Child Abuse Victim - Bad Candidate For Tripping?

I'll spare you the details but basically I have a lot of repressed memories of when I was abused as a kid (I'm 21 now). I mean, I don't walk around moping but certain things like scenes in a movie involving child abuse will upset me and bring back flashbacks of my past.

I smoke a lot of weed, have tripped on salvia (didn't get any visuals and it was weird, I felt as if I was stuck in time for hours and things kept repeating), and take a lot of painkillers recreationally but that's it for experience. I know none of that can prepare me for my first acid trip but fuck it, I'm ready. The only thing is, I know LSD can bring up repressed memories and while I'm not personally that concerned about it, my friends think I'm doomed because of my past. But I really don't think that matters as long as I'm in a good mood when I do it, right?

I'm getting my sugar cube tonight and will probably use it within the next day or so since it was just dropped, so any insight soon would be helpful.

 

It's not for any of us to say really. I've dated 3 girls who were abused very badly as children, and they never bothered about it during an LSD trip. If anything, they felt liberated from haunting memories. But for some girls I know, the memories are something that will never stop causing them pain, and while I cant imagine what it must be like, I dont blame them. LSD will show you much more than your inner nature, LSD can break down reality for you to play with. As long as you can go into a trip with a positive additude, one without fear, than you should be fine. But everyone's different. At most, I cant imagine bad memories causing you to go insane but rather pour heart out to whoever you are tripping with, maybe break down crying for a little bit. But typically that is the best way to handle your fears. Take them head on and manipulate the emotions into something positive, however hard that may be to do.
Whatever you decide, best of luck to you, good health, peace love and happyness!
Namaste *

 

I worried about this stuff too.
The whole old repressed issues and childhood mental ailments.
Cause my parents told me that when I was like 1 or 2 year olds I would regularly go into extreme tantrums just yelling and screaming for hours and the only they did was take everything dangerous out of the bathroom and put me in there till I calmed down. They said they never knew why, it was 'just a phase'.

Which I don't have any specific memories of straight up 'abuse' but that piece worried me particularly because it's often a sign of schizophrenia or some other mental issue that will come out later in years if a child did what I did.

But I actually found LSD to help with it because you do quite literally go back in time to those past experiences and you can change them. Not "literally" change time, but change the way the events have been imprinted into your brain. So if you meditate before hand, set intentions on everything you want to change about your interpretation of the past (love and forgiveness maybe) then when tripping, when those portions of your psyche arise, if you maintain focus on your intentions. The imprints will change. One thing someone who was seemingly very wise said to me "I wouldn't waste my emotion on hate". You only have so much emotion in you, direct it properly, you do have complete control over it.

But I would highly recommend you read this book before hand
http://www.noveltynet.org/content/books/neurologic/

I would also suggest you read this one too
http://www.lycaeum.org/books/books/psychedelic_experience/tibetan.html

 

LSD could help you with your memories. i think most of us come from some history of abuse. my abuse may not have been as bad as yours but what happened had a powerful effect on me and i have had to work through many psychological issues thanx to my parents. LSD helped me understand myself and my parents better. but that’s me - i don't know you and as we are all aware LSD is subjective and many people would think that i am crazy for suggesting that LSD might help you. i don't know what your intentions are either. why do you want to take LSD? what are you looking to get from it?

 

i can see how lsd would help you make it so the memories arent nearly as painful to you. i feel like you analyze the experience in a different light so that they are one obstacle that you have overcome in your life that so many people have absolutely no relation to, which makes you stronger

 

it's a risk but most likely acid will take you away from that and help you stop identifying as the abused child.