Wrote this after the hate-threats at Northern Illinois University

They say ‘home is where the hate is’​

Like a disease that’s so contagious,​

Consuming the world by a day-to-day basis.​

Like simply overlooking an epidemic.​

Quick! Someone call a paramedic!​

It’s happening all around you, O’ so clear.​

While most of us pretend it’s not there,​

The others of us wish, it would disappear.​

But problems just don’t vanish, they’re resolved.​

You’d think time would have fixed this, as we evolved.​

Instead, since birth we were conditioned to believe​

It’s human kind, this hatred shall never leave.​

Because of this, everyday a person must grieve?​

This just can’t be, there must be a solution,​

Peaceful and loving, a Conscious Revolution!​

Awakening the corruption of power. ​

Which resides in the white tower,​

Controlling and molding us every hour.​

Now’s the time to free your mind!​

Before freedom is too hard to find.​

No need to push or shove,​

To save this world, ‘All you need is love.’​

​

​

​

[What do you think?]​

 

I completely disagree.

But this could make a good rap song.

 

I'm not fond of the rhyme scheme, and I find the message a tad simplistic.

It's alright though.

 

I disagree, racism is a learned behavior.


Put a black, white, brown, and red baby into a sealed room. accelerate their rate of growth stopping at an average adult age of 20. without outside influence, they’ll treat each other as equals, until they’re taught how to respond to individual differences among the races


h

 

I'm pretty sure the red baby would be part demon and eat the others.

 

Well at the very least he might try to scalp them...a la Fort Apache


hotwater

 

Thanks, I'm not a writer...but I'm trying things out.
I love the first half, but I rushed and bullshitted the other half.

The rhyme scheme is kind of simple and boring but I couldn't think of anything else, I appreciate the criticism keep it coming, don't be afraid to hurt my feelings

 

works for me.

 

Subtlety is the key for me to enjoy poetry. The structure needs to be nuanced with allusions that will make the reader disect it and see a deeper meaning.

This is especially hard with rhyming poems, as the focus of the writer often becomes involved in the rhyme scheme.

The repeating couplet form is particularly obvious and dull.
It makes me want to climb in a hole.

You'll be alright. Stuff it with metaphor, try to alternate the rhyme scheme, and make it in stanza form.

Make sure it speaks deeply through you. Use the subtly to scream the message at your audience.

 

Well, yeah. Race is proven to be a social construct instead of a Biological one. Race doesn't even truly exist, it's just all that damn melanin.

I was just saying that I disagree with "all you need is love", the conclusion. I also think that the poem sounds like a rap song because of the rhyme scheme.

 

I agree that 'Racism' is adapted and not biological, as stated in the lines: Instead, since birth we were conditioned to believe its human kind, this hatred shall never leave. because of this, everyday a person must grieve?.....Stating that we as a society have had racism from the dawn of time, and that's it's about time to open our eyes to realize that there is only one race the human race, and that we need to free our minds away from the conditioned hate we all have since birth, because hatred is all around us everywhere!

 

that's got to be the funniest thing I've read all day. I was going to write something to this effect but you beat me to it.