Setting limits

I met someone about 3 weeks ago. I brought her over to my place the following week. Since then, I've been to her place as well. We enjoy each other's company and affection, even though we're not yet 100% comfortable.

I like her enough to keep seeing her indefinetely, but I'm not crazy about her. I would still need plenty of personal space and to keep my options open.

We're at the point in which we have to communicate openly and set the limits of our relationship.

What is a sensitive way to talk to her about all this considering that I'm not sure how far she wants to go with me?

Thanks.

 

So do you like her enough to see her exclusively? If so time to talk to her about taking things slow. If not, might be time to walk .

 

I do not want to see her exclusively, though I'm not seeing nor seeking anyone else for the moment.

I would like to continue seeing her while keeping my options open.

I don't know what she has in mind, that's why I need advice on how to communicate the above in a sensitive and open manner.

Thanks for the post.

 

If you're not crazy about her then don't lead her on... thats just rude. You can't have everything convenient for you

 

Amen.

 

Man you are 30 grow a pair and be honest with her. She may be thinking the same thing about you. Just tell her that you enjoy her company but you want to stay open to seeing other people.

 

I'm neither leading her on, nor hiding the fact that I do not want a sexual commitment. I simply asked how to put it in a sensitive way so not to hurt her feelings in case she wants more.


You guys are tough! lol

 

there's not too particularly of a sensitive way to do it
except for maybe throw in a 'hey, I hope I haven't been leading you on' or something at the beginning
other than that, I think umm..ya put it perfect

 

Thanks, Duck. Sometimes you do have to just come out and say it, don't you?

I have issues with over-sensitivity, which may in the end be more hurtful. Thanks for the advice, I'll lay my cards on the table.

P.S. Since she hasn't returned my call yesterday, she may want LESS than me! Lol. Who knows?

 

Maybe she's afriad that you are looking for a commitment.

 

yeah, I definitely over think things and over worry a bit when dealing with people at times
but, I've been learning that lots've times when you're too sensitive or go about things too indirectly, instead of changing the fate of the relationship, you just postpone the inevitable
in the long run, though some cushioning may be needed, upfront seems the most efficient way to go

 

Isn't that ironic! What I don't understand is, if she thought she might disappear (I'm getting the answering machine treatment for the second time), why the hell did she borrow (steal?) a book from me?

I tried to put it plainly from the beginning that whatever problem she might have with me, with the way things were going between us, with whatever I might have said or done...that I would listen and respect her decisions.

Even still, she got me talking to the walls! How's that for a turn around? Lol. Go figure.

 

So do you want her more now?

 

don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out ... don't let this happen another time learn from your mistakes big BOY

 

Please explain what was my mistake.

 

No. In fact, unless she's been in an accident and is comatose or some other unforseen thing, I wouldn't consider continuing what we had been doing.

Why would I want someone who has problems with communication and availability? Been there, done that.