Question for anyone transsexual (mentally or physically)

I find the subject of transsexualism fascinating and I was just wondering about something (if anyone can help?)…

The typical straight man:
Quite horny and given the chance would sleep with hundreds of women.

The typical straight woman:
Far more selective and cautious about choosing a sexual partner.

I understand the scientific reason for this is simply because women are the ones who get pregnant and have to raise the child, so they are instinctively more cautious about sexual partners, and seek someone who can be a father to the child — while the man's only objective is to get his semen inside as many women as possible!

So, my question is: what attitude towards sexual relationships do transsexual people have? That of their born sex, or of their mental sex?

For example, would a straight transwoman (male to female) have a typical female attitude towards sexual relations? Would she be quite reserved about her choice of sexual partners? Or would she be more like a typical man and, given the chance, be quite sexually active?

Another question: most men are quite into looks. They get turned on by looking at women. Women are much more turned on by the psychological side of the relationship. Hence most porn is for men.

So, again, are transsexual people more like their born sex in this regard, or more like their mental sex? For example, do transwomen generally like porn, or is it the transmen who like porn? (Someone's gotta like porn!)

I also have a bonus question! As I understand it, transwomen generally resent the male bodies they were born with. But in many cases — even when living fully as women, or having had HRT — they retain their penis. My question is: can a transwoman be genuinely happy to be a woman with a penis? Or is it just a matter of living with it, but feeling a part of you is still wrong? Or are there mixed feelings going on?

 

I'm a trans FtM and I've really thought like a straight man my whole life.
when I was younger, I wanted to have as many girlfriends as possible or have sex with as many women as possible and I did so.
but, now that I'm older, I've grown out of that. I'd rather have a relationship with a good woman rather than just having sex and dropping her.

I think the way of my mental sex (for the most part), but it could be different for anyone.

 

Interesting; thanks.

 

I'm a FTM, but happen also to be gay. I think women are beautiful, but they don't sexually or romantically attract me. There is a great difference between sexuality and gender; my sexuality is that of a gay male, my physical gender is that of a female, my true gender is that of a man. As far as sex drive goes, and motivation for sleeping with anyone I can get my hands on, yeah, that's there, but I don't act on it because the idea of sleeping with another man while I still have a female body, is repulsive to me. Can you make sense of that? Good luck Thanks for taking an interest, I think that's very important.

 

I have male genitals, but have a female mind and i always have done. I certainly couldn't ever have sexual relations or any kind of physical relationship while i still have the body that i have. It would just feel totally wrong and horrible to me. All i've ever wanted is to be loved, to find a nice guy that loves and respects me, and for me to feel the same for him. As for my attitude to sex, i definitely could only ever have sex with a man i really was in love with.

 

I'm a MTF and i think mostly like a girl even though i have male interests, when it comes to sex i could not have sex with just anyone like how guys do.

Just because one is a girl dose not mean they are not horny, i wish i would stop thinking about sex all the time Grrr its almost enough to make one puke.

i have lived most of my life thinking that i was a straight male, i now think that I'm a lesbian maybe Bisexual not sure yet.

and lastly your bonus question i have no problem with having a penis but i feel that if i was to be with a guy on a sexual level i would not want a penis at all thats just grose

 

.

 

I think a big part of understanding this stuff is being able to separate stereotypes and gendered behavior from identity. A lot of people would probably think that being able to express a more "masculine" or "feminine" side is what this is all about, and that a person who considers transition would be better served by just acting more like "the opposite sex" as the need arose. But that really isn't it! I'm not particularly interested in "girl things" or acting "feminine" and never have been. As for thinking "like a girl"... well, everyone is different. Despite common wisdom, some things are better left to individuals to define for themselves rather than trying to come up with a rule of thumb.

This is about the body. Gendered behavior is a separate issue. Just as there are tomboys and "kinder, gentler" men, the gender expression of transpeople runs the range as well. It isn't an interest in clothes or makeup that makes a woman, nor does interest in "male" things make someone a man, in and of itself. Society tries to decide for us what we are allowed to think in order to belong to any particular group, and it penalizes those who fall outside the norm. This is a very primate thing.

The sense of self comes from way down, it is fundamental to our being. I believe it is programmed by chemicals in the womb. At that point the brain is very "plastic" and many structures and the pathways between them is all up in the air. There may be a neurological component to our interests- certain genetics combined with certain hormones produce a general theme in our behavior - but a big part of what we like is due to imprinting and other things we experience. Some of us may try to like dollies simply because that is what other girls like. Some girls don't experience a "maternal instinct" to any great degree (if that is one reason someone may play with a doll, for example) and they never have the drive to mimic childrearing at all. Everyone is different.

Having said that, I think a lot of people don't consider what causes typical male and female behavior. They tend to think people just are men and women without a given cause. For example, the reason men tend to be horny is chemical- they have a lot more testosterone than women do, right? Without that, their sex drive goes to nil.

At the same time, there are definite physical features of the brain that are different between men and women. Most men are visually stimulated to a larger degree than women are. This is a feature of brain structure, something that is the result of genetic programming and hormones in the womb. We need to remember that these things are ranges, not off and on absolutes. Obviously women are visually stimulated to some degree, its just that the nature of how that proceeds may vary from what a typical man would feel. I have a non-trans female friend who loves gay male porn. Interesting, lol.

