So what happend after...?

I cant really say that anything in me changed drastically after my bad trips. I dont know, I guess some people will say there is no such thing as a bad trip, and on the surface they are correct when it comes to people who can handle the 'too much' and channel it into positivity. But when you look at a bad trip for what it is, there is most definitley a negation of positivity which occurs and it shakes a person to the core. Depression, obsession, fear, anguish, all of these sorts of mentalities are subjective and can be overcome, but the only way you can turn off a bad trip while it's running it's full course is through medication, or being knocked out lol. Bad trips, of which I have had many, never truly affected me for any time period longer than the duration of the trip itself. One can look to the past and view a bad trip in the light of positivity and they would be correct, if this is how they wish to view it. But there is no denying that during your adventure into the abyss of insanity, most people will feel a certain amount of fear and anguish, fear of the external unknownn, and anguish of the internal unknown.
I, however, am one of those persistant people who refuses to let a frightening experience such as a bad trip turn me off to the potential benefits lying dormant in the chemicals which can cause them. You have to realize that everything you ask in life has the potential to answer both positivley and negativley. Mother Nature, the essence of which our material existance is born out of, is essentialy pain and pleasure, dark and light, bad and good. Thus, so is everything produced from Her. Mushrooms are a way of breaking out of that cycle at certain points because of the (provided willinglness of the participator) potential to become accepting, and with the ability to remain calm and still, not attempting to affect your enviorment in either way.
Personally, I am like an idiot who puts a key in an electric socket for fun and does so repeatedly for whatever reasons. This is how psychedelics are for me, and those who know me will testify to that reality. I am basically never affected negativley by psychedelics, even the bad trips, I enjoy (though I may be experiencing hell and fear on the inside, I am able to laugh at my own fear and can find the pleasure in the pain, if that makes any sense)
I've never been so horrifyed by a trip as to prevent me from trying again, and for a period this very year I was eating magic mushrooms almost every other day as if it was marijuana, just tuning in and getting high constantly. Even if I had a painful, overwhelming trip on Wedensday night, nothing was stopping me from downing another eighth on Friday night! Really like an electrical socket, maybe I am an idiot for being this way, but I pretty much thrive on psychedelics, especially magic mushrooms, when they are in my possesion. Save tomorrow for tomorrow, today is fun day

 

hahaha, I love it
I was thinking of bad trips on Sunday and I came to the conclusion that they are like crossing a long dark tunnel, you want to get to the other side, but you are also afraid of the dark.

 

You can also compare it to Bungee jump! Here on Victoria Falls, there is one of the biggest bungees in the world (it was the biggest for a loong time) 310 m high. You see, you got very different persons and they react differently. You can see somebody who is deathly afraid before during and after the jump, and they don't want to try it again. You got people who are scared before and during the jump, but like the feeling that they survived and they would like to jump again. You got people scared before, but when the jump starts, they start enoying it and love it after the jump and obviously they want it again. Only those ones who did it a lots of times are not afraid before, enjoy fully the jump and they are sorry that it is over after. I am kind of person that was not scared even before the first jump (felt a bit unconforbale, but not scared), studied every single little thing that you feel during the jump, and enjoyed fully excitment after it. Every other jump(trip) I enjoyed fully and not even one little thing was scary or unconfortable. I again have to say that I never had a bad trip, as my all bungees were enjoyable, not even one was bad. But, as you Relayer said, thats just how we are, every single person is masterpeace for itself and there is only one of a kind.

 

you know this thread, is better than attending a psychologiist. some amazing perspectives. and i think as the days go by, now wednesday night, i tripped on fri, im startiing to feel better, and startin to put things in perspective, and i think im lucky, i dont think it will change me to much, other than just a shake up, and a bit of a wake up call. i think i would still take psychadelics again, and other drugs, ofcourse now with alot more care, and alot more responsibility.

i would have anti-psychotics on call to end a bad trip tho, even tho im sure alot of you's have the perspective that if you gonna take a trip, you should handle it and stick with no matter what, but after that, and if you had a really bad lsd trip just looking at that clock in that much terror, youd wish you had those fucking pills. just think of the torment youd save on your psych. or a dose of valium of like 15-20 pills, knock yourself right out, and youd never remember a thing after that, iv done 18 valium and im sure it would do the trick of saving mental anguish not only in the trip, but months after aswell.

the one thing iv noticed is my memory is off like its never been before. at work talkin to people, im workin drinks with one guy, and im gettin him confused with other guys, and sayin things over, and then just talkin to him and having conversations with him, then litteraly 3 minits later after walking down the corridor to check drinks, im like, who is this guy, "was i just talkin to you'. have you been workin drinks with me this last hour? so confusing.

but all in all. some amazing perspectives from you guys. and truelly what yous are tellin me now, are gonna imprint into my mind, help me 'recover' and im sure ill never forget these forums.
if a tripper has problems, deffinatly seek another tripper for advice, if you were to seek a psychiatrist, they would just put you on anti-psychotics, and could never give the adice that you's have given me. so for that i am insanly gratfull. thanks.

i think i do have a fairly strong mind, and i think things should be ok.

i figured out that during the bad trip, my mind created somthing to handle the bad trip, a special mechanism, in fact i could see it in my mind happening.
the mind has its ways of handling such things, it took a few days, it may take a few more weeks, but i rekon ill be sweet. such a better positive attitude now huh. yipii.
just workin thro a few things.

