Boyfriend in Jail....Confused!

So heres the deal, my bf went to jail in September over bullshit charges. Well I write him nearly everyday and keep in contact with his family. Im just confused on what I should do. I love him and theres no question about that. He writes back and his letters are coming more often then they did in the beginning though I dont know whats gonna happen once he gets out. He says stuff like "i was thinking about you when I was looking at so and so book" or "Happy Birthday, enjoy it and get completely shitty, I know I would. I would be in jingle bell boxers and a santa cap singing happy birthday to you with a bottle of jack in my hands" what should I expect with things like this. This is the first time I have ever had to go through anything like this and I know he is well worth the wait. He gets out in February and Im excited but scared all at the same time. I was just looking for advice and maybe other girls input on what to expect and stuff like that. Thanks so much!

 

*chuckles* If he's getting out in February then no doubt he's excited to see you as well. I think you can expect a bout of heavy lovemaking every night for the first few nights you're together with him. He's been locked up in a prison with men, away from you, for MONTHS - do the math.

But seriously, you probably know all that so what is it exactly that you're asking? What do you find scary?

 

I guess you could say that I really got upset when he said in a letter "...as far as telling you what to expect when I get out...I dont know what to tell you..." that made me cry cuz I took it as him saying he doesnt know if we are going to be together....is that just stupid?

 

Well look at it this way:
If you would have broken up with him you would have felt really shitty either beacuse you have dumped him while he was in jail or simply beacuse you have broken up, so it don't matter.

Even in the worse case scenario you will be a strong reliable person, who knows what she wants and goes for it, and you will know the answer to the eternal question: "What if."

And if you stay together and everything turns out great..... I belive someone has already anwsered this question.

 

i guess...but now its less then a month before he gets released and im scared shitless....i hate this feeling lol

 

I think that people are often lulled into a false sense of security in their relationship. They believe that since they are married or have been with a person for a while that they are "safe." The reality is that some people change their mind, and no matter how secure anyone believes themself to be there is always the chance that tomorrow they will be single. You just never know.

With that said, you should never live your life waiting for the "other shoe to drop" because it may never drop. So, instead of spending the next month wondering "what if" just plan on what you will do for a coming home party for him. After that, see where it goes. You will wear yourself out emotionally and physically if you keep stressing about something that you cannot possibly predict (at least not with 100% accuracy).

His "as far as what to expect" comment could mean any number of things, so try not to take it the worst possible way. He probably meant it as a general term and not "when I get out it's over." In my experience sometimes men have trouble communicating their feelings or thoughts in a way that a woman can easily understand and accept at face value. Women tend to look for the underlying meaning, and often we are wrong because there isn't one.

Consider life a journey and this just another destination. Regardless of what happens you have to believe that you will be okay.

Best of Luck

 

Know that being in jail makes you feel very alone and insecure. Having someone outside waiting for you, caring for you, means everything. You mean a lot to him right now, but probably he can't express himself well in a letter. Just be there for him, and I'm sure he'll express his gratitude in a way you'll appreciate!

 

lord i sure hope so...february 7 is coming up fast and im excited as hell!

 

well tomorrow is day that will decide everything.....hmmm...lord im scared!

 

Good luck. I could see many different interpretations from his comment, but didn't get the one you got though.

Peace and love

 

Im about to go to jail for an MIP and my bf is staying with me. It sucks because i will miss him so much and i will miss our 10 month anniversary on valentines day. It makes me sad and i want to cry. I dont think i couls last in jail. Does anyone know how bad it is? Ive never been and i guess you can say im sort of a pussy. lol.

 

What's an MIP? Marijuana illegal possession?
As for U.S. jails, I've only been in five of them. There is apparently a wide variety (for men) ranging from dorms where everybody gets along to high tension lockups where you're watching your back. In general I can think of places I'd rather be. If you're the only white on a black range, for example, that's bad news.

In general, be civil but not too friendly until you know someone, mind your own business, do what the pigs tell you, and try and avoid hassles without letting people push you around.