Anal, Cannt get in! HELP PLEASE

I have been with this girl for half a year now, and sex is amazing. I am trying to have anal with her and its just not happening, she is willing to do it, but I just cannt get it in without her passing out from pain.
I use lube, pleanty of it, use the finger with lube which hurts her too but not as much, foreplay, me easting her ass for a long time, after she cums, before. Nothing works. At this point I am loosing hope and its killing me.
I am not huge, just average.

Help please.

 

If she isn't relaxed it will never happen. Maybe she's cool with it but if she isn't 100% calm it's gonna make it harder for you both.
Maybe you should wait a little longer.

x

 

Alright man, im willing to help you because I had the same exact problem with my girl. after reading this excript from an online resourse I found, you can email me, or add me to msn, pm me or what ever.
Msn: blackmountainside-@hotmail.com (dont forget the -)

Alright here we go. This information was found from http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/anal.htm It was what i thought was most usefull, and of course I edited it.

Step one: Anal Relaxation
The first steps involve anal massage. Usually when the anus if first touched it contracts, preventing entry. You need to get the anal muscles to relax prior to any insertion. Many people are uncomfortable with someone touching their anus and require time to learn to relax and enjoy it. First lubricate the anus with a water based lubricant or saliva. Gently massage the anal ring with light circular strokes. Push gently in on the anal ring, but do not penetrate the anus. With time you should feel the muscles relax and the anus open up. Often times it helps to perform the anal massage while caressing the vulva or performing cunnilingus. The anal massage can enhance cunnilingus and genital massage, and sexual arousal and pleasure may distract a woman from focusing on the anal stimulation. It is necessary for both partners to be relaxed and comfortable. If you are rushed or pressured it will not work. Go slow.

Once a woman is accustomed to anal stimulation, and you are aware of when her anus is relaxed, and not tensed, you can start exploring anal penetration. The anus and rectum are very delicate so be sure to only insert smooth objects that do not have any sharp edges. Trim your fingernails. Wearing rubber or latex gloves will make your finger(s) easier to insert. Massage the anal ring and wait for it to relax and open up. Once it has, start pressing the tip of a single finger slightly into the anus. If you feel it tighten, stop, withdrawal your finger, and resume the anal massage for a couple of minutes. When her anus has relaxed again, slowly insert your fingertip again. Go slow and do not try to insert your entire finger in the beginning. In fact, only a small portion of your finger may enter before the anus tightens. If you go to fast, she may experience considerable discomfort, ruining the moment and possibly ending your exploration of anal sex. She can also learn to sense when her anus is tensed, and learn to relax it. Doing Kegel exercises while a partner's finger is inserted will help a woman learn how to do this. This will come in handy later when larger objects are inserted.

In the beginning you just want to insert your finger without moving it around. You want to condition her to the feeling of something being in her anus. She will likely enjoy the feeling of something being in her anus when she experiences orgasm. Once she is comfortable with being dilated, slowly start to move your finger in and out, and around. Gently stretch her anus by pushing outward on her anal ring. Once a woman has learned to enjoy the insertion of a single finger, start inserting a second. Always go slow and be sure she remains relaxed.

Once you are able to insert two fingers, you may want to acquire a couple "butt plugs" (or other small smooth objects) to help condition her to further dilation. You should never insert anything into the anus that does not have a flared base, as the rectum can draw objects in, and it can be difficult to get them out. Requiring an embarrassing trip to the doctor. Butt plugs come in many sizes, from the size of a slender finger, to the size of large fist. For the majority of people, a small and medium butt sized plug, 0.5 to 1.5 inches across, will do the job. For women who like the intense feeling of large objects being inserted, the sky is the limit.

Silicone dildos are the best choice as they are smooth, flexible, and easy to clean. They are more expensive, but will serve you far better in the long run. It is also a good idea to put a condom on the butt plug, or dildo; it will make clean up easier, and protect non-silicone toys.

