How religion and the world really started!

My friend and I made this up when we were insanely baked earlier.

Once upon a time, Adam and Eve were in search for some FIRE ASS SHIT!!! The environment grew only shitty ass plants that wasn't even worth 2 cents a pound. So god has the Garden of Weeden, and the Field of Dank Dreams. God forbidden Adam and Eve from smoking the Golden Bud, which was by far the best cannabis in the universe. So one day Adam just got laid by Eve, and they were in search of bud but they didn't want to smoke any of the crappy 2 cent's a pound shit. They looked up and saw a golden light in the sky and they soon realized what they were looking at was sn enourmous bud and they both said in syncronization "Hail Mary". They then traveled through the Dank Field of Dreams, to the biggest marijuana plant they have ever seen and climbed to the golden bud. They packed god's holy bong that only god had ever smoked out of, with the golden bud... They each took one huge rip and the world started to fall to pieces before their eyes. They fell through the ground and god was pissed and created Satan. Satan was tripping off the world's best grown shrooms, and started blasting magnificient sounds, thus, creating DEATH METAL. Adam and Eve and even the devil were in a place they never though achieveable and all of their worlds shattered apart in front of their very eyes and that is how the real world started.

 

Here's my take.

I don't believe in any creation story although I believe that each one has its own merit and see them as more as symbolism.

I think Homo sapiens co-evolved with Cannabis. Kind of like other flowers co evolved with different types of insects to take advantage of them for pollination. I mean think about it, we have Cannabinoid receptors in our brains that take in the THC. I do not think its pure coincidence that THC perfectly fits in there and matches stuff our body already produces with little to no bad side effects. We co-evolved with Cannabis to be the pollinators of the plant man. The more we smoke the more we grow, the more we grow the more diverse the species gets, look at all the new strains popping up and how cannabis is now grown all over the world, its very beneficial to the plant.

 

beautiful! they don't teach that in school.
personally, i believe in evolution, with divine inspiration.

 

woaaaah maaan
baked, it makes SO MUCH SENSE

 

now thats very well said and something that i never thought about in that way before. i also think that religion is a bunch of crap that "gods" made up to get people to follow them. evolution is way more plausable then god creating every living thing on the planetor some would say universe. i mean come on theres probably life forms that have a better understanding of the universe but are they a GOD? like you said each creation story had a purpose and that purpose was to unite people to follow a specific religion.

 

ah and i thought religions forced you into believing them for the good of all that is Holy and right... =(
God's another crutch that help you be less afraid of life and death. and used as the bridge to the ultimate unknown questions such as; Why are we here? Where did we come from? and Where will we go?

 

What about anal sex.
The Male g-spot can only be reacehed through the anus.
Do you think its natural and we are ment to have anal sex?

Its interesting what you said about cannabinoid receptors, but I do think it is co-incedence, or they must serve some other purpose, possibly in the past.
For example the apendix (I think) or some other part of your body was origonaly used to help digest grass and other plants that we ate when we were primeapes, but since we dont eat those foods anymore we are slowly loosing that body part.

To the origonal poster. I like the bit about satan creating death metal

 

i Like it

 

And atheism is another crutch to help you feel less controlled, right? Or would that also be over generalizing?

 

everything was cool except the lame death metal part.

 

yea in a way. athiests like to think they know what their talking about, and vice versa with religious people. they can debate for centeries(which they have) and my opinion, none of them are right, or ever will be. unless god himself comes to earth to take all his following people to heaven with him(Christianity).

and i realize im talking from a mainstream religion point-of-view. i have no knowledge on most of them, and sorry if i offended you Relayer.
im not athiest, really...i like agnostic better.

its just the same spiral of life, and i'm trying to Dance with the One.

 

40oz man you didnt offend me! I know what you meant and where you were coming from.
I reread my post any I realize now that I sound pretty arrogant and defensive. I didnt mean to come off like that, because when your talking about the majority of people who consider themselves to be part of an organized religion, you are right. God becomes an excuse -

 

defiantly man, my first post sounded pretty arrogant too. the internet isn't very good for emotion.

 

I dont think Anal sex is un-natural, if it was then it wouldnt be practiced among other species in the animal kingdom. It's all about personal preference. I'd rather not have anything up my ass, I get along fine with penis ejaculation as my means of orgasm.

I still stand by my argument that we co-evolved with Cannabis tho, it just seems like it all fits.

 

^ Well doesn't everything seem to fit into religion. We are more advanced than other creatures on the planet. It seems that other things were created for us. Wouldn't it make sense that god placed us here and that all things were made for us. I'm not saying I believe in God. I'm just saying everything fits, almost like it was made to fit that way.

 

Religion is a lot like anal sex... if you were forced to like it as a kid.. you hate it as an adult

 

Christianity is a rip off of greek mythology

 

I see your logic to a certain extent, as this is the mindset of most of the followers of Judeo/Christian/Islam religions. This is what gave Europeans their "right" to plow right through American from one side to the other with disregard to the Natives and the plants and animals, but I disagree with this view point completly.

I do not believe that a god placed us here to begin with. Especially placing us above animals and above everything else with the almighty control over them. We share 98%(give or take a few) of our DNA with Chimpanzees. We have vestigial organs that show signs of past evolution divergence, the appendix(sp?), muscles in our ears, remnants of the third eyelid, for example. Our bodies are covered in hair just like most other mammals(although most of it is fine and white and can't be seen).

We evolved intelligence to cope with a super changing environment. The world was headed into an Ice Age, we needed something to give us an edge because we were weak, our infants were especially weak so the ones with the greatest wit survived to pass on their genes. This happened over and over and as smarter people outlived the others intelligence became our staple. With this new intelligence humans could find time to "think" something other animals had never done before. With thinking and wondering why things are they way they are, we begin to try and figure out whats going on around us. There are these strange pin points of light in the sky--Stars became mystical. And why does this giant orb of light come up every morning? The answers to these question gave rise to the first animistic religions. As people became more specialized and more intelligent the first gods came around. People began to fight over who had the better god(s) and one group of a particular God's priests came out on top and the rest is history as they wrote it.

Now, the big question is am I an atheist? Hell no.
Christian? Nope
Thats the big shocker isn't it? lol

 

^^ Wow... I am so totally baked, and that made 100% sence. Wow. that's all I gotta say, lol.

 

hahaha that was good