I just got a call informing me that my best friend has died today. I do not know how, but knowing him it was suicide or heroin. This is completely unexpected... he had the greatest presence of any person I have ever met. He was completely true since elementary school he was probably the only kid who never put on false airs. He ALWAYS did exactly what he felt like despite what anyone else thought. He would always do the most comical things at the most inapropriate times which exposed every situation for its fakeness. He was against greed and selfishness at all costs. He seemed to appear in places at the most coincidential times. He once appeared and saved another friends life. His words and actions have made me question his existance as a human being entirely. I really saw god in this person whether I was tripping or not. He is the only person which I have ever met who was a completely free spirit and his life has been a model for me. He showed up frequently to help me get rid of my drug problems when I was psychotic. Now he is dead. Gone for good. He always said that this world had limits which he could not stand to be bound by. Now he is free of these limits. All of the things I have of his... what can I do? He was only 16 years old and he had the wisdom of several lifetimes. His life was too short damnit! My grandmother died a few weeks ago and she was very close to me, but I didnt feel like this. She was one of the most generous loving people I have known, but she was old and it was her time. This is mind boggling.. completely baffling. I just wish that I had some sign to show me that he will live on. I keep looking for a sign and nothing... One thing that is for sure is that I will never forget him and a very big part of him lives on in me. There has to be something I can do. Maybe I can pay my respects somehow... any ideas? edit - 16years old, he was only 16!
It is always very difficult to find words in a situations like this. I am sorry to hear that one young life has ended so early, but on the other side, I refuse to belive that death is end. I belive that he made a transition to a better place. When I was 18, my girlfriend died just like that. That was my first true love and I thought that my whole life doesn't have any meaning any more. I was thinking of suicide also. But than, I still don't know did I imagine that in my head, or it really happened, I saw her by the window in my dark bedroom. I got up from my bed and wanted to touch her and she was just smiling and disapeared. Immidiatelly, situations that we've been through together, were going so fast in my head with her words echoing in my ears. All the situations where I was asking her all in love: "What would I do without you?", she would answer streight: "You would find another one!" Those words were echoing in my ears benging my mind and than our whole relationship fast forwarded through my mind, and I realized that we were just laughing, making fun and loving each other all the time. Somehow, the idea that I must live my life for both of us and to be all the time happy and loving person to everybody was stamped in my head so strong. And I was completely changed that night, my enlightment journey started that night and I learned to find at least one little nice thing in a disasterous situation and remember that whole chaos by that nice thing. Her funeral, I was smiling looking at her for the last time in that coffin, and everybody thought that I am loosing my mind. All of them cruying and me, smiling. She looked beautiful, despite thing that she was dead. I had the impresion that she is beautifull for the last time just for me, and whole that ugly event I have in my mind as a beautifull thing. I got the message that if she can still see me somehow, she would be much happier if I am happy, that I must raise above my selfish pain and enjoy every second of my life, that her purpose in her life was to teach me that thing so I can spread that to others and to disapear physicaly. I don't know what to tell you elfin1mf how to pay your respect, but trying similar thing that I did, to me is much more than paying respect, it is like that person didn't die and lives in you forever. It is like two souls became one, bringing you on the edge of real spiritual onenes, and after some time, with use of acid all of that came to me even more, that we are all one! May your friend rest in peace, and we who continue to live, we can pay our tribute only by becoming a better persons and spread the love that people like your friend and my girfriend taught us to unselfishly give to everything and everyone!
My condolences, I couldn't imagine something like that happening. Just remember grief is a step by step process, it will be tough but you will get through. I believe that his life has not ended, yet has only begun, transitioned into a world even better than ours.
