Sick and tired of life.

Latley I have been so fed up with all of the bullshit that God, destiny, or life in general has handed me. I try, and try to keep things right ... to do the right things ... but it all fucking falls to the ground. I've been unemployed for over 3 months [not by choice] and no places are hirring me. I'm running out of options and if it wasn't for my strong spirit and love of life, I would have been dead days ago. I just wanna end this all ... if it's heaven, hell, or just an eternal sleep. I just can't take THIS life anymore. I WILL NOT KILL MYSELF.

I don't understand why all this shit has to happen to me now.

I used to be so happy and passionate about life, and now I just say fuck it to everything that comes my way. Why should I be hapyy and smile ... what good is a laugh? It wont get you anywhere. I couldnt even laugh if I was paid to do it right now. I haven't smiled in days.

Depression is a fucking bitch, especially when you dont have a job, and dont have insurance to go see a doctor who can [maybe] make things a little easier on you. FUCK!

I just wanna scream as loud as I can and then beat the living shit out of someone, or somthing. and that is sooo out of my character. I'm being eaten alive from the inside by an emotion I can't control.


PLEASE!!!!
Do not give me a pity party, I don't want that.

I just want this to be a place where people can share their expiriences with depression, and how it has affected their lives.

 

Get some control over your life, Join the military and see the world



H

 

It is hard to feel down when you are laughing, i wouldn't give up that activity just yet.

 

There is something i really don't like about some one recommending the military to some one who is depressed.

 

Fuck the military.

I'll laugh later. It would just break my spirit now.

 

Josh please. There are lots of people who love you. It takes a lot of courage to keep fighting against all kinds of stupid odds.

Try a temp service. The jocs suck, but they'll hire anyone with thumbs.

And you want to hear my experiences with depression? It's kinda a long story.

 

i think many of us here have had our bouts with depression and lots of the feelings you just wrote down.

i, just this past week had a breakdown, where everything was piled on me. it was finals week, massive amounts of work to do, me not being able to make a distinction between what was and wasn't reality, having the prospect of being charged with plagarism, etc...yet, i made it through this week in one piece. i'm still, deep down, me...i'm myself. what was thrown at me was tough, but i fought through. its a battle, its soemthing you just have to accept. tough times are going to happen, but eventually, with persistance, the sun will shine again...

 

If money is the main problem.. and you can't get employment then volunteer with a company that provides somewhere to live and spending money for your services... they're quite common.

 

i lost my job recently and the depression i felt got about 10x worse. so i packed a bag, caught a bus and now i'm 3000 miles away. i've met some good folks here and it's helped me to feel a lot better. can you get away from your everyday life for a while?

good luck & peace

 

when i was your age i had a nervous breakdown...
im not gonna get into the details but you can build a ladder out of sticks and stone...so you may pull yourself out of this hole...dont get me wrong its very hard...it took me a LONG time...but i can be done...because really, life is so worth living...and when you find yourself in a place of complete bliss again...you'll thank the gods for every minute...good or bad...and what you have learned along the way...trust me my friend...your gonna be ok...

 

You guys are so great.

 

But imagine what the military could do with someone who they could mold into anything they wanted – the ultimate super soldier


h

 

Things will get better. In the end, your 22, and a job is just something you'll hold down to afford all your slutting around town with babes. That is the life for you Josh, not this depression crap.

And believe me I empathize so deeply. I was contemplating killing myself last year at this time. It got to the extent I spent new years eve in the nut house. I took myself there so I would take care of myself.

I did the Thorazine and 2 mg of klonopin that night. Delicious. I also got declared president, which meant I rounded everyone up for groups and dinner, and led the groups.

President of crazy town!

But you're just letting a lot of shit convince you that you're not a bad ass.

Fuck that josh, slap yourself out of it, get a job, and slut on buddy. Slut on.

 

They tried that with gumby and jt didn't work

 

I seroulsy was thinking of taking myself to the nut house tonight ...

It's not that far from where I live.












On a side note, I might be able to get complety fucked up on some dope tonight, and that will most definitley bring a msile to my face.


Discalimer: I do not think drugs are the answer to any problems. I also do not think anyone should ever, in any situation do dope. I just don't care about myself right now, so it's ok.

 

If you get addicted I'll choke a bitch.

Be careful. My advice is not to. Either way, it isn't going to make anything better.

Only you can dig yourself out of this Josh, and you know junk isn't the way.

Take care of yourself buddy. People love you.

 

I wont get addicted.

I've been doing dope for maybe ... 5 months?

I just don't do it often enough to crave it. Most I ever did it was 3 times in one week, and even then ... I had no craving for it at all. I just wanted a beer. haha

 

Hang in there Josh. It's life's toughest times that define who we are... and without them we'd never grow as people.

 

Jesus had tough days. And he went on to have really cut abs.

Think about it.

 

I like baked goods