Hello there, Im an 18 year old child. I've never had a relationship with a girl in my life, never. I look at these forums and see people have been in very long deep beautful relationships; i've always had girls I liked and would die for basically, but I was never man enough.. So at work, there is this cute girl. I was transplanting wheat plants from one pot to another, and Ive been working at USDA-cerial crop desease lab as an intern for about 2 months. I have not. I have not once have ever seen this girl...Holy crap lol, ive seen the same people right...but BAM! one second i see her from across the room, and my hands start shaking, my heart begins to beat like crazy as hell, i get super super clumsy as hell, and i almost faint basically. im not exagerating. my legs are shaky and i feel my heart jumping out of my chest. well we shared looks and glances about 10 times during the worl period where our eyes met each other directly. i dont know what to do man, im an 18 year old and i never had a girl freind how fucking sad is that right, so every girl that i have met said they had a boy freind. that kinda brings me down too. i also have major emotional problems and huge self confidence issues...thats also a freekin downer. i dont know man, she keeps on looking at me and staring at me and everytime she is around me i get this like tension. not a bad tension, but a tension where it feels like my legs are weak and im running out of breath, and i like her dammit...i feel so freekin love struck when im around her. i push these feelings away and call them fake and false. i ignore the feelings. my mom says i walk around like a hateful person with an evil face, but i dont know about that too, this girl keeps on looking at me. i dont know what to do... she said a couple words to me today.. how should i approach this, should i say "hi! my name is alex" and then I'll just get back to work? or should i say "yeah today has been slow" i dont know man. the thing i find about relationships is that girls will always find a guy in a split fucking second, while on the other hand ive been looking for a girl for the past 18 years, and every girl i meet they say "damn boy you are sexy as hell, you should be having all the girls in your life" i hear the same from my mom and her freinds..my best freind's step dad and everyone around him even say how much of an attractive male i am. so i know i aint ugly , so why cant i get a girl friend?
You could try talking to her and "hi" is a great place to start. As for people with long loving relationships....they didnt happen overnight. My husband and I are going on 9 years together and we have an incredible relationship. Want to hear about my divorce or other failed relationships? I had them, most people do. My brother was shy and didnt have his first real relationship until he was 20, so you are not alone. I would suggest taking it slow and let the relationship develop naturally. Don't expect the first one to be the "one." It may not be until the 3rd, 5th, 20th person you date, that you find the right person. Try dating different types of women and see what fits you best. My husband is not what I thought my "type" was, but I used to think my "type" was macho stud (translate to asshole). Hey, its 9 years later and I still think he is gorgeous, and his voice still melts me. Oh, learn to sing! If you are too shy to talk to someone but can sing....you will not be alone on a Friday night Good luck...it will happen, just give it time.
The good news is --- you can. The bad news is you can't. "Men were born to be orphaned. And to leave orphans behind him." - Saul Bellow I'm older than you, and I've had my share of relationships with women. BUT, I frequently feel as hopeless as you around women. Women also give me the old, you're-attractive-and-intelligent-so-watsamata? bit. It's easier to find sex. There is a couple tricks you can pull up. Relationships...there isn't much we can DO actually. Because no relationship will arise without the woman's active input. With sex, that's a different story. Women can passively fall into bed. But they can't passively foster a relationship. I'm sorry. BTW, NEVER deny your emotions! Never! If anything, I'd go up to the girl and tell her exactly how she makes you feel. In an informative, rather than pleading manner. If you get blown off, that's a good thing. Weathering that is an essential skill for males. You'll also eventually understand that getting blown off doesn't mean a damn thing. Women process reality very differently. They can blow you off and love you all the same. It's just how the universe works. My advice: 1) TAKE THE PLUNGE --- say whatever comes to mind...pass out if you have too...let your teeth chatter and your legs shake if you that's what you need to do...stutter too...that's ok. Women who like you, will also like your nervousness - trust me; 2) GET BLOWN OFF AS MUCH AS YOU CAN --- it means nothing;
first off, stop thinking of yourself as a child. youre 18. you can legally vote, join the army, drive, buy smokes, etc. hell, yoiu should be able to buy booze but thats a whole nother argument. 18 isnt a child anymore. hell, even 16 isnt a child, but a teenager secondly.. just go approach her. sheh works in the same place as you? just go up and say "hi im blahblah, im doing an internmship and was wondering if you have any tips for xxx" where xxx is an activity or a person you dont like or something, anything. make contact, be friendly. smile, face her, have eye contact, etc. dont overcrowd her, but dont stand 10 metres away, that sort of shindig
Well, you obviously think you're alone in this, but you're not . There are many 18 year-old males and females who still have not been in a relationship, have had their first kiss, ect. There are even people in their early twenties who have not yet had this. Looks have nothing to do with it, too. I can relate to you with how you feel around the opposite sex (I get the same exact feeling as you are describing). My face even turns beat red when I am around a guy I find attractive, and I feel like I will say something stupid at any moment if that person talks to me. The self confidence issues sound like they are the root of your problem. You are told you are a handsome man, right? You must be! People wouldn't be giving you those comments all the time if they were not true. I would try to work on that before you approach someone. Remember the good things about yourself that people tell you and notice them on your own, too. Ignore the negatives. Once you're feeling at least a little more confident, all you can do is just wing it and try to strike up a conversation. Talk about work first and go from there. Something that helps me is remembering everyone has their own faults and problems, and nobody is superior to me. That goes for you, too! As far as the shaky legs and all, breathe deeply before you talk to her and try to calm yourself as best you can. Once you start talking and see everything is ok, the shaky legs will stop (I know from experience).
man...you guys have been so helpful lol. man thank you so much! ahhhhh! i feel good ! ahaha! yes...well...i shall go and talk to this girl, or say something...just something... it will work out! maybe even a couple of words to her will make me feel good. thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have lost my wallet today, so im gonna go a replace my drivers license and credit card and U of M card tomorow..this sucks ass, my friend has bought a 6 pack of beer for me today for a party and my wallet is gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but yeah that was random comment...yeah i will go and talk to that girl! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