Ye every time I hear someone say that after life is just nothing, I tell them what I think. I tell them "you wish it were that easy" I tell them that eternal peace is not that easy, and a very important theory states that energy cannot be created or destroyed. This means that we keep going on and on in different forms or ways. Of course this leaves the question 'how was the universe created?' and I smile and think 'it was always here... you are all fooled' but I dont say that anymore. I believe that everything that is here was always here, and we arent creating new things, we are just pretending we are. Many things about life are an illusion. And Shapeshifter, I once saw a ghostly white human shaped figure at my window as well. It was so bright the entire room was lit up like a bulb. The figure stopped and seemed to be penetrating my mind in ways I cannot explain as we stared at each other, and just like your gf, it disappeared out of thin air in about 5 - 10 seconds. I will never fully understand these other worldly entities, but I have seen more. One cat like creature which can travel at the speed of light frequently appears to my friend and me. I know that if anything is real at all, this is, because my friend described it to me before I told him about it. The biggest qualm I have is that if anybody I know could have died, he would be near the last person I would want to leave. I think about how many peoples lives he brightened and changed. I think about how his thoughts were so advanced and he always had the right thing to say in any situation. He is a household name in this town to anyone who knew him. His comical doings remained as heart warming and strong in everyones memories as when they happened. Then again, it was all only a dream. This life a dream.
I heard today from someone attending his wake that he died of a heroin overdose. I still dont know if it was suicide or not. It was only 1 week after his 16th birthday. I have written a small tribute to him. Current mood: beyond words Rest in Peace young soldier. No one could ever forget you. Best of friends, this realm could never bind you. The world suffers the loss of one of it's truest sons. An emptiness fills my heart in mourning. A shadow covers my soul. With your life, you tried to make them see; you tried to release them. At the worst times of my life, and so many others, you helped to save me. You were always there at the most excruciating duration of my existence. Much of my pondering has been set on questioning how a human could be so selfless, so magical. You aided in transcending my mind to a consciousness of enlightenment. Your words and actions played a crucial part in setting my soul free. You were an ultimate companion in faculties which can be matched by no other. You where truly sent from above. You are and always where an angel of purity. Whimsical comedy of incredible profoundness revealed a precedent of unrestrained beauty which surpasses any memory in the community of all people who knew of you. Your relentless struggle to bring all people to a state of heaven was not in vain. You were a local celebrity, no one could deny your eternal serene presence. In 16 years, you possessed the wisdom of several lifetimes. You carried the burden of absolute truth to which most are completely blind. There is at least a little bit of Drew in all of those who have met you. You were a mentor to any person. You turned down no man, no matter how ragged his appearance. I am baffled as to how my life could have been graced with the friendship of a true saint. Words cannot convey my feelings; your cognition was above society and restrained by no human thought or emotion. Sleep now prince, you are eternal.
this story and the above poem is really touching. your friend is in a better, more divine place my friend. peace and love.
Your friend is still here. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed. He is a part of everyone who he touched with his actions. Especially you. I hope you can feel his presence with in yourself because it is there my friend.
As the picture of his death is filled in more completely by those who know more about the situation than I, my anguish is deepened. He did not willingly commit suicide that night. It now appears that the familiy of another one of my closest acquaintances of all time is about to be destroyed. My friend will have his life taken from him. If anyone can vouch for the needle and the damage done, it is I. In summary, the 3 best friends I ever had are now vanquished. The best of all friends I have ever known, took his last breath in a hotel room, trying to call for help on a cell phone, before being abandoned to expire. The second closest friend will likely spend his life in prison now. The third is so badly addicted that he lost every home he has ever been accepted into and has been homeless for almost a year now. Gone, gone. How can I pick up the pieces of a life shattered to the core? Without lsd, I likely would not be alive today either. It was one year ago christmas eve that I was saved. Without Drew, I would not have been able to stay off drugs. How can i be sitting here while they can not? How am I the one who made it out? All I have left is my family and I am very thankful to still have them, even though they (as well as I) may soon be put in prison for unrelated crimes. It is a sad story, but hopefully someone can learn from this. Every time I hear someone talk or post about opiates, speeds, benzos, or cocas I can never express enough the vast obliteration which these breed. There is no end to their destruction. Coming from a guy who grew up with alcoholic parents let my emphasize that alcohol can be just as bad. In my experience though, opiates are the epidemy of death. Please anyone who may read this, heed my advice and make sure everyone you know does not get into opiates.
