"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

My hair hurts.

 

PriceCheck has hurt her hair!

 

I woke up on a mortuary slab with no recollection of my life.

 

A meteorite crashed through my roof and landed on my foot, and the doctor says I should stay off of it for a week.

 

Yeah hi. Can I get a pizza with mushrooms and hot peppers?

 

"Hey Boss, I got an eye problem. I just can't see coming in to work today."

 

Still locked in the trunk of this car.

 

My toe is caught in my hair.

 

Seriously-I used to know a girl-one of her co-workers called in one day and said he couldn't come to work because he was constipated-freaking constipated! And this guy wasn't joking either-I don't even think he knew how to joke. That one really takes the cake.

 

I only have 24 hours to live and I'm not going to waste it at work.

 

I wanted to see what would happen if I stuck the barbecue lighter up my nose and pushed the ignite button. Now my eye hurts.

 

I have a sexy looking pizza guy at my house.

 

my hair hurts.......

 

I finally nailed the intro to Warehouse and I can't quit playing it.

 

my dogs will miss me.

 

My toothbrush is well past its dentist recommended date of disposal.

 

The Cubans invaded my house through the air conditiong vents, and I have to wait for the repairman to come.

 

I think the walls talk when I'm not around.

 

Carnage...there is carnage everywhere...I must clean up.

 

My clothes got stolen off of the clothes line...........