 

Relayer, I think I know how you feel. I was going through a bummer awhile back while hanging with Stayloose and some other friends. It was weird because at one point my mind had created the most hellish experience, with no way out in sight, and yet I could still feel the pleasures of music in my very core, and my body was completely relaxed and thoroughly enjoying the soft couch I was laying on. I was also capable of talking with my friends because one small part of me knew they weren't REALLY out to get me, though my brain did it's damnedest to convince me otherwise.

This is in stark contrast to the first bad trip I had awhile back where I was experiencing absolute terror, in the middle of Central Park in NYC. There was a lot of confused and frightened psychic energy there and I think it may be what took my trip in that direction. I had the distinct feeling that the streets would claim me and I would become homeless too.

But I'm getting better and better at accepting and handling just about any experience, and I owe that new strength to psychedelics.

I do think that I'll have my next trip alone in the wilderness. I need a break from tripping with others around. I want a calm and relaxing trip, surrounding by wildlife, but I may have to wait until spring. The cold makes me want to retreat into myself. It always has.

 

Well Im not going to lie, out of the hundreds of trips I've taken (I cant even really consider them to be trips anymore, more like just 'turning on' lol) there have been a few which had me clutching myself in horror and agony. Then there are the overwhelming trips which I just existed neutral style through. But in all honesty, even the agonizing trips, they dont 'actually' bother me. When I was 15 I remember a certain mushroom trip that I thought I also was going to grow up to be homeless and a failure, and maybe that's still true, there is no way to know. But you just have to see the bigger picture, this life truly, in every way, does not matter. It is not all you are and there is more to come. Problems? They are not really problems. They are temporary occurences, in which you are placed for a determined amount of time. Nothing really defines you because you are not really YOU, you are a soul. I dont know, I have never been really bothered by even the most horrible trips. In fact I laugh at them. Heartily. How much your mind can handle is going to vary from person to person. I guess you could say I have grown nearly immune to any kind of mental pain. Physical? That only lasts as long as it's able. But if you let mental pain dig into you it can last a lifetime.

 

And you remember when we physically 'died' on mushrooms, how much it hurt physically? Not to mention mentally lol. That was probably the moment when I was most tested as a human being in my entire life. But we came out of it and where fine. I remember though, for about 30 minutes I couldnt stop envisioning the future, literally watching the results of every action I was to commit, and finding myself unable to prevent myself from following through my visions. Talk about absolutley f**king strange. I believe that was the moment when I realized that we most definitley are determined beings, and life, on the macrocosmic and microcosmic scale, is designed perfectly, exactly, and beautifully. And did we not eat more shrooms like a few days later? haha

 

Pete, you're gonna be just fine. Give it time. I feel better now than I did a few weeks ago. You adjust, and the confidence comes back to the point where you just don't care how people view you. It gets better day by day, week by week. You'll might be surprised 3 months from now when you read this thread and wonder how you were ever worried.

I think in some way, almost everyone who's had a bad trip and has been there feels you. Your luck thins, relationships become difficult. You seem to be losing power at the time. But it's just how it seems. Your mind is incredibly powerful, beyond the scope of what I can illustrate with my words.

If you have to get away from people to feel dignified, find a way to do so. Do what it takes to be comfortable and to get by in the present, because you deserve it, but relax and realize that it does get better and better.

 

Astral traveler
Leaving without her
Wondering where lights go
Leave out the body load

Trust me, as far as psychological occurences go, being alone, especially in the woods, is going to be FAR more intense than when you trip around friends. Other people tend to distract your attention from what your heart is trying to tell you.
Good luck and happy trails -

 

Yeah , I mean it was bad while it was happening, but it was also amazing. I dont even think of it as a "bad" trip. Intense, yes, very, but not bad, I mean, right after our come down, that we sat down on the couch to talk about what happened, I could see we were both enjoying the painful strangeness of it, even if it wasnt enjoyable at all.