im a firm believer of reincarnation....so you never know maybe he will be reincarnated again. I dont know what else to tell you except i am very sorry and death is something that is hard to deal with but he will always be with you, in your hears and in your memories. my condolences. peace and love
the good souls always die young my friend, i watched my best friend destroy himself for 3 years on meth and extacy i was there gettin trashed most of the time too. we had a fight one night when he drove me home and i got out of the car 10 minutes before he got to my house. he was on meth, extacy and smoking weed and drinking heavily at the time and i had the feeling id never see him again. i got a call from the hospital from one of the other people in the car saying he had rolled his car 5 minutes after i got out killing 3 of my best friends and leaving only one survivor. the scariest thing was that i was in the middle back seat with no seatbelt on the whole time and i would have also died in the crash without question. my whole world was thrown upside down, i went from having the world behind me to being so desperatly alone. my main friends who have fought in fights with me, defended me, helped me through my breakups with girls, they were all gone. my deepest, deepest condolences. let this guide you on the right path and hopefully realise how precious the sway of the trees and the blue in the skyes is. we have to take it all in while we can because each day is a countdown to the end. the pain will get better with time but his memory will live on and dont EVER let that disapear.
You sound more excited than sorry for the kid, but that's all up to you. I think if it were me in that position I think I'd be grieving and/or reflecting over less drug oriented memories if my best friend died, instead of contemplating which energy you believe he formed into... Lol. Truth is you don't even know what happens when we die, and maybe I just think that sounds a bit tacky anyway... but then again, I'm no fan of energies. Free spirit? He possibly died from heroin, you never talked to your friend about them kind of decisions to do hard drugs like that, that young? He sounds like a great dude, but to imply he didn't need any help's a little stretched. Was he really a best friend, or an aquaintance? I personally would of tried to help him through a few of them things if he was my left hand, rather than assuming he has seen through every parallel of the worlds ignorance (he probably hasn't, and probably could of used a few words of hopes himself). I know a lot of people who think they are a free spirit, but even have their own chains holding them down that they pretend to ignore infront of everyone else. I'm sure heroin could of been one of his. Anyway, sorry for your loss and best of wishes.
"You sound more excited than sorry for the kid, but that's all up to you." I am not sure what you mean here, of course I am pained to live without him. "I think I'd be grieving and/or reflecting over less drug oriented memories if my best friend died, instead of contemplating which energy you believe he formed into." - This is just uncalled for. My grandmother died less than a month ago and I did not feel like this. She was one of the best people I have ever known but in no way am I devastated like I am from my best friends untimely overdose. This is the worst loss I can imagine, aside from my brothers. I do not recall contemplating which energy he formed into, could you please post a quote? no? ok great. "Truth is you don't even know what happens when we die, and maybe I just think that sounds a bit tacky anyway... but then again, I'm no fan of energies." again not sure what you mean here. Of course I do not know what happens when someone dies, this does not mean that I can not use logic to make an educated guess. "Free spirit? He possibly died from heroin, you never talked to your friend about them kind of decisions to do hard drugs like that, that young? He sounds like a great dude, but to imply he didn't need any help's a little stretched. Was he really a best friend, or an aquaintance? I personally would of tried to help him through a few of them things if he was my left hand, rather than assuming he has seen through every parallel of the worlds ignorance (he probably hasn't, and probably could of used a few words of hopes himself). I know a lot of people who think they are a free spirit, but even have their own chains holding them down that they pretend to ignore infront of everyone else. I'm sure heroin could of been one of his." Again this is a bit uncalled for. You did not know him or his relationship with me. I posted the truth. He was the main person responsible for helping me get off heroin. He was clean for soo long, this is why when he randomly chose that night to shoot again that he died; he had no tolerance. Dont think I didnt repeatedly tell him not to relapse. I talked about it with him several times each week. Some people have to grow up earlier than others. I have never known a spirit as free as his. When a person gets introduced to opiates at an early age it is too late. No matter how much of a genius or free spirit they are, the deathly grasp of the opiates will never let go. Take it from someone who has suffered an addiction to these and come back. Some people, no matter how smart, cannot find the will to suffer through the months, sometimes years of recovery.
