The more I interact with people, the more I see the difference between people who embrace love and the people who embrace fear. The latest being the vast majority. I think our natural way to be is loving and that fear is an acquired characteristic, that people are very quick to take into their lives. We just gotta compare and contrast between children and adults, pre and after the social conditioning. Fear is constantly being pumped into our minds and I cant help but think does being afraid really helps with anything? I think the energy you put out there, also works as a form of attraction and when being afraid/paranoid you are just attracting negative things. I'm a really loving, trusting, caring person and is not like bad things dont happen to me, they usually dont, but sometimes they do, but I think what enables me to not feel fear is the ability of let go from those things and not carry them with me into every new situation I step into, because I think that when people do that, they are just molding things into negative ones. I thought of all of this after going out on Wed with my roommate, we were waiting for the bus and this native short guy approaches us. He's wearing a santa claus hat with devil horns, I guess he was going for a nightmare before xmas. the guy comes and he's drunk and happy and says "can you spare me some change?". I really didnt have any, so I said "I dont have any, Im sorry". He then said "what about a hug?", to what I responded "I always got a hug" and I gave him this real big hug, I love hugging people. He was happy and I was happy. Then I started to walk away because my bus was coming and he said something like "you gotta stop being so damn sexy". I laughed and said that "I'll try", but the guy was this super chill dude. We were about to get in the bus and then he asked again for some change, I told him, you just asked us, we dont have any, he asked for a cig, I didnt have. He said "oh, I'll see if I can sneak on the bus with you". The bus driver didnt let him and my roommate spend the whole ride home saying, he was going to follow us home and blah blah blah and all this fear and I was just laughing, because you shoulda seem the guy, he was like this little teddy bear and I dont understand people always feel so much fear before anything starts happening, they rush into it. The next day she was telling the story to her boyfriend and the guy spend a whole bus ride telling me "You dont hug random people in the street". I was hmm "I do hug random people in the street, I do it all the time". "He's like but not a drunken guy". I said "You are right, I usually dont hug drunk guys, but this guy seemed harmless, if I get a bad vibe from the person I usually say something like oh but my mom told me to not hug strangers " haha and he goes on saying how I dont know if they are crazy, I was like "Josh, I dont know if YOU are crazy and I hug you". He made this whole drama in his mind on how by me giving him a hug, I was leading him on and then he would think I like him and was going to become obsessed with me and Im like "Josh, do you realize this is something that happened yesterday? that the consequences of my hug have already ended? and your theory has been proven wrong?". He goes on "yes, but it could happen". I said "I know it can happen, anything CAN happen, this bus could crash right now, should I fear it happening before I see any signs of it?" I get this so much in my life, people telling me how I should be afraid of others and not trust and not be the way I am. I'm not saying I dont feel fear, but I dont live with fear in my heart and it's sad to see so much people that do.
I don't trust humans... I've never met a totally trust worthy person. Am I afraid? Idk, probably just aware.
I think being unable to trust others has to do with the way you think of yourself, but that's just my theory. Is not like Im going to become friends with all the sketchy people, but I think everyone is so quick to judge others in a negative way without really having any base for it. Being aware is good, always good, but I think is quite different from being paranoid.
Well the reality is that we all judge people, we judge everything, at every given moment of conscious existance. Negative judgement in the sense that we are preconceiving someone as possesing the potential to create an enviorment in which fear would be a natural sensation is a rational perception and one that truthfuly HAS to exist in this diverse civilization, as much as we would like to embrace love. But Love can exist even during and alongside with a sensation of fear. We can still love the person we fear may cause of physical/mental harm. That does not mean that we have to embrace them. Trust is something that honestly is not an actual reality, it is a condition that one person creates for themselves, giving a limiting determination to the potential aciont/reaction of another conscious human being, and every human being is not only capable of change but thrives on it. Trust can and will be broken given the right circumstances and enviorment. I love all existance as I love myself, but I would not give everyone a chance for a hug. A kynd word, some spare change, a loose cigarette, a cup of coffee, sure. But to embrace them as I would embrace my mother, or my child? Sorry, I just would not do it. You can never know what is on the mind of the person who you do not fear and have love for, and to put your guard down completley is potentially an invitation to manipulative, harmful activity. Judgement is the key word here, I would hug a little girl on the street who lost a toy and was feeling sad, but I would not hug a drunken man, especially if I was a female. Not that I am saying that I would never hug a boy because I am one myself, but just not random boy who was apparently and obviously intoxicated. That being said, I also do not think that we are inheritley loving in nature nor that we learn fear (in terms of one, and current, incarnation of human flesh and bone). We do love as an infant, true. We love ourselves (over anything