 

Yea well, that's what we get for eating mushrooms that came from the Bloodhound Gang :tongue: You know right there that your in for trouble

 

hahaha... right! I forgot about that.
That is something I thought I would never do, I mean eating mushrooms from the Bloodhound Gang. It sure is a world full of possibilities

 

i cant beleive im mentioning this, but do you think takin a couple e's this weekend would be a really bad idea, more than usual. just were goin clubbin and im takin this hot chick with me and were gonna both pill. i think it could go one of two ways. one being that i could take the pills, have good time, have a shit few days after, and forget even more the 'week' i had with shrooms. or option two, i take those 2-4 pills, i freak out like im bad trippin again, and i land myself more fucked up.

i remember smoking weed a week after my overwhelming lsd trip, and i left my friends and crouched in the bathroom shakin for 45 minits,felt like i had no grip, couldnt see straight, went completly pale, and couldnt walk properly.

but oh well. mentioning that means i must be ok.
just this chick is gorgous and we work together and have been slowly gettin closer and closer, and she takes drugs to. so it should be good.

but oh yeah! does anyone know much about saliva drug testing.
they brought that out just last week in my state, and if you get pulled up get breathalised and your clean, then you swab you if you look about my age and look dodgy. instant loss of lisence and 1000 dollar fine.
sucks cause driving on drugs was good.
any ways of passing that stuff?

 

o man.. please dont drive while using drugs. it is up to you about the e, but i suggest never using drugs which arent hallucinogenic.

 

Once again, I say nobody knows that better than you. You create your own reality, if you know what I meen. So,if you feel like doing all that, go for gold my boy! But if you have some doubts and you are nervous because of that, don't force yourself into something that you don't feel like doing. I am sure that that girl would completely understand if you explain to her nicely(like you did to us) why you don't want to take some now. Question is, do YOU really feel like taking some, or you want to take because she wants to do it with you? Whatever you decide, please don't lie to yourself, that is the worst thing to do! If you lie others, they might not find out (but you will still feel like shit), but if you lie to yourself, then you will KNOW that you are not just peace of shit, that you are the biggest shit in the world! And all of that can put you back in the situation from the begining of this thread.
Hope this helps!

 

ended up just gettin 1 pill off a friend.
it was ok. we drank shit loads and when the pill wore off n was in the cab on the way home, i was only cabable of jumbled words of murmur. bar tenders were like "your fucked ay" and smiling. haha ok for 1 i guess.

but the most amazing bit was the dream i had last night.
it was the firt lucid dream iv ever had. it was sooo real when i was dreaming it, and i had concous thoughts and conversations with real personalities and i can even remember the detail of conversations. it was all very perculiar. but this midget looking chick ran up to me, i was walking down the street in the dark, and said somthing about the "pubic quest". and i had realised i was on this quest.
i remember sitting having dinner with these people i had met in the street, and i was sifting my hands thro my hair, and then my hair stretched out and onto the table (i have short hair), then suddenly their was this very strange hat on my head with a feather, and i threw it over to this chick on the other side of the table, i put my hands in my hair again, and the hat was their again. but it was all in such a comedic way, there was a gentlman to the right of me, and it was all just so amazing.
i actually saw real faces, none of this black faces shit. real faces of people, details so real. i mean i realised i was dreaming, but the dream felt as real as real can be, even tho i knew i was dreaming. what if just typing now, suddenly i 'realised' i was dreaming. but your not, see how confsued one could get with this.
im not sure how much meaning this 'pubic quest' has, from this short midget looking lady, think she had a beard, just reall weird shit. very interesting. very exicting, i look forward to more of these dreams i hope to fuck.

maybe there was somthing in that E pill that triggered it, i dont know.
what yous rekon.

 

i 'rekon' that you are going through a time in your life when you have to be high or drinking every weekend. in a desperate search of something or someone you might as well be intoxicated the entire time. please forgive my tone as i am only being my honest self after going though the exact same thing. i try to warn you again and again but of course you dont listen and i dont blame you. i had to learn for myself too, i never listened to the people who tried to help me out by telling me that i am doing too much too often. my brother actually turned some casual pot luck at his house into an intervention with all my 'responsible' friends. at the time i was doing lots of LSD and mdma every weekend and smoking pot all day every day. i told them that only i know when enough is enough and that because most of the people in the room are scared of LSD i shouldnt listen to them anyways. it was only a couple of months later that i reached my fill of LSD. too much L in a short period of time and my head wouldnt take it anymore - i had excruciatingly painful headaches every day for over a year! i had to go on some special pain killers that help you sleep just to cope. that is when i started doing mdma or getting drunk every weekend. all i can say about that is the mdma doesnt work like it used to and i dont remember anything from that time in my life (all very blury). i remember the time i was doing lots of LSD but not when i was drinking and rolling. i dont mean to be a grumpy parental figure - i just cant help feeling the need to share with you what i have learned. there will always be people out there who have walked a similar path before you that can share what they learned so that you dont have to make the same mistakes. i realize that you might have to learn for yourself like i did. people tried to warn me too - i wish i had of listened. of course there are people who think i shouldnt be tripping at all and i will never listen to them. i am talking about the fellow trippers that were a few years older than i was trying to warn me of the dangers of excessive drug use.

