guidence for woman on top please

ive never ever had one from anyway or position or whatever (TOYS) or whoever (meaning me or him)

 

okay, entirely different topic...have you had your hormone levels checked yet? have you tried viagra?

 

Yep Done All That Medical Stuff And Had The Talk Stuff Aswell Andnothing Has Changed A Damm Thing

hormones are normal and viagra made my face go hot!!!!

 

that sucks. maybe you're just not turned on by the usual things. is there anything that you've found arouses you?

 

whats being aroused? i really dont know and rely on him to tell me if im wet or not

 

turned on? tingly sensation in the groin area? how's your general health? do you have plenty of energy? any back or neck problems that might need attention from a chiropractor and/or massage therapist?

 

no tingly stuffing going on ever other than that im as fit as anyone else no problems anywhere

describe tingly then to me as the only thing i can relate that to is if you got your head rubbed and you get goosebumps on you then or your arm lightly rubbed and the same happens

 

what attracted you to your husband when you met him?

 

his eyes i think, long time ago now tho.

 

does this article resonate with you?


http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Sex/story?id=2395452&page=1

 

hey i don thtink im asexual as i have the desire i just dont get any feeling from doing it, certain aspects of that article i can understand tho, i certainly know that i felt no idea what they where on about when talking to me at school about boys and stuff, i just hadnt a clue what they meant

 

so it sounds like you have low libido rather than complete disinterest in sex. have you explored ways of turning yourself on? taken an active role in determining what works for you?

 

i have tried this for hte last 2 years and cant even get myself wet i just dont know what it is we are talking about looking for here none of it feels any different than now typing this out other than you get the poking and prodding and pushing into some pretzel type position

i have endured many hours of porn i have spent so much on batterries i should have shares in duracell by now i think im the only one keeping then going to be honest i have bought the magic wand and all for what? nothing!!!!!

 

if you're not getting the physical response of arousal from sexual activity, it's understandable that you would feel the way you do. what is it that you want at this point? it kind of sounds like you just want your husband to quit bothering you.

 

i want to feel something to encourage me to go on but im not sure how to go about it and questions what im doing as i get no feeling from what i do try , so then perhaps im doing it wrong?

 

have you tried an actual sex therapist or sex therapy clinic yet?

 

yes we both went 2 years back and it did nothing at all, in fact that woman made things far worse by getting us to do sensate focus which i realy hated and had panick attacks as i go blank and cant think of what to do, i froze, and when we told her she just said moreof the same for months on end, we stopped going once we realised that she didnt have a clue how to help us

oh should have said im in the uk so resources are very limited here to whats available, but did go privatly to have a hypno see if she could improve things and although i did go under fine and gave me excersises to do at home which i really tried but just couldnt get anywhere with that even.

 

well, if you can find a listserve online with women who have gone to sex therapists, you might be able to get a good recommendation for a sex therapist or clinic which has actually been helpful to women in your situation. i don't think a frenzied attack on the problem is going to help. in fact, it might help to put all efforts to elicit an orgasm from you on hold for a while so you can relax. being able to relax is very important to the whole process. what you are going through is not unusual for young women to experience when they are learning how to control their own bodies and minds to allow orgasm. just because you've not gotten to that point yet, doesn't mean you can't. and many a woman has experienced the guy who insistently tries to extract the orgasm from her to no avail. i think it helps to think of your orgasm as something you allow and encourage to come from within you. so everything that makes you comfortable and relaxed should help. everything that makes you uptight and tense will not help. this needs to be your mission, not your husband's. you need to want it and you need to control it. this is something you need to give yourself because you want to do something pleasurable for yourself. you own it.

 

i agree with you but even then its still impossible and to be honest here im not just talking about orgasm ok i would be happy if i got those tingles you talked about, the so called pleasure thing, which i dont understand at all, any of the stuff other than orgasm would be a start but i dont get any of it, all i get is what basically amounts to nothing more than polite and quiet rape!!! if you can understand that, oh andi use that term as im qualified in that way to talk of rape!!! if i gain no feeling from something at all, and dont initiate anything, and only go along with what he wants in making him happy then what else would you define it as in total then?

 

rape is non-consensual. if you're talking about sex with your husband, and you are going along with it, it's not rape. however, it sounds like you find it very unpleasant. have you ever had sex with anybody besides your husband?