my boyfriend Rich is turning 21 in 2 weeks. im turning 18 in 1 week. we have been together for a year and a half. well apparently he's planning to ask me to marry him in the first half of the new year. anyway i love him to death and i can't even imagine him not being in my life. im just worried that when we get married (we planned for june 27th 2009 which would be our 3 year ann.) i'm going to be 19 and he'll be 22. all i hear is about how young marriages fail. i'm so scared that we will be a statistic and something will happen. our relationship is still pretty much perfect we don't fight, we are each others other half and people make it sound like it's impossible to be with one person forever now a days. i don't know what to do. i know you might think im immature or not ready but i've known what i wanted since i was a little girl. i've been in loooong relationships before but none of them were ever as amazing as this one. no one was ever this good to me. we know what we want. we both want to be teachers we both want 4 kids, we both want to live in a city, we want all of the same things out of our lives. and i honestly can't think of anyone i'd rather spend my life with than him. i don't know what to do. am i just letting statistics get to me? i truely honestly believe we can make it.
if you truly, honestly believe it will work...then truly, honestly make it work...it takes work, but anything is possible.... my parents were married when they were young..and they are still together...
Well, in my humble opinion...one should get married for reasons other than to make it last. Is divorce the problem or whatever caused divorce in the first place? Your anxiety is understandable, however, and I wish you guys the best.
I think you should wait a few years to get engaged. He hasn't had a chance to get all the guy sht out of his system. You haven't had a chacne to experience life yet. Don't have kids till at least 25, that's for damn sure.
i think youre letting yourself get wigged otu by statistics. if you expect the relationship to fail, then it will but theres nothign wrong with a long engagement either. my bf is planning on proposing when were around our 1 year mark, but were probably gonna be engaged for 2-4 years before we actually get married (have to save up money and all)
There's no reason to rush into things, thats how I see it. Just do what you feel is best for you guys... if you want to wait before getting engaged or married then wait and just see how it goes. Good luck though
Barabajagal - It sounds like you two are mature enough to take the big step. You have your futures mapped out well, and I say, do it! Young marriages fail when they have unrealistic expectations about married life, and when the two parties mature in different ways and are no longer compatable. Do a list of your likes and dislikes, and his, and see how they compare. It is often said that opposites attract, and this is true to a point, but couples with a lot in common often have happy marriages, and the differences often compliment each other.
He's more like the average guy than you think (and less like the average guy than I think). Anyhow, he hasn't grown up yet. That happens around 25-30 (at least the kind of growing up that I'm talking about). And you haven't experienced life yet. You're a 17 year old kid...c'mon.
ill be an adult in a week. im ready. you kind of have to know us and be around us to understand what im talking about. i might not be grown up on the outside but i definatly am on the inside. i really like cutted's idea about making the list.
Honestly, you just have to do what YOU want. Don't let the statistics get to you. Age doesn't mean anything any more. My husband and I are the same ages as you guys - I'm 19, he's 22... we got married last year when I was 18 and he was 21 (and engaged at 17 and 20) and we're expecting our first child in May. Everyone told us we were stupid for doing it, tried to change our minds, all kinds of ridiculous stuff. Obviously, it didn't work, and we're very happy together... I mean, it isn't all flowers and rainbows all the time, but at least that way, we know we can put up with each-others' shit and get over it, move on, and still be together the next day, or week, or whatever. What does it matter if you guys get married now, or wait until you're, say, 25 and 28? Or 27 and 30? Or... it could go on. Do it when you want, whether it's now or you want to wait until you're older. My uncle is well into his 30's and engaged to a woman with three kids, but they're waiting until AT LEAST 2010 to get married (it's his first marriage) and I see no more wrong with that than with what I did. You know when you find the right one, even if you don't feel the need to get married right away when you do.