To use a butt plug, massage and slowly dilate her anus with your finger(s) first. Once you are able to insert one or two fingers comfortably, place the small butt plug at her anal opening, then with a single finger, slowly press it in a little ways. Then allow her anus to push the butt plug back out. Then press it back in again. Using only a single finger to press in on the plug to help prevent you from using too much force. Very slowly repeat this process, inserting the butt plug a little further each time, if her anus permits it. Try to caress her clitoris while doing this. With patience the butt plug should slip all the way in and stay in place, due to its slender base. The smaller butt plugs may not stay in as well as larger ones, because their base is almost as big around as the largest part of the tapered section. Once the plug is in, leave it alone and make love to her. Perform cunnilingus and have vaginal intercourse if she so desires. More importantly, bring her to orgasm. Allow her to enjoy the feeling of something being in her anus during orgasm. After a couple sessions you can start to work the butt plug in and out, stimulating her anus. If she is comfortable with the butt plug being inserted, allow it to remain so for fifteen to twenty minutes to help condition her anus to dilation, after you are done making love. Many women may enjoy the feeling of the butt plug when it is inserted. It is okay to leave it in for longer periods of time if she is comfortable doing so. Once you are done, slowly slip the butt plug out, and wash and dry it in preparation for the next time. Once she learns to enjoy the small butt plug, switch over to the medium sized one; you may need to use the small one in preparation for the medium one during the same session. Go slow and have fun. Do not be goal orientated.

In preparation for anal intercourse you will probably want to buy a dildo that is equal in size to your penis, if you are male; lesbians can choose any sized dildo for their harness. Using a dildo will provide you with more control over the amount of pressure applied to the anus during insertion, and greater control over your own movements. Get one with a flared base so it cannot slip all the way in. Again silicone dildos are more expensive but a better buy. Slowly stretch her anus with fingers and butt plugs first, then slowly and gently insert the dildo. At first, just let her get use to the dilation. It does not have a small base, so her anus will be fully dilated all the time. This may be very intense for her. Allow her time to adjust to the greater constant dilation. When she is relaxed, slowly move the dildo in and out. Go very slow at first. Allow her to guide your movements. As always, be sure to bring her to orgasm.

 

I thought about that, I told her to relax and she is all for it. She even says we should keep trying, but I wount go with it if she is not into it you know.
I even did the whole pinch the tit for distraction of ass tension, didnt help.

 

Did you read my whole reply? C'mon it can work.

 

Lizzard.....Bless!!!!!!!!! Thanks, I will get on it. I knew slow pace and all, but lost control once I got into the mood and patience went out the door.

 

No Problem. peace and love

 

There is an easy trick for getting her to relax her butt.
have her get down on all fours and hold her head just off the bed/floor, so her butt is jacked up in the air. THis works every time. The weight of the intestines helps relax the anus. I can't explain it very well, but basically, in this position, the anus is strongly encouraged to relax. If she simply lets go of the muscles in her butt, the anus sometimes opens enough for you to insert a finger without even contacting the walls of the sphincter. I know these facts from experience.

Try it and let us know how it goes.

 

My boyfriend had the same problem with me. I really wanted to try it with him but no matter how much we tried it wouldn't work. YoungOne is right, if she isn't relaxed it wont happen. Eventually we stopped trying for a few months and then it was time again! I used a vibrating bullet toy on my clit so I would relax and it was a little distracting.. I was on my side and my ass out ready for him. He would kiss me and suck my earlobe and kiss my neck and this would turn me on so much that I wanted him and I didn't care where! It worked! Now I love it and can't get enough.. especially on my knees. It helps if you pay her lots of attention.. calm her down and tell her to breath slowly and deeply.. Good luck!

 

You have to wait until she's really trashed. That's when she'll be really loose.

 

My bf and I recently did it for the first time. We had the same problem, but read up on it and researched.
it'll hurt a little at first, so expect it. But trust me, its soo worth it. Use lots of lub; have her hold it open a bit with her fingers, then shove it in. Yeah, it hurts like hell at first, but after that it will feel soo good and will go in soo easily.