All moms....well at least most moms have been at the place where ive been and i am hoping you guys can help me through this. I just had a baby 5months ago. I am losing weight slowly. I cant even undress in front of my boyfriend (reminding you: my boyfriend was in the room when i gave birth to our daughter). When we have sex i cant take my shirt off. I cant even get a shower with him. I just dont know how to lose the weight and get rid of the marks. 2nd i dont really have any mom friends because well one i am 17 and none of my friends have kids. Like they are there for me but they dont understand what all i am going through.
you've got the wrong attitude towards your body, hon. it just performed the miracle of producing a child and how are you showing your appreciation? hating it? no no no, those are your battle scars. you should be proud of them! hold your head high. you're a sexy mama and you should flaunt it!
I understand where you're comming from but like Lady of the Freaks said, you just had a baby. Your body is nothing to be ashamed of. Losing the weight can be difficult but with diet and exercize you can do it (I don't recomend dieting until after you're done breastfeeding if you're doing that. Not good for your milk). Yoga helped me a lot and so did eating healthy. I managed to get thin after having my second child from that (though I've gained again. sheesh) NEVER be ashamed of your body. I'm sure your boyfriend loves you no matter what (afterall he's still with you right?) *hugs* You'll be fine. Enjoy your baby and the miracle that your body performed!
I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm 23, and I had my 2 daughters within 2 years! Oh, how I yearn for my pre-baby body! But I've accepted that it ain't gonna look the same. My hips are wider, and my tummy needs extra workout time, and don't even get me started on my boobs after breastfeeding one baby and then the other for a total of almost 3 years!! My advice is along the same lines as amethystrse's - you've just gotta take it slow, eat right (but don't diet if breastfeeding), keep moving, and realize that everyone who's had a baby has been in your position. Stretch marks will fade to silver over time, but they won't go away completely. While they aren't pretty, they are a testament to the incredible things your body can do! I was definitely not happy with my body right afterwards (I'm still not, lol!!) but my husband's attitude kept me from obsessing about it. Every time I felt down about it, he was quick to let me know how sexy he still thought I was. Even more so than before, he said, because I'm the mother of his children! Your attitude is your biggest obstacle - once you've got that going in the right direction, everything will fall into place! *hugs* ~*BeccaAnn*~
there is a website for mommas to show their post-baby bodies and talk about it. It's called theshapeofamother.com A very cathartic place. I know you're young, and all of your friends probably still have their maiden bodies. And it's hard to be different. It's hard to accept your momma-body when the media yells that we are all to be young, thin, trim, and flaunt our bodies. And you've still got a baby pooch, and stretch marks. Ya know what? You made a BABY! I'd take that anyday!
thanks you guys for all the help. it is hard being different from my friends right now but your guys advice has made me relaize that i shouldnt be embrassed about my body and that i should love it because it just helped me create the best thing in my life. thanks
everyone else had awesome advice! it's not realistic to expect your body to go back to normal so fast....well, it'll never be the same, really. But it takes 2 years for your body to recover from a birth of a baby anyway! After I had my daughter, I tired to remind myself what my body just did, and that it is so much more important than looking good naked. As for getting nake infront of your boyfriend...he needs to appreciate what your body just did. My hubby loves my body because it made his kids, his exact words are, "how could he not love it?" Your bf should have the same attituide!
I'm going to tell you a story about a young woman who's pregnancy and birth I attended. She was 18, first baby, one of those slim, gorgeous, model types. I mean, this woman was stunning, and it was obvious she took great pride in her looks. Anyway, she gained about 40 pounds during her pregnancy, which was a lot for her slim build. She would frown a little when I recorded her weight, but didn't really say anything. She goes into labour, and about 8 hours, has a wonderful 8 pound boy. She nurses, she gets up to pee, she nurses again, baby finally goes to sleep and she decides to take a shower. After she showers, I help her get her panties and pad on, and walk her back to the bed. She stops in front of the full length mirror, drops her towel, and stands there looking at herself. She rubs her hands over her post-partum baby-belly, strokes her stretch marks, turns around, check out her widened bottom and thicker thighs. She raises her arms and looks at her larger boobs, and drops her arms and checks out her breasts again. She's not saying anything, just looking real serious like, as she twists and turns in front of the mirror, checking her new body out. I'm just getting ready to offer her comforting words about giving herself time to lose the weight and breastfeeding and walking will get her back to her pre-pregnancy size, when she suddenly smiles the biggest, brightest smile I've ever seen. She gazes at her own image in the mirror, and says with so much pride my eyes filled with tears.... "I've got my WOMAN's body now!" How I wish we could all take such pride in what is rightfully ours; pride in being a mother, pride in our changing, wonderful, life-giving and life-sustaining bodies. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we should see how amazing and strong our bodies are, how perfectly they work. We should be able to look at our round bellies and leaking breasts and wide hips and recognize the Mother Goddess manifested in ourselves. How just a short time ago, we were filled till near-bursting with the creation of our life and love, and just when we thought we couldn't possibly grow and stretch and carry no longer, we powerfully and with strength and joy release the new soul from our bodies and into the world. We clasp that new little life to our breasts, where we nourish and nurture and protect. We need to reclaim that which is ours, and take pride and joy from it.
Hi its Teri I just wanted to tell you my step sister whom is 19 just had a baby 1 yr ago, while my other step sister had a baby 1.5 years ago. when my youngest step sister had a baby she was paper thin and my oldest sister was short and VERY thin not anorexic thats just how she carried her body. Well My oldest sister lost all her baby weight and my youngest well,,, lets just say she gained a few extra. They both were a size 1-2 and Krys got Wider hips and bum. Never ever be ashamed of how you look. Because what the sociey around us MAKES us think is bullshit . its what we truly believe about ourselves. Right??
I've described my stretchmarks somewhere on this site before. Because of a genetic disorder, to quote my OB doctor "Those are the WORST stretchmarks I've seen in 34 years of practice!" After hearing that, it took nearly a decade to see them as anything other than scary & ugly. There is a picture of my belly-marks at Shape-Of-A-Mother here: http://theshapeofamother.com/2006/07/homeschoolmama.php Sometimes it takes awhile to realize that stretchmarks, bigger hips, saggier breasts... all of those "mama trademarks" are an okay thing. When I see myself in the mirror now, instead of cringing at all of the stretchmarks & saggy bits I see the lines my children "drew" on me, while growing within. They're not ugly or scary anymore... I'm a masterpiece love, mom
one of my ideas is that for a while after you have a baby your kind of busy slipping into the role of mom, you can still be a sex godess : ) but it isnt all that defines you anymore. Having a hot bod is not what should be expected of you. i know its harder when your young, but give yourself a break, hopefully your boyfriend still shows you that he thinks your beautiful, for me thats all that matters. your not trying to hook a new man right? lol love your maternal body its a new phase of its development. and as far as stretch marks, girl those are battle scars!!!! wear them proudly!!!!!!!! message me if u want a friend : )
