am I gay

ok define gay as what would determine gay or bi or tran or what ever the answer is

 

do you want to kiss a guy
suck a penis
hug a guy
love a guy
fuck a butt
et cetera

you're most likely gay
now have fun ya hear

 

on some guys mabey but I also dig chicks so can someone give me a label as much as I hate labels uh dude I'm kind of confused on this one

 

you are a monkey
you are bi
you like humans

 

shut up I'm asking for help here

 

that was help

 

That's not the kind of post you give to a confused person, grow up.

Here's a more mature response:

Gay: To be attracted to or have an attraction for a person of the same gender either physically, emotionally or both simultaneously.

Bisexual: To be attracted to or have an attraction for a person either physically, emotionally or both simultaneously regardless of their gender.

If you could tell us your situation it would make it easier for us to help.

 

well its hard to answer but uh yeah I kindof like this guy but at the same time I also like chicks and the problem is does that like make me gay or bi or what

 

you are a human
you like both sexes
you are a monkey
you are bi
you are whatever you want to be
I hope you aren't dumb
it isn't that hard.

 

just forget I ever ask

 

what's with the insecurity, mate.
you are everything and nothing
whatever you want to be

 

I doubt it's insecurity. He was probably looking for an intelligent answer, not some pseudo philosophic crap.

 

Not or both. You're not gay if you're into guys sexually but not romantically -- which is different from emotionally, which can include platonic love.

 

You're young, it might take some time to figure it out. I realised I was at least bi when I was 18 but now I'm 24 I'm just starting to realise that although I'm physically attracted to both genders I'm much more emotionally/romantically attracted to guys.

For now, just shag whoever you feel like (as long as they're up for it too of course!) and don't worry too much about labels; things will become clearer as you grow and experience different things. If you really HAVE to apply a label to yourself, bisexual seems to describe you best at the moment, but sexuality is not set in stone. It's pretty rare for someone to be 100% gay or 100% straight, most are somewhere nearer the middle but may choose at some point to only go for one sex or the other, for a variety of reasons.

There are different dimensions to attraction too, as has been hinted at. There is sexual, physical, aesthetic attraction and there is emotional and romantic attraction, and possibly others. Much of the confusion over sexuality people have comes from different levels of these different types of attraction - and these levels can change over time. As with any other aspect of your life you should try to be aware and mindful of what's going on with yourself so you can adapt to changes like this relatively painlessly.

I hope that helps...

 

well some of what you said helps but still I'm lost on this one


I guess what I'm looking for is something that makes all this make since

 

?? Are you serious?
then what kind of answer are you looking for?

Look ibe a-ta, listen to your instincts. trust them. "follow your heart" yadda yadda

and I have a question for the 61 year old I forget your name from page 1:

what is so pseudophilosophical about helping a 17 year old guy see that he is a human, he is a monkey, he is bi, and he is whatever he wants to be.

?

if you like guys are girls, you're bi. that's just a WORD.


if you are confused, eat a mushroom and meditate on what you are confused about.

sounds like this kid needs some receptors reset.

 

Well, ya know, I'll just bet he's got that figured out for himself in terms of the man/monkey thing. But, he asked for a specific answer and you tried to blow smoke at him. He didn't need that. If thats confusing to you, I suggest you keep on munching your 'srooms and see if any of your receptors pick up on anything.
Signed, the 61 year old whose name you forgot

 

Well what is it exactly that doesn't make sense? The fact that you find yourself attracted to some guys as well as some women? Well it may not make immediate sense if you've been brought up to think that everyone is heterosexual by default, and then there's a minority that's gay. But in terms of biology and evolution it actually makes a lot of sense that most humans are to some extent bisexual - same-sex sex occurs throughout nature, most notably in our closest genetic relatives, the bonobo chimps, who will and do shag pretty much anything.

Or perhaps it doesn't make sense to you that 'you' as you know yourself might not be totally straight.. well, first off, if you're gay or even just have a gay side (ie. bisexual) it doesn't mean ANYTHING other than the fact that you have some level of attraction to member(s) of your own sex. You don't have to become soft or camp or mince around or adhere to any stereotypes, if that's what you're worried about. That sort of thing is more a question of GENDER identity rather than sexual identity... You don't have to be an archetypal masculine straight man to be straight, and you don't have to be effeminate to be gay. There are effeminate men who are as straight as an arrow, and some very 'masculine' butch gay men too. And vice versa. You are nothing BUT you and it's up to you to define your own identity, including who you like to have sex with, what music you like, what political and philosophical positions you agree and disagree with etc.

Some of these things you can choose, others you will find you just seem to be naturally predisposed towards. The challenge is to accept all these things and incorporate them into your sense of who you are, and to make no apologies for who you are, to yourself or to others. That's what life is all about.

I heard a great quote about being gay on another forum which I think is relevant, whatever your sexual preferences are: "Being gay should be the LEAST interesting thing about you". And you can replace 'gay' there with straight or bisexual or transexual or whatever you like - sexuality is really not a big deal, it's just a preference/orientation like any other, and whatever your sexuality is it's not worth dwelling on when you could be out there achieving worthwhile things. Focus on your life and your identity as a whole and only give sexuality the relevance that it actually has - that is, not much apart from when it comes to choosing sexual partners.

 

Soundsystem, well said! We are so much more as human beings than we are as labels. While it is perhaps natural to look for shorthand identities for our selves the truth is we are simply too complex to fit into pigeon holes.
One of the finest marks of a man is to reach out to a younger man and offer to guide him through some of life's confusing moments. For a kid growing up in a society that has yet to value many groups of people, questions of sexual orientation/attractions are tough to sort out.

 

I say pay attention to the love itself, not the label that it falls under.

Don't pay attention to the people on this board who say rude things to you... This is a subject that can be very emotional and should be treated delicately for people just coming to terms with it.

However, the wording of your original post kind of asked for people to respond rudely or sarcastically...My initial response was... "How can he possibly not know the DEFINITION of the word 'gay'??" But then I realized what you were actually saying.