The other part of this with regard to sex is common behaviors in society. A given culture will place varying restrictions on sexual behavior. In Western society, a woman who sleeps with a lot of men is considered a cheap commodity and undesirable. I think that plays a big part in some women's sexual decisions. Also, a lot of women need more than a general feeling of horniness to make the leap to sleeping with someone. There is a much higher social cost for a woman to engage in sex than a man, and this goes beyond the biological instincts associated with bearing children (though it may have it's roots there! Lots of confluence between social and physiological)

This is one area that I, as a 'trans'woman find myself agreeing with a lot of my non-trans friends. Once in awhile, it may be fun to have a fling but for real heat and passion there needs to be some kind of emotional stake in the sex. Maybe that's why women get accused of trying to have a relationship after sleeping with a guy once, lol. Gotta keep it interesting!

 

So, my question is: what attitude towards sexual relationships do transsexual people have? That of their born sex, or of their mental sex? Eh, it varies... sometimes I'm horny. However, I will not have sexual relations with someone whom I cannot imagine spending my life with.

Another question: most men are quite into looks. They get turned on by looking at women. Women are much more turned on by the psychological side of the relationship. Hence most porn is for men.

So, again, are transsexual people more like their born sex in this regard, or more like their mental sex? When I see a beautiful woman, I tend to think: she's gorgeous! When I see a hot butch, I tend to think: I wonder what hy tastes like. ^.^;; I still check out butches, even though I'm in a LTR, but I don't feel any real sexual tension around them now. Besides which: personality is what makes the relationship for me.

As I understand it, transwomen generally resent the male bodies they were born with. But in many cases — even when living fully as women, or having had HRT — they retain their penis. My question is: can a transwoman be genuinely happy to be a woman with a penis? Or is it just a matter of living with it, but feeling a part of you is still wrong? Or are there mixed feelings going on? At this point, I would think that I could live with it, but I would much rather be happy with my body... I wish I could find true happiness with being who I am with the body that I have, but that just doesn't seem to be the case...

 

Im FTM but not your "typical male stereotype" on the subject. I think it has more to do with how i was raised though.

 

Kind of an old question but up late with trans-(& other) issues on my mind, so here goes...

( btw, Hi everyone )

"For example, would a straight transwoman (male to female) have a typical female attitude towards sexual relations? Would she be quite reserved about her choice of sexual partners? Or would she be more like a typical man and, given the chance, be quite sexually active?"

At first I had the stereotypical “guy(sh)” attitude: I knew I couldn't get pregnant so I thought if I was reasonably careful otherwise it was open season. After some one nighters it struck me I hadn't thought things out very well at all and I was feeling empty and a bit used. At that point I became very reserved.

"Another question: most men are quite into looks. They get turned on by looking at women. Women are much more turned on by the psychological side of the relationship. Hence most porn is for men... So, again, are transsexual people more like their born sex in this regard, or more like their mental sex? For example, do transwomen generally like porn, or is it the transmen who like porn?"

I never liked porn, and that didn't change. One guy I went out with, however, had classic “leading man looks” and I couldn't help but be affected by that. But once you sit down with them, if there's nothing else it's really not enough to carry any interest.

"I also have a bonus question! As I understand it, transwomen generally resent the male bodies they were born with. But in many cases — even when living fully as women, or having had HRT — they retain their penis. My question is: can a transwoman be genuinely happy to be a woman with a penis? Or is it just a matter of living with it, but feeling a part of you is still wrong? Or are there mixed feelings going on?"

For me it's sort of like my Wisdom Teeth: I really hated the idea of anyone going in and messing with my body in any way regardless how it was really the best thing. And then one got infected and that was that as far as removal. And now my mouth feels better than ever.

So I'm really scared of the unknown and not anxious to roll the dice and crap out on that. But sometimes when I've gotten out of the shower and the mirror hasn't fogged, it's all I can do not to smash it sometimes. Hormones not withstanding.

 

I never liked porn, it just does nothing for me whatsoever. I am only human though, and of course i have sexual thoughts the same as anyone else. However, right from early puberty, anytime i thought of myself having sex, it was always as a woman with a female body. I may still have a male body, but my mind has always worked like a female's, so that's probably not too surprising.

No, i dont think so. If you know and feel in your head and your heart that you are a woman, how on earth could you be happy having a penis? To be honest, if i thought id never have a vagina, id just end it now. I dont think any person that is completely a woman in her own mind would be happy with a penis. Gay men who feminize their bodies for sexual pleasure are happy still having a penis, but that is totally different.

I have a few times almost cut my penis off, just the thought of the pain has stopped me. But i really loath it being there. And anyone who is in the same position as me would feel the same. So really, that question is a no brainer for people really trapped in the wrong body.

 

I'm a boy, with the mind of a girl =p Though I do have 'some' male fantasies... I could never ever act on them though. I'd never be able to sleep with someone without some real emotional meaning to it. It just wouldn't feel right.

 

I am a male,but I have the sexual mind of a woman.I am attracted to a person by their personality,not their face or body.I put on a "Straight Face" to most of the world out of fear of what will happen.My school is very conservative.As for your question about hating your genitallia,I do with all my might.I want to be rid of this curse!