else) and we love our mom, sometimes our dad. But we are born with an immense fear in our hearts that is stronger than love, because love at that stage ONLY knows boundaries, it is a selfish love (if you can even call it that because an infant has not had a chance yet to determine the difference. Bad choice of words, I know, sorry.) that exists only to gratify the immediate needs of the infant. Trust exists because they have not learned that evil can and will find them, but that is not a loving trust. It is a naive perception that is subject to vast change as experience, age, and seperation set's in. A child who grows into an adult which is abused will have a much harder time 'trusting' random individuals in later stages of life. But this is why I say that Love in the trusest sense of the concept, has nothing to do with trust, or with fear. It is it's own entity, it lives within and/or without you, and asks no questions. It is what we our in essence of spirit and creation, and it will be there long after we are no longer around and conscious to say "Look! That is love." Wether there is a conscious being to be able to name love Love, I believe Love still exists and is in fact, all that exists. Love permeates reality like a string behind the beads of a necklace. But to trust people whom you have no way of knowing that they live a life of love is either naive, or it is wishful thinking, and positive intentions very often lead being into the negation of itself. We are inheritley nothingness, but at the same time, I still say Love is the only Reality. Om shanti and Namaste Family -
This is the part that I believe requires the most discussion, and it is also a statement that no matter what angle I attempt to view it's theoretical validity, I cant bring myself to agree with it. Life start's out in comfort, true, but we are not entirely conscious of our comfortable state, for 2 reasons : 1. It is all we know (the womb, that is) 2. We are not mentally developed enough to grasp different concepts. If you believe in reincarnation, then life initally begins at conception, and like most people on this earth, we have needs to be reborn in order to learn more Truth and Love, and the seperation from the astral plane into the physical, material plane, is most definitley a horrifying and unwelcoming experience, just like dying in the physical plane, leaving here and going there. It's the same thing, seperation that we fear. The fear of death is the same as the fear of birth. In the womb we dont know any better so we can discount this. But upon being born, would you not agree that the infant is terrified at leaving it's warm cozy home and going towards the light and strange faces? Just like a person is afriad at the moment of death. So we can see here, that fear is a natural instinct and does not exactly become 'learned', it needs to be 'unlearned' from the very beginning in order to embrace love. Love is something I could go on for a lifetime about but I am only going to say here that love is all that there is and love is all that we are. It is not learned, it is what we already are, always have been and always will be. Divine love however, needs to be learned, and the way to go about learning this is to look inside. Eventually the soul gets tired of looking to the external world for happiness and has to discover the never ending bliss of its own nature. So it is true, love is how we 'naturally' are. But we are seperated from it, and it is through fear (or more accuratley the negation of fear) that we relearn that which we inherintley, are. Love will set you free -
I do think that fear is a natural emotion, but I dont think living with fear is, I guess I should have called it paranoia. It's just something I see all the time, people precipitating to fear things that are not happening and I think all that does is add tension and makes situations a lot worse. I'm not saying I would hug ANY drunk guy on the streets, hey there are people that I know that I dont hug when they are drunk. It all depends on the vibe the guy is giving me, but maybe Im just naive. I just think things would be a lot more different if we werent so afraid of the "other" person, the "stranger" and living in the what could happen, because the reality is EVERYTHING could happen, but you cannot keep all of that in your mind, it'll drive you crazy. I've just been in so many situations were people are just constantly worried of the bad things that are NOT happening and they tell me "you should be more careful", I'm like ok, just because I dont think the guy is following us, doesnt mean Im careful. I guess I give to everyone the benefit of the doubt. This was another situation, this was in Jersey City, me and a friend of my cousin, she's like 30 and it's night we are walking back home and she's freaking out because this guy that was behind us was like "you are so beautiful", so I said to the guy "thank you, so are you" and we kept walking and the guy was walking behind us, not close or anything and she was all scared "the guy is following us", I kept telling her that he wasnt, he could have been, but I knew he wasnt, she even called home, so they would open the door for us and when we were about to get there, the guy screamed at us "look lady, I live right here". So we get home and the whole dinner was "Iliana, you need to be more careful", I'm like hmm, nothing was happening, how come I'm the person who needs to be more careful and you are not the person who needs to be less paranoid. I think fear controls a lots of people every action, there are people who wouldnt even talk to someone because they are afraid and I think that's just sad. I think we need to trust instincts, instead of putting all these thought of "he's going to rob me, he's going to rape me, he's going to kill me, he's stalking me, he's...." when there are no indications that is what's going to happen. I think part of the reasons why people embrace fear so much is because of the media, so people walk around with all these images of crime and death and violence in their minds.
