Ego death and maintaining the breath

I have just recently had my first lsd experience. During my trip (2 hits) I felt an incredible desire to simply let my ego die just as i was about to peak. It was such a beautiful feeling however I stopped short of fully letting myself go into that blissfully mystical place because another part of me was worried that if i let my ego die... I just might forget to keep breathing. In addition, to prepare for this experience I meditated for an hour before my trip with the goal of calming my mind and centering my breath, but unfortunately I still could not completely "let go" when that overwhelming "ego death" urge came rushing up.

Has anyone else experienced this before? It's that nagging little voice in your head saying to you... "if you fully let go, you could stop breathing and might not return to your body". I really want to break through this mental block on my next trip so that i can hopefully reach that higher state of spiritual bliss and deeper level of conciousness. If anyone out there has any practical advice for acheiving this "higher level" i would very much appreciate hearing about your experiences concerning complete "ego loss" whilst maintaining the breath and a sense of peaceful well being.

 

Yes, I've definitely have that feeling. Even when I have been really high on weed, I have been worried about breathing enough or too much. It really shouldn't be a problem though. As long as you remain calm, your body will make sure you are getting enough oxygen. It is probably more likely that you would have problems from hyperventilation if you were to become anxious.

 

Forget about death, it is a natural instinct to fear death but why is death so bad? You wont die, but even if you do is that so bad? If you had to physically die to let go of your painful ego then you can do without this pain I say.

 

Well, some people do want to live out their lives... perhaps have children, impact the world in some way. It's true that death is probably not so bad, but I definitely understand why a lot of people are not ready to die at an age at which one is most likely to be taking LSD.

 

I dont know why, but I think the thought of forgetting to keep breathing while experiencing ego loss to me that sounds beautiful, it's so peaceful. It makes me smile to think of it

 

You will not forget to breathe, the body breathe's on it's own even when you are in a state of coma, in most cases. Do you forget to breathe when you are in the deepest state of sleep? Ego death is basically the same thing as the unconcsiousness of sleep, what you are speaking of is a form of samadhi and yogi's who are master's of control can and do enter this state at will, however they suspend the animation of their physical life, including breathing, for long periods of time. But they do not die, they more or less freeze if you follow me here.
Breathing is the mantra of life, prayer, that we all do in worship wether or not we even know we are doing it. To breathe in is to encompass fullness, to embrace the entire macrocosmic form of God's creation and experience it as the Self. To breathe out is to 'die' more or less, to give up your life force and experience the timelessness of existance. Breathing in and breathing out is, in some schools of yoga, considered the minor deaths and rebirths, so that we are dying and being reborn at every moment of breathe. Some schools say that going to sleep is death and waking up in the morning is rebirth, so that you would typcially have 365 deaths and 365 births a year.
To sum it all up, no, you will not stop breathing, your vital life energy will ensure that you keep your body fllowing and well. Just let go next time and dont hold back because trust me, you will be fine.
Om shanti and Namaste Family -

 

If you were going to die, and you were either able to have that much control over your sensitivity to pain, OR if you were unconscious to the point of a true coma, that would surely be a peaceful way to die.
But I dont know Aura, if you were just some kid on LSD touching a divine state and suddenly were unable to breathe, that would be one of the most painful ways to die. I can still remember to this day how much pain I felt when my lungs collapsed, twice, and it was far from being peaceful to clutch my chest and be on the verge of blacking out from lack of oxygen lol. Not to mention the pain in my chest, just not being able to breathe was both horrifying and immensley painful.

 

i dont want to die

 

Good chance your ego is stronger then you think and it will reappear some time after your trip.

 

i think that part of letting go is to let go of everything. maybe you dont need to worry about not coming back. in the very unlikely event that you dont come back it would have to be because there is a more important place for you to be. ego death is like natural death and it makes sense that you should not be afraid of where you are going or if you will ever be alive again. you must have faith that whatever happens will be for the best. if you are a good person with good karma this will be easy for you to do. if you have troubles with letting go you might consider asking yourself 'how can i become a better person?' if you are afraid that what comes after ego death is bad there is probably something wrong with your karma. there really is nothing to be afraid of - get yourself to a place where you understand this completely and you will no longer have difficulties letting go.

