Sometimes when I see parents with thier little ones I just get this electric feeling inside of my stomach and I think about how much I want to be a mommy! I know I want to wait a couple years to make sure I have money saved, and can take care of a child the way they should be, but all I can think when I see thier cute little happy giggles is "I want a baby now!" Thats just selfish and I know I'll hold off...but it's just such a strong feeling you know? Anyone else have that before they had children?
I feel that way all the time....Well, I did. Until my god-daughter was born. The moment that Gracie May came into my life (she lived with me from the time she was 2 weeks old) I was complete. Now I don't think I want any other children. That little girl is the light of my life. Holly
Now that I am away from her....I just yearn to hold her. My arms actually ache when I think about her. Holly
Her parents and I are cousins, though we never talked. I think I met them once when I was 13. But through our whole "clan", I am known as the best babysitter. So when they found out they were pregnant, they asked me to watch the baby. They work 12 hour shifts, 6 days a week, at night. There was no way that they could keep a good schedule for the baby, so it was decided that I would keep her everyday except sundays. They would visit her then. So from the time her mother went back to work when she was 2 weeks old, Gracie came to live with me. My room was transformed into a nursery. I was a senior in high school, so I sometimes had regrets about not getting to go out on weekends. But as Gracie got older and started to learn, my disillusionment faded and my pride swelled. I had to give her back to her parents about 4 weeks ago. I am at college now. Everyday, I ache to hold her. I go to sleep thinking of her and holding one of her favourite stuffed animals. She is my daughter. As sad as it is, her parents recognise this as well. Gracie, even with me calling myself Holly and differentiating between myself and her momma, she still called me "momma". Her parents aren't sad about this. Not to the point of resenting me. They resent themselves and their need for money. But they know that it is in her best interest to live with me. So after I graduate, they are signing custody to me. And then she will be my daughter, fully. It's almost bittersweet.... Holly
Well it sounds like a good idea for them to sign over custody to you...you love her and can apparently give her a better life. You have such a bond with her...I'm so happy for you.I hope that everything works out. Will you be adopting her as your own forever or just as a temporary thing?
I will be adopting her, as mine fully...fully recognised as "mother" by law. Although, I will never stop her parents from seeing her and I will never make her call me mom or anything. I would much rather her call me Holly. I was adopted and I never called my real father dad. It caused a rift between us that couldn't be fixed. I don't want that for Gracie May and her parents, you know>? holly
This did happen to me before I had kids. I know exactly what you're talking about. Even though my kids are not cuddly little babies anymore, to this day when I see a baby I am reminded of when they were. (Before they started mouthing off and trying to boss me around.) It's funny though, because now that I have my particular kids, I know I won't be having any more. They're only babies for such a short little while. I don't regret having them, but 2 is all I can handle.