"I am not sure what you mean here, of course I am pained to live without him." It was just the kind of tone I assumed from reading your writing. It didn't seem like it had much emotion in it, besides mentioning he was your best friend. "This is just uncalled for. My grandmother died less than a month ago and I did not feel like this. She was one of the best people I have ever known but in no way am I devastated like I am from my best friends untimely overdose. This is the worst loss I can imagine, aside from my brothers. I do not recall contemplating which energy he formed into, could you please post a quote? no? ok great." I was being vague and indirect, I just meant you were speaking something of the sort. You were considering seeing a god in him or something of the sort, and mentioned 'spirits' .(Ofc. besides hoping they are in a better position than they were.) But I guess that paragraph would pretty much end the point I was trying to get at, I guess you did see a lot more deeper inside of him. "again not sure what you mean here. Of course I do not know what happens when someone dies, this does not mean that I can not use logic to make an educated guess." I do not recall speaking about people being not being able to make a somewhat logical conclusion, could you please post a quote? no? ok great. "Again this is a bit uncalled for. You did not know him or his relationship with me. I posted the truth. He was the main person responsible for helping me get off heroin. He was clean for soo long, this is why when he randomly chose that night to shoot again that he died; he had no tolerance. Dont think I didnt repeatedly tell him not to relapse. I talked about it with him several times each week. Some people have to grow up earlier than others. I have never known a spirit as free as his. When a person gets introduced to opiates at an early age it is too late. No matter how much of a genius or free spirit they are, the deathly grasp of the opiates will never let go. Take it from someone who has suffered an addiction to these and come back. Some people, no matter how smart, cannot find the will to suffer through the months, sometimes years of recovery." And what makes it uncalled for? Besides you taking it the wrong way? If you spoke the truth more clearly, I wouldn't have had to question the relationship. I just thought it was a bit uncalled for to assume he was such a free spirit, and to speak of him in a some what monotone manner. Heroin apparently took the final grasp of his humanity, it sucks, it happens, but he could have been free'er and opened up some new perspectives and take the final step. It's like kids saying they are trying their hardest in highschool, but then they sleep sometimes in class (you are not free if you are lying to yourself, he knew deep down doing heroin was against everything he was trying to be for.. that's cheating,, and I'm not saying be mad at him, it's human nature to let things get the best of us). I feel bad for him, and you, trust me, but I'm just saying, could you really say he was a free spirit? I didn't ask for an argument on morals, I'm not trying to be an ass.
If only you couldve known him you would understand. He was completely unrestricted by other peoples opinions. He was free from all the stupid societal bullshit. He was like a miracle prodigy child. You speak as if you are very knowledgeable about the opiate-addicted community. - " Heroin apparently took the final grasp of his humanity, it sucks, it happens, but he could have been free'er and opened up some new perspectives and take the final step. It's like kids saying they are trying their hardest in highschool, but then they sleep sometimes in class (you are not free if you are lying to yourself, he knew deep down doing heroin was against everything he was trying to be for.. " - can you honestly say that you have a full understanding of the cognition of the heroin-addicted human being? You probably have never even used heroin, much less could you even begin to understand the morose anguish which an addict deals with. Why dont you step in the shoes of a man who has carried the burden which is so excruciating that no one else will bare? They are no different than you but for the fact that they have had to learn so much more about life on the very bottom. "I do not recall speaking about people being not being able to make a somewhat logical conclusion, could you please post a quote?" - it was actually you "lol" at the idea of reincarnation that made me think that you felt this way. here is the quote "energy you believe he formed into... Lol." I never even stated that I believe in reincarnation in that manner; I think it was you who misundrstood me my friend. What I was speaking of was the fact that the energy which he emitted when telling jokes or acting goofy would rub off on other people and enlighten them.
Well you said he wasn't doing heroin 'anymore' (up until that night), so I figured he was trying to quit, or had just stopped, hence why I made that point. I didn't know he was still addicted, or still had cravings to use it that bad. You never mentioned that in the original post, besides the fact the poor kid OD'ed when he returned to it. I think you misunderstood me again, I asked for a quote on where I said you couldn't make logical conclusions. But yeah I guess that pretty much would have been the paragraph I was talking about originally (towards the bottom), and I already said once I was being vague and 'indirect' when I made that reference. And I'd rather not make a debate out of your best friends thread, so it's up to you to continue. I was just making my point about the original post, and yeah, I was being vague with the references. I just thought the original post didn't show much emotion towards your friend, or at least the tone of voice I got from it. That's all. Hence why I said 'instead of contemplating blablabla'. Which was vague and mostly wrong, sorry to get it mixed up.
