Help!!! :(

I am so confused. I have wanted to be a mtf forever. I just can not tho. I am 18 in college as an electrical engineer major. I have a really good life. No one knows about this in me. My parenta think I am perfectly normal. They have never seen me show any sign of gayness. If I could start my quest to the opposite sex right now would I do it? Yes! I can not tho. It is highly unethical for me. I would loose everything in my life. I also personable think that it is HIGHLY inmoral...
*sigh*

For me I just need to find a way to get ride of my desire. Please help. If for some really strange way you can find an ethical way for me to please my desires, please tell.
Thanks

 

oh and another thing. I am not Gay. I still likewoman, but at times I see myself checking out guys.

 

have you tried crossdressing? it's not as extreme as a sex change, and it's temporary. not to mention fun. although I'm coming from the other perspective (FTM) so maybe I can't help you at all... why exactly do you find this transition unethical or immoral?

 

Yes, I use to do it all the time in my sisters room when I was younger. That was when I was home alone...It felt great and I always wanted more. I have not done it in years cause I am never home alone and am so busy with school. I d not see any way I can experiment with cross dressing right now. My sister is gone. haha....I duna...

Yes I think it is highly unetical. Society rejects it like crazy and it would screw up my life right now. It would take me away from school and gymnastics.

So basicly seems like I need to work on getting these desires out of my life.

 

Like yourself i was born male but on the inside I'm a girl, It don't matter if you like being Trans or not your girl side will want to come out, i don't like being trans either but like it or not i am and so are you.

But at least you know i was in denial for years, knowing that can help, as long as you don't pretend to be a guy, that is the worst thing you can do, i don't pretend no more and i feel better for it.

 

since you're so busy with school and all that, maybe you can wear women's underwear or something.
and if someone sees it when you aren't wearing it, say you had someone over.

 

ok, so I think I need some help o how to eliminate this feelings. I always have these feeling. A lot when i am in public or in the mall. It is like i will be walking by and see this girl with this sweater and i will think "hey that is cute...i want it" or like "i wish i wa a pretty as she." wft?! Some times I will get these random fantasising of me in her body or someting. WTF!!! What is wrong with me. haha uhh.................

uh! This desire feels so good to me, but i think it is time for a change. Any ideas on how to change this?

 

Sorry I keep mulit posting, but I do not see an edit button. For Sorcha, do you feel happy that you have under gone a change? Are you satisfied with your results? Do you have many problems in like?

 

Hi I'm basically at the same stage you are at so i have not made any changes yet, the difference is i'm older than you and i know that its not going away, the only thing that helps at all are antidepressants with the gender dysphoria but even then you know its still there.

The mall thing yeah i've being there or though i went home and cried i was too self conscious to stay to do any shopping.

have a look at this web site these people deal with people like us all the time, they know what they are talking about.
transgendercare.com

I wish i could tell you that you that it will just go away but, [size=-1]Unfortunately from everthing that i have read it never will.
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yeah i'm was the same, now i have come to the concludation that i'm Bi would like to get with a guy/gal but i might puke on them.


don't worry about it, but i must say you are gay because in your mind you are a girl and girl on girl is being a lesbin.

stop thinking like a boy its not good for you.

 

Thanks for the feedback. I was kinda scared you were gana tell me this. Unfortuently I can not accept that it will not go away. I figure I am still pretty young, so I can still get ahold of this shit. Why you say stop thinking like a boy????

My new years resolution is to get rid of this. hmmm Maby geting a girl friend may help???... ahhh.........................hmmm. I think I need something to work on.

 

If you had read that link i put in then you would know what i mean, as you grew up people trained you to act more boy like coz there are a lot of deferences between boys and girls. I know that this ture coz i remmeber training my self to do this.

when i think of more ill write more..........

 

HEy thanks for the feedback. Haha I am refusing to read that. So basicly you are saying that I am a girl inside that was conditioned over time to ack like a guy... Makes sense.

My goal is to get ride of this liked it never happened. I personally think that I am a Male and that is all ther is too it. I think that God made my a Male and i am a Male. I do not believe that I am a girl inside a guy's body...I do believe that I have major issues that i need to solve out. I only belive that this could happend form hornaones that are scrwed up or for somehow I was conditioned in my life to have this desire. I may never know.

I once wanted to jin the airforce thinking it will toughen me up and make me into a proper man...uuuhhhhhh.

Anyways...You think getting a girlfriend may help?

 

The thing with gender Identity is its subjective no person can tell you who you are, even if they are a doctor, if you say that you are male then you are male, in my case i knew for most of my life that something was wrong with me i just did not know what is was.

sorry for making assumptions.

Now that we've got that out of the way.

i've reading your older posts and there is a crossdressing theme about it, the thing is some crossdressers have decided to feminism their body mostly for a sexual thrill, i don't understand this myself as i have never being a crossdresser.

I just had a thought that just might just work, however it will mean a little work on your part, let me explain.

What happened when you where young when you where crossdressing is it places an image of yourself in your mind eye as a girl, when you are with a girl take the responsibility of being a girl away from yourself and place it instead on the shoulders of a girl. Doing this with a girl friend may help.

The idea is to trick your mind into thinking that you are not the girl, of course this assumes that what coursed the problem was environment.

Keep in mind that this may or may not work, the only other thing i can suggest psychologist or something like that really all i can do is help you trying to identify whats wrong.