Advice on life

My dad just drove in from Florida. I hadnt seen him at all in months. Within the first few hours of him beig here he started questioning me about where I am going in life. It was clear to me that he feels as though I should change my thinking to resemble his. It almost pains me to hear some of his words. He tells me that life is all about getting "things" and getting a job. He says that "everyone" desires a woman and that all women want things. I try to explain to him that I am content with nothing but food and he says "you will never be happy". To me this says that he is stuck in a brainwashed societal view of life. He tells me I will never be happy if I do not conform to getting a job. He says that in order to be happy I must do what I dont want to do and become a low level work drone. What sort of advice is this? I live with my mