Am I the only one who feels skeptical about the idea of "coming out?" The main argument that I know of, in favor of coming out, is that it increases the visibility of the queer community. Are there other reasons why coming out is recommended? Isn't the fact that people feel it necessary to come out only validating the idea that there's something weird or different about being queer? Straight and cisgendered people don't have to announce their sexual orientation and gender identity, so why should we? Personally, I don't think I'll feel the need to officially come out until heterosexual and cisgendered people start going home to their parents and saying "Mom, dad, I have something to tell you... I'm straight." I think I'd much rather mention it in passing, like it's no big deal... because really, it isn't a big deal (or at least, it shouldn't be). I'm sorry if I've offended anyone, or if I sound really ignorant... but the best way to learn is to ask questions, so... here I am. (Also, sorry if this question has been posted already, but I did search...)
of course you don't have to come out if you don't want to, but there are lots of people who DO want to. if you're in a homosexual relationship, you want to be able to let the world see it, just like if you were in a straight relationship, so it helps to give people around you a heads up that you are gay. but i agree with you that it really is not that big of a deal!! ..just a lot of prejudiced people think that it is...
So I'm supposed to let people know so they won't die of a heart attack if they see me with a girlfriend someday? I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I really don't understand that... If people are shocked or offended by gay couples, that's their problem, not mine. I admit that part of my problem with coming out is that I'm not sure of anything and that it would be probably so incredibly awkward to come out. But still... I don't want to come out just because heteronormative people think there's something strange about being queer.
Well if you know your parents or your really good friends are uncomfortable with gay people, you can't just say "oh that's they're problem", because you actually care about these people, and you want them in your life. you might want to have a conversation with them about it, just to clarify things for everyone. now you say you're uncomfortable with coming out, which is totally fine. if YOU don't want to come out, you never have to. but you might find that you DO want to eventually, when you have a really strong relationship with someone of the same sex who you want to be part of your family.
I get your point but I guess rule of majority kinda applies here. I am not saying you have to come out of your closet but most people assume everyone is straight.
Unless you get really lucky, it's much easier to find someone to date if you're out of the closet. That was the biggest reason for me to do so.
i completly understand ur point, but there are some cases where homosexual live in homophobic communities and have to hide there sexuality from the world and make everyone think there straight for there safety until they feel when the time is right to tell there families the truth. i think it all depend on the case, scenario and perosn.
I think that you owe it to yourself to come out. Any fear in it then I dont think you are truly comfortable with your position or statement as a proud gay member of society. If you had a disabled child, would you not bring him/her out to the mall to shop?
i think coming out has more to do with personal emotional needs. Its an identity of you, it IS you...and some people can't just sit back and feel like hiding. I know i can't...plus, I think it helps break down societies barriers of homophobia, people woudln't learn tolerance if gays didn't let others know
I'm sorry if I sound disrespectful or like I'm not listening, or something, because honestly, I am trying... I just don't get it. Yes, I am gay. But I am also a radical, vegan, feminist. All of those things are rare, at least where I live and where I go to school. Nonetheless, people would think I was really weird for turning any of those things into a big deal, or making it something that I have to "announce." Can you imagine if I were to go to my friends and say, "You guys, I have something important to tell you - I'm a vegan." If it comes up, I mention it, but if it doesn't, it's not like it's anything that should be a big deal. Maybe this is more of a rant against the heteronormative, homophobic societies that makes being queer seem OMGSOWEIRD! when it really isn't...
I see what you're saying- and I haven't made a point of coming out to many. I am VERY out but I just do not hide it But with some people, while yes, their attitude is their problem- they can make it your problem, too. For example if I just started holding hands with my girl in front of some of my co workers or certain members of my family, it might be a little much- the shock. Face it, that's just reality. And yes I did come out as a Vegan, and it freaked some people out (okay almost all- more than being gay, actually!) Yes people are uneducated- so IMO it's our duty to try, to make it a better place for future Vegans, gays, etc
That's exactly how I feel. My family and friends will know I'm bi when I bring home a special girl or guy. Just like parents and friends of a straight person. I'm open about it, but I if I mention it it is usually just in passing. If I think a chick is hot, I will say so. That makes it sort of obvious. My orientation is set to bi on myspace. I would say I'm out but quiet about it. I'm quiet about everything, straight relationships included.
A lot of people do feel the need to come out and say "I'm vegan." I made a point to tell my friends and family when I became a veggie because they aren't veggies and they aren't used to that lifestyle. So, while I kind of see your point that there is no real need to come out for some people, I have to disagree with the idea that it is always unnecessary, because in many cases, coming out is probably for the best.
You're not glbt, are you, StayLoose? So how does your opinion count in this thread? If people are open about their sexuality, they should not feel pressured to have a sit down with all their friends and family and be forced to "confess" their lifestyle. Just mention it in passing or show up with your S.O. They'll get the hint, and if you're not pushy or in their face about it, then everything will be fine. If someone asks you after being open: "um, are you gay or something?" Just be honest. "Being open" and "coming out" are two different things, but they are both effective. One is less demeaning than the other.
