Getting Married shouldnt people care?!

listen, you're going to have to put up with so much shit over this, and you're goin to be a completely different person in a few years. why not make it a prolonged engagement? like, 4 years or so? you're not going anywhere, right? he's not going anywhere. why put a piece of paper on it? it doesn't make your relationship any more solid, right?

when people hear of 18 year olds getting married, they think barefoot and pregnant rednecks in the back woods of kentucky. personally, i'd be deeply ashamed of my daughters if they got married so young. it's just a reality you face as you get older. 18 seems like 14, it's not really all that different. i have a 16 year old stepson. i haven't been around his entire life, so seeing him as a baby isn't really an issue. it's that he's SO FREAKING YOUNG. and he's a brilliant kid! he's been through cancer. live a little, live a little life together. don't go rushing into something that most people don't get right anyway.

and don't get peeved with your parents. at least they're not lockin you in the basement until you see the "error of your ways."

 

ooh oooh ooh, can i get locked in your basement? i mean, um

i dunno if necessarily postponing it is the absolute best solution . the op seems adamant that theyll be ok. i certainly dont disagree with postponing it (i mean, my guy and i are talking marriage but he hasnt even proposed yet and im already planning on a 2-3 year engagement til hes done postsecondary n all). but i do find it a bit frustrating that she asked for "why" her parents werent ecstatic and thought we were beign snotty and ageist because we answered the why
*goes to hide in kc's dungeon, er, basement*

 

you're gonna love some of the stuff i just bought, it's so cool.

 

When I was 10 years old, I remember my father once said to me that he will have me get married at the age of 18 years old. My mother said back then that all fathers dream to see their daughters married at 18, but when they finally get 18, they find their daughters too young for marriage.
I didn't get married at 18, and not even now at 24 do I think I am prepared for this. My parents are now feeling they're getting old, and they would be glad to know I was safe and married perhaps with a child too, but I'm not ready for any of this...

 

It shouldn't matter who gives a shit about your marriage besides your fiance and yourself. Saying "no one gives a shit" is kind of childish. Do you expect them to help pay for your wedding too? I think if you're old enough to get married, then you're old enough to take on all of the responsibilities. A lot of people show that they care in different ways, so saying that "no one cares" is kind of an assumption.

 

First of all Congrats on the engagement. I'm happy for you, I don't think that your too younge, I think that the only person who can judge if your ready is you.

Talk to your parents, tell them you want some more support.

 

congrats on the engagement
i agree with everything verseau_miracle said and also bumble.

 

heh. once again divided on age lines.

 

marriage sucks.

 

lolz i agree with stalk as well. i cant see myself ever getting married. i do hope to live the majority of my life with someone i love, but actual marriage seems stupid to me.

 

especially with all the legal issues, blues.
my friends got married @ 18 and they aren't divorced yet because they can't afford it. (but they only see each other to trade their child)
even managed to have a kid.
can't believe it!
blows my mind..

 

Hi, you probably won't listen to me because I didn't listen to anyone either when I was 18 and got married. My parents weren't exactly pissed at me, but they were not happy either. For one reason they knew I could do better, but they didn't want to say so. I'm not saying that applies to you in the least bit, because I don't know you or your boyfriend. The other reason was my dad wanted me to go to college and become something for myself, not just be someone's wife. The third reason was that my dad did not have the money for it. He didn't expect it and so he was not prepared to chunk out a big lump of money for a wedding. Plus I know deep down that they all knew it wouldn't last. My dad didn't come to the wedding or the reception and it was at his freakin house. He went to the bar until it was over. He really thought I was throwing my life away. BUT- he never said any of this to me until just recently.

By the time I was 20 I was miserable and filing for divorce. The irony though was that at my reception one of my best friends asked me "Jen, what happens if in a few years you just don't like him anymore?" and my answer 2 hours after I married the guy was, "well if that happens then I'll just get a divorce."

So, like I said you won't listen to any of us. I wish people had told me the truth though. No one really tried to stop me. So at least look at it this way, you are getting advice now, if you choose to ignore it, then that is your problem. Whether you think so or not you will change between 18 and 25 and between 25 and 30. If you don't change, then I feel very sorry for you.

 

Wow, this reminds me of a girl I met when I moved here (to NC). I was astonished by what she told me and what she and her husband really do believe. At 17 years old she got pregnant on purpose. (no really, she says they were trying to have a kid) Then she got married the day before she gave birth (she was then 18). I just couldn't believe that people would do that on purpose. To this day she thinks it was the right thing to do. They have all sorts of problems now with no money, no education between them, two kids and all sorts of debt to the point where they can't pay their mortgage or buy groceries, not to mention that her husband doesn't help her with the kids at all because he has to "work" for 15 hours a day. And she still tells me she doesn't know why her parents didn't support her decision to do all of this at 17 and why to this day (the kid is 9 now) they will not baby sit. And she doesn't know why she is so miserable and is contemplating an affair. She thinks the answer is to have another kid.

Sorry to get off topic. I know this doesn't really apply to the original poster. I just get baffled by these sorts of things.

 

it's hard, when you're so full of love and youthful dreams of doing things right. it's a noble desire, it's sweet and incredibly naive. usually it's the money and the growing up in two different directions that kills young marriages. why do it?

 

age lines eh? im a whoppin 22 yknow, pretty much a youngin too
and i plan on getting married, but, itll be when im like 25 or so by the look of things atm

 

Well, I'm very happy for you! Congratulations!
My partner and I were thinking of getting married last year but never got around to it (life gets in the way lol). However, we both know that eventually we will get married (or maybe not, I mean, it's not going to make any difference to our relationship) and we know that we have found our soulmates in each other. We're expecting our first child in August.

The people who are criticizing you don't know you or your boyfriend or what type of relationship you have, so just ignore them. If you know that you've found your soulmate, why wait?

I remember ages ago I heard the quote: "Don't marry the person you can live with, marry the person you can't live without." I couldn't imagine ever being without my boyfriend, so if you feel the same way about yours, go ahead and celebrate the union of your lives!

It's sad that your parents obviously can't see how happy you are together, and how committed you obviously are to be making such a powerful decision early in life. I wish you both a long happy marriage!

And all this talk of divorce is really unfair - people of every age get divorced! It's not like it's only the people who married as teenagers.

Anyway, congrats again huney! Do what you think is right for you and forget about what everyone else thinks!

 

I agree with the age thing. It's different in my family because they encourage young marriage. Everyone in my family has married young. Luckily, I've been with Kevin for a very long time. How long have you been with this guy? It could play a factor. As for me and Kevin...6 years is a long time and by the time our wedding comes, it'll be 8. My family is psyched because of the fact that they're like "finally! It's only been forever!"

Don't think that just because you've been together for a year or 2 that you are ready to get married. Are you living with him? Once you move in together, it's a whole different ball game, too! That either makes or breaks your relationship

 

22-23 is about the time in females where you're frontal cortex has finished with it's growth spurt of neural connections. yep. you're a grown up now.

 

ewwww i dont wanna be an adult! i wanna go play video games and sleep in

wait... i already do taht. dammit!

 

i know. i always wanted to be a toys r us kid.

i soothe my broken heart by behaving as childish as possible as often as possible.