I agree that parnoia destroys a person's ability to be free, but I dont think that this is the majority of people like you said in the first post. I think that kind of perception is just as generalizing as the perception (caused by the media) that the world is only violent and destructive causing people to have fear. I honestly do not believe that people are as paranoid as is being said of them. You have to remember, the same media that shows you violence and destruction is the same media that shows you the everyday person. They are always going to be biased and with an agenda, that is how the media always has been and likely always will be. For your friends to tell you to be more careful, are they really being paranoid? Or are they considering your safety rather than considering there own by not saying anything? Becase if ANYONE followed me or a friend, saying things like "your beautiful" or "stop being so sexy", I can guarentee that what is on their minds is not love and peace. It may not be violence and destruction either, but whatever it is, its something I would rather avoid and have nothing to do with. There are paranoid people in this world, sure. It's ovbious, look at the American government. But the regular average person is much more comfortable with life then they are being given credit for. At the same rate though, are people REALLY living with fear in their hearts? Or are they just looking out for you by giving you a warning and advice? Because if I were in a situation where a man was calling me sexy and being overbearing (which, yes, I have been and it was not comfortable) I was not afriad. I was simply cautious of watching how he moved and held himself and I removed myself from the situation as soon as was physically possible. This does not mean I live with fear, it just means I was being careful, because especially in the city, violence and rape are everyday occurences and they can happen to anyone. Is being concerned really living in paranoia? Or is it simply looking out for potential harm and the avoidance of said harm? I guess it's like a dog who gets beaten everyday, will be very nervous around people who look like the person beating them, and will be angry at people who appear weak in the dogs eyes. Some people who have been exposed to the evil of others have a hard time trusting. And I really dont blame them, because love is not about trust and intimacy, which is what a hug actually is. Love is just a state of being and it will remain wether or not people are around to say so. Even paranoid people have love, and even people who have love experience fear. I realize this is to generalizing of a topic to discuss as either A or B, black or white, but I think for most people, we are free, we just dont want to believe that to be true. I dont know, just my observation!
I agree that we always judge people, the moment we see them, but I think people are extremely quick to judge people in a negative way. I've noticed that a lot with my roommate, usually waiting for the bus I always end up talking to a homeless person or whatever and I love it, I love talking to people. She always asks me "why where you talking to him?" and all I can think is "why wouldnt I?". The way I see it is that she thinks that out of fear, nothing bad is happening, but only bad things are going through her mind. I'm not saying we shouldnt fear when the situation arises, but why fear something that is not happening? I know that trust is something that can and will be broken, it has happened to me since ever, but I dont distrust people unless they give a reason to. I think is very sad actually to not be able to trust. I dont trust every single person I come in contact with, maybe 99.9% of them haha, I'm kidding, I do trust a lot of people and I do trust strangers until certain point if they dont give me any reason to do otherwise. Maybe it's wishful thinking or maybe it's naive, probably both, but just because person X broke my trust doesnt mean I wont allow myself to trust person Y, they are two different people, just gotta keep it balanced.
But think about it, what, really, is trust? Because the way it appears to me, is that trust is a feeling created by the mind of the perceiver, and it does exist, but only to them. Trust is a limitation placed upon another being whith preconceptions about that beings suceptibility to certain forms of behaviour. I dont trust anyone, but does that make me a sad person? And why should it, actually? Trust has nothing to do with love, because trust is not a mutual mental cognitive function. When in a relationship, if it is going to work, then it needs trust. But does trust determine wether or not you love someone? I do not believe that it does, because love is of itself, it needs nothing else to support it but the being upon which it is projected. Trust, on the other hand, requires a person to behave in a certain manner that fits the perception you have of them. This is why I dont trust anyone, but at the same time I dont harbour negativie opinions of them, nor do I make certain negativie judgements based on a few motives. I mean of course I judge people negativley for no reason, I am not perfect and everyone here Im sure is guilty of doing that very same thing. We do it every time we speak badly about someone's activities. I guess I dont think trust and love go hand in hand because Love is unconditional and trust is most definitley not. -
I believe in being cautious and I know my friends do it out of caring, but I also know how much they restrict themselves. If the guy had said "stop being so sexy" before he asked for the hug I would have probably not given it to him, but still is something he said as I was walking away and they are just words, it doesnt bother me, maybe had he said another thing, used another tone, my reaction to it would have been different. I was just amused by it. I guess also Im so used to that kind of things, in DR, you cannot walk from one place to the other without having 10 people saying something to you, but it's like part of your everyday life and maybe that's why it doesnt freak me out. It is annoying sometimes, it all depends on HOW people are saying what they are saying. Is not like I've never experienced the "evil" of others, I have, but what one person does, doesnt determine another. I know people can be bad, but they also can be good and people usually think bad first and I usually think good first, unless proven the contrary. Just because a person think Im beautiful or sexy for that matter, doesnt make them bad, I know what they are thinking, but they are free to think whatever they want, I dont care, would had him grab my hand and tell me "oh you are so sexy", I would probably freaked out, because I would have felt really uncomfortable, but that's not what was happening. I'm not saying paranoid people dont have love and people that have love dont have fear, but there are people who let love conquer and others who let fear.
This is true. I think trust is a consequence of love, but you dont NEED to trust to be able to love. It's like my brother, I love him and I dont trust him, why? because he lies ALL the time. I dont trust him because he has already broken my trust in him, repeadtely. I dont even really like him, but I dont need to like him to love him.
