i dont know if anyone has ever had this problem before, but as a guy i really shouldn't be admitting this. there is this girl and she is very sexy and she knows that she is sexy, she flaunts it around all the time. anyways she invites me around and when i enter the door she kisses me, but here is the wierd part before we became friends she told me that she was looking for a friend that she could trust and admitted that we would only be friends. now shes all over me and we have been together a couple of times. i want to ask her out because unlike the stereotypical guy i actually like commitment and i sometimes wonder whether she is using me for sex. i don't want to ruin the friendship but on the other hand if she doesn't want to go out with me then i don't want to have sex with her. i am appealling to the girls in the forum, can you tell me what she wants and why this girl is going back on what she said.
You gotta just ask her, she may be using your for sex or thinking you are enjoying the benefits without the hassle, but if you don't like it (go figure) tell her how you feel and see where she's coming from.
indeed, that actually seems to be the right answer for a surprisingly large amount of threads started in htis forum.
ok, i took your advise and waited till we were eating dinner the other night and asked her out. she then told me that she needed a couple of days to figure out how she feeled about me. what does that mean? she then told me that she didn't think that this was going to happen and that both her and i knew that it wasn't suppost to go that far, but she still has to think about her feelings towards me. Can you tell me what that all means because i am stranded here waiting for her to save me or leave me out to die. Can you help? someone give me some perspectives on what is happening, am i dreaming or does it look like she doesn't want to go out with me? she did also say that i was very cute?! what is that about is that a compliment?
well she didnt say no flat out did she? then you said you didnt think she would say yes which would give her the perfect oppotunity to express her sentiments if thats the way she felt...she didnt take that opportunity so that means she actually is thinking about how she feels. so from what i can tell its not a diffinate no....
TBH, I don't know what's going on between you two, no idea what history you have or anything like that. All I can say is that it takes TWO to tango. Tell her that you want to stop having sex with her if she does not go out with you (tell her how you feel, etc..). If she does not agree, just stop having sex. It's as simple as that (OK, maybe not, but exercise your will power, you'll do it no doubt). You never know, maybe removing the sex might help her realise her true feelings for you. Whatever they may be.
I've been down the "Friends With Benefits" road, I don't think it works. I think you either have to be a couple or just friends. The friends who have no-strings sex thing is very rarely going to work out well for both parties, inevitably one person will always want more. I agree with Dan, if it was me, I'd call a halt to the sex. P.S. I'm now in a relationship and living with my Friend With Benefits!!! So don't give up hope!
Simple: she's trying to spare your feelings. If she really was interested in you in that kind of way, she'd jump at the chance to date you, right? Saying you're cute, but she doesn't want to go out with you is just a variation of the "It's not you, it's me line."
i found out last night that my friends best friend thinks that i am cute and that she would want to go out with me, but i still dont know what is happening with my friend. oh this is too confusing, lets just say that the original friends name is Amanda and her best friends name is Liz. ok, so now i am really confused because if i go out with her best friend and dont wait for her response then it will look like i didn't really want to go out with her in the first place, or is it a case of too little, too late. i dont want to lose the friendship but if it is only about us having sex then i am not interested in that sort of friendship. then there is the third option i could go out with liz and still wait for Amanda's response but then aren't i leading Liz on. i mean she thinks that we are on and then i say well Amanda wants to go out with me now and so our relationship doesn't mean anything!? thats not fair if i intend on doing that but if i tell liz then she won't go out with me and what if i find out later that Amanda doesn't want a relationship and then i lost a great opportunity. i cant wait because then i will be doing the same thing with liz that Amanda is doing with me, making her wait. i think that at the moment i am feeling a little partial to just telling Amanda to rack of and going out with liz just because i am sick of being dicked around, but i have liked Amanda for a long time. I need some help can someone give me some advise, even if it isn't the best i just need something because at the moment i feel a little lost. HELP???
if i were u then id go with your last idea, just go out with liz! i mean, amanda really is just saying that cus she doesnt really like u...trust me as a girl here, iv done the same thing shes doing lol u no, telling a guy that i have to think about it cus i actually didnt like him other then a friend...and if shes gonna just use u for sex like she had or make u wait then she doesnt deserve u. u seem like a great guy, and abviously this liz sees that, so go for her...ull get over amanda...ur young yet, so anything goes
Just tell them neither are getting any from wonderous sexy you until they figure themselves out. Meanwhile...doing anything Friday night?
oh thanks, i just got off the phone with Amanda and i told her that i had changed my mind and that think that from the experience of the way she has treated me i would not like to date her anymore. ok so now how long do i have to wait until i ask liz out or maybe now i can't because i don't want to get in the middle of friends, what do i do now? i am paused over the phone trying to think about what i should do and yeah not doing much friday night, why? jj (jokes). i don't really know how to do this?
oh...no... i just got a sms from Amanda saying that, she is so sorry because she did want to go out with me but thought that it would end badly and that is why she was nervous to say yes. wow... thats some shiz. i cant go back on my decision but i still haven't called liz, do i even like Amanda that much i dont know, whats the best move now. i am going to wait for some replies because i need some good advise and it is clear that i dont understand women as much as i thought... am i being played with, maybe now that she has lost me she wants me or maybe she was genuine?
Amanda's my messed up girl, as in always had a crush on but it never turned out right and her best friend liz told me that she likes me, so thats whos who in the sun, oh yeah and im Mitch
Good call, Micky. I'm glad you put her in her place. Remember, we humans act on the "sacrecy principle" -- we desire what we cannot have. Women especially do this, so it's no suprise that Amanda gave you some bullsh!t response after you turned her down. Question: Does Amanda know that Liz likes you? If so, you're in for a big show down. Women desire (greatly) what other women have. Picture yourself as a kid, and your mother offers you a teletubby to play with. You instantly turn your head in disgust, but as soon as your sibling starts playing with it, you want that damn teletubby now. It's the same with women. If you go out with Liz, Amanda is going to want you more. Basic principles.
Question: Does Amanda know that Liz likes you? If so, you're in for a big show down. Women desire (greatly) what other women have. Picture yourself as a kid, and your mother offers you a teletubby to play with. You instantly turn your head in disgust, but as soon as your sibling starts playing with it, you want that damn teletubby now. It's the same with women. If you go out with Liz, Amanda is going to want you more. Basic principles.[/QUOTE]i must defanitly agree with that statement now after what amanda said about being afraid...shell DEFANTLY want u if u go for liz...so i guess the real question is : do u want to forget about amanda now and go for liz who doesnt seem, so far, as confusing, or do u still have feelings for amanda and would still like to go out with HER, cus once u figure out what u want we can help give advice as to how to get it...