you have no idea how what you do now will effect who you are 10 years from now. or maybe you do. the sooner that you learn that moderation is key the better off you will be in the long run. i can see where you are going and i wish i could say something in some way that would have you see it as clear as i do. at least i tried...

in my experience LSD and other drugs were better when i was older. i found that my trips got better as i matured. tripping on LSD when i was 18 was nothing compared to tripping when i was 23 and they are even better now. i dont want to see you doing so much that you dont trip when you are older - you would be missing out on so much. i think that you should space out your trips (including e) now so that you can continue a healthy drug habit well into your 40s. if you keep going in the way you are you will burn out before you are 21.

 

I guess I have to agree with 3xi, in this case. I'm not going to assume that you are the path he speaks of, but it could be possible. I mean I only got into virtually all this not even FIVE months ago, and I am more educated and experienced in drugs than I ever been, through internet research ofcourse. I use to be experienced in the knowledge of drugs in the path propaganda has to offer; I assumed myself as one of the kids who remembered what society had to offer on the knowledge of harmful drugs, before it was too late (again, which I used to believe true, and kinda-is in a way, drugs are drugs, physically harmful or not).

Seriously, when you are caught up in LSD, that shit can burn you out quick. Even by just waiting for the 'tolerance' to go down every 4-5 days can screw you over. Especially if you are smoking weed and doing other things between them two dates. Then it just becomes a matter of making yourself believe things that aren't entirely true. Since you space out your harder drugs the way they should be, you start doing the 'lighter' drugs at a pace that is often too heavy. I'm not trying to prove that I know this is what you are doing or anything, but it definitely was what I had got myself into at the time I first started using this stuff (like it was a miracle). And hey, what may be a hard drug to somebody else, may be a light drug to another. Point is, when you aren't doing this shit on rare spur-of-the-moment occasions, problems arrise. It definitely did for me, and I'm glad I kinda sorta fixed it before it became a problem too fast. I was taking trips left and right, and smoking pot + drinking like it was going out of style.

Idk, when it comes to the point where you can't chill out and have fun with people on more sober topics, things can get crummy and life gets boring quick. But damn is it fun, lol. Just remember how it all began and think of it now. Life was just a sober life, with it's ups and downs (which weren't by drugs). And then maybe every now and then there was the getting high, and then the want of something new to try thats 'safe', like tripping. Then maybe now, if you look at it, you see you are doing things a lot more frequently and not even bothering with any sober aspects of living, like education, mostly. Just try and smarten up your routine, before the use of drugs becomes a problem, and not just any specific drug. I think drug-use in general, (can) cause issues, esp. on the outlooks and goals in life.

But then again nobody needs stereotypical/cliche "good life" routine, but don't make yourself incapable of achieving it. Anyway, all the luck. The point of this post, was simply to say it kind of happened to me and I realized quickly where it was going if I continued. I kind of picked up on how I was telling myself shit was, and decided to be more logical about it. I mean waking up one day, and then realizing it's been years later and you haven't really gone anywhere, probably sucks, don't let it happen to you. Or maybe waking up years later, and realize that all of your efforts which have been made in the previous years, leave you suddenly nothing that isn't abstract to stand on.. It would definitely suck. Unless what you have gained in an abstract sense is magnificant.. but then ofcourse you wouldn't be doing drugs as much.

 

i apreciate your concerns and im thankfull for you's adice, however their is no 'but', because i agree. whilst i have done alot of drugs just about every weekend for the last dont know even how many months its been, taking that E on the weekend, with the 'new perspectice' i had from the shroom trip the week before, iv realised most deffinatly i dont want to do all this shit. taking drugs on the weekend, then feelling shit all week, thinking "oh, tomorrow ill feel a bit better, then tomrow ill be a bit better, then the weekend comes and you finally start feeling better, and you go take more drugs, and round you go again.
not only that its the way some people view me, as just a 'drugo'. some of the girls, even some of the girls that 'seem to be my friends', i can just tell. theres also other people who just dont like me cause of drugs.
anyway, i want a girlfriend. and taking drugs makes it hard to find one. unless they take drugs themselves.
i just want to feel myself again, not feel tired and shit all week, and be happy. so theres one way to do that, not take drugs. alchole can be very fun, and social, and thats the way it will be. i had a sort of realisation yesterday, deleted all the shit on myspace. think everything will change. just hope it doesnt come weekend, and my friends are like got some pills man.

 

I could tell you a long drawn out story about how bad I fucked up, instead I will leave it at this:

dont fuck up