I need your opinions on my **cked up self

Warning: Post is long but I want your opinions/support

Okay..well let me tell you a little bit about myself. I have no friends where I live, and never had a girlfriend(well besides 1st grade )

I feel as if my parents never cared about me. My dad cheated on my mom 3 times, and she is a chronic alcoholic. From the time I was in third grade the only thing I remember about her from 3rd-8th grade was her constantly drinking.

Now onto me..I started drinking coke constantly in about 5th grade, i drank it at night and normally had a cup beside my bed, yet my parents did nothing, not even a word about it. (I may have been adicted to the caffine) My teeth became severly fucked up..almost like the color of coke. I was only 11 or so...When i was drinking it, i never knew about long term consequences or what can happen(<--my theory).

Anyway by about 6th grade they were fucked up beyond belief. I asked my parents if i could get my teeth whitened and they said no. I remember crying quite a bit during middle school. One day in 7th grade, this girl asked me "do you brush your teeth?" I said yes, which I did,and still do.

Throughout middle school I was very very quiet and didn't even talk to girls much. I got braces in 7th grade, and one girl said i looked better with them on, i asked why( but i knew why). She said "i dont know."

By high school my teeth were very fucked up and I had no confidence(big suprise,right? ), if it hadn't been for my close friends, which I am lucky to have, I would not have gotten through. 11th grade i got my braces off in march, and i tried the whitening strips(which suck). they didn't work and left my two front teeth severly mismatched on color. They were all still dark(very).

This was always to my attention because EVeryone at my school( and young kids in general) have nice beautiful smiles. I became envious of those types of people, and began to feel as if i would never get a girl, which is still true to this day.

Anyway i dropped out of school senior year because something very tramitizing happened(don't want to talk about that), and I finished up school online.

over the summer i tried numerous whitening products, and even went to the dentist to get "zoom" done, which didn't work either.

To this day I am severly unhappy and constantly ask myself what is the point of living if I'll never be happy. I love girls but I can't talk to them because I know theres no point, I dont want to get turned down again.

I feel the events have shaped my personality, and now that I am 500 miles from my close friends after moving, i am very lonely. I have never had to make new friends because my close friends were the ones i met when i was 4. I lived in the same place from age 4-18.

I don't know what to do or even if i should consider living like this anymore. I dont want to kill myself, i just want to be happy( which I have been unhappy since about 7th grade)


Thanks for those of you that actually read this, and gave your opinions. I know there are many more people that have more fucked up lives then me, but living my whole life like this has been very hard.

 

Ah man that sucks.. sounds like you were really unlucky with one small thing (the coke) which prtty much made your whole life unhappy.

Well from what you describe.. it doesn't sound like you've got much to lose... which is a good thing. All i can say is, as hard as it may sound.. don't look back, ignore the negative comments that people send your way, set yourself small goals (getting more ambitious each time) and focus only on reaching those goals.

If you ignore any negativity and don't shy away from opportunity then your life can only possibly get better.

Its good that you don't consider suicide and only want to be happy.. this shows that you at least no which direction to head in.

Seriously though, just look forward and never back and your life WILL get better.

p.s. if you explain what the traumatizing ordeal was it might make it easier to help you.

 

theres a procedure, if whitening doesnt work. the dentist files your teeth down alot, and puts an overall on them. its very painfull, cuz the overalls go right into ur gums. my mum had it done for her 2 front teeth. but it works.

 

after reading this it seems that may be an option for him, but I would assume that would be very expensive and may not be in the cards for him.

I agree with edyb as he should ignore negative comments even though they have stuck with the OP for his life.

However, you never know what can happen in the next 5 years.