im always freaked out now like... before that mescaline turned on... i was all aware of everything.... and hiyper. like not jyper... like... fast thinking... and not what you would typically think as a human. people who type like... youre supposed to write piss me off... like aunt anne... right now... making me mad asking stupid insignificant questionsabout my age tommorrow not now. so as i was saying i used to have like... just things in my head... now its organizing. its massing its self into a juiant ball like i hear this music non stop all the time now... and i humm it with out knowing... ill catch myself... or others doo. and they complain and. i catch my self trying to hold back all the walls that try to catch me. i feel crushed in side. i feel like echoes are trying to confuse me and ... be mean. and try to hurt my head and i feel scared scared scared. my mom said im feeling anxiety not when i walk into a room and feel freaked out more than walking around... walking into a room and not finding you recognize anyone, though you go to school with them. the teacher is mean the whole period asking you normal questions to try to help. but they almost turn into a fish. i don t know what to say about it. other than it really makes me scared and nervous im eating less... but i need more im freaking out. i need a caretaker with a wheelchair and an open mined. to talk to. my mom said she will give me back the buss sometime. so i will escape next year after school . i want apple juice and green olives i dont want to be stuck in school the walls are shrinking towards me and people try to touch me and talk and i just wnat to get to the next safe spot. and i say wired things at bad moments. i ... am so fucking wierd fuck- i need to get laid?
psychadelics can bring out latent psychosis or skitzofrenia(sp)... then again, alot of drugs will have an afterglow for a while. good luck, and read some carlos castenada.