 

True, true true. Although I dont really think that HOW much of your karma in either case, good or bad, determines how deeply a person will feel fear or anticipation at positivity. It most definitley plays a part because what your karmic equation comes out to determines how far you progess in the heavenly planes, but the fear you experience also has to do with your attachment to the world you know. Even a saint can fear death, and a sinner can be happy that it's finally all over (for now lol).
Letting go is surely a very difficult concept for some people, and this has much to do with attachment (obviously) and karma, but also to do with how open a person is to change. Very many people fear change, even a saint could fear change if, for example, during bodily death they started to progress through the purification plane, the first plane of the heavenly planes, the beginning of the ascension towards the Source of God (according to the Tibetan Book of the Dead, most denominations of Hinduism, Esoteric Christianity, and myself) All souls must go through purification to rid oneself of harbouring negativites, doubts, beliefs, and karmic debt. How much you need to change depends on how horrifying the experience of purification will be. After that it's all uphill. Most of us who are experiencing ego death on psychedelics are either not going all the way in (as we might like to think we are) or are going in and have 2 choices :
1. Run away from the descending change
2. Embrace it and hope to come out of it eventually in some form
Those of us who run, typically are exposed to all of the negative energy lying dormant in the back of our consciousness, the dark thoughts we mentally manifest but fear tremendously.
Those of us who embrace it, move deeper (though you can only go so far into heaven while still connected to a body, which you are, no matter how you look at it. The Soul can soar but it still comes back!) into our purification and accept the fact that we are sometimes bad people, we see our mistakes and say "Ok, i need to change this about myself before I can go further" like 3xi is saying.
Some of us, however, go so far in that we reach a point of no return. Upon coming out of it and returing to bodily consciousness, the ego has been so badly damaged that it just barely manifests to the forefront of our consciousness. We still have problems and struggle with desire, in myriad ways, but it does not consume us. We are forever able to envisage the Orange Morning on the shores of Tomorrow. -

 

This is kinda how I imagine it... but yeah, I know it could be very painful if it was going to happen.

 

I know, but we can always dream

 

i understand what you are saying. there are good people who still fear ego death. you make a good point that it might just be an inability to let go of their attachments or a fear of change. i would still say that something is wrong with their karma. the inability to let go of your attachments or a fear of change is a karmic flaw. at least that is how i understand it.

you dont have to be a murderer, thief or a liar to have not so good karma. there is not just good or bad karma - there are many in betweens. a very good person may not have the best karma.

i guess my point is that the better karma you have the easier it will be for you to understand why there is nothing to fear. letting go is much easier for someone with good karma.

 

True and this is not really to be disputed, it's how nature works Her way. According to my beliefs, the way into 'letting go', moksha, is to be free of any karma, wether good or bad. Good karma will help you get to this point, bad karma will help you as well but the lessons will be harder to handle. So naturally we all begin letting go by doing good deeds, sharing with people, loving, forgiving, etc. But to truly ascend, I believe it takes a negation of ALL karma, and this is why so few people do it at any given time. This is why people are reincarnated millions of times.

 

Thanks for your messages Relayer. Your thoughts on these matters do connect with me and I appreciate the time and mindfulnesss of which you've taken to express them. From reading many of your previous posts on this site you seem to be coming from a place of "selfless service" rather than a place of ego driven "expertise". Very refreshing and inspiring indeed.

I will be taking another trip next week and really look forward to pushing through to the next level of my spiritual development and practise with your comments in mind.

 

but....according to Frued...isn't the id the part that controls breathing? Frued had the mind seperated into 3 distinct parts. The Id, the Ego, and the Superego. The Id drives us to fufill all our most primal needs for survival and self preservation, such as eating, sleeping, breathing, and reproducing. Hower, the Id left alone would be dangerous in a "lawful" society such as ours, making us not much different from animals. Therefor the Superego, is like the father figure of the mind, constantly reminding us of what we have been told what is "right and wrong" in relation to our id desires. all the ego does is maintain the relationship between the two to make sure that both are pleased.

 

Wow! I dont know what to say other than thank you and bless you Steelah. I of course have many moments where my ego still breaks through, I will be the first to admit that I have many faults, one of them being speaking my opinion when it is not needed. I am trying to work on this but like everyone else we all make mistakes.
I will say though, that I am truly here to help others. Half of what I say can at times be 'holier than thou' and the other half comes from an honest love that I have for everyone. I believe that everyone can transcend their ego, and those of us who use psychedelics all need a helping hand. I know that if it werent for my good friends, the advice of others on this board, and the techniques offered by Yogananda I would have never been able to accept my faults and come to terms with my shortcomings.
May we all continue to help each other and grow closer to the source of the light!
Please Steelah let us know how your upcoming trip goes and what you learn about it all. Good luck, and happy trails!
Om shanti and namaste Family.

 

dont feel bad about anything relayer, the more I hear from anyone the better. I dont care if someone doesnt think an opinion is necessary, in my book anyones comments are accepted. Even a completely misguided view can have a silver lining and bring up good points. If someone posts 1000 comments which benefit nobody, but 1 comment which someone finds helpful, they have done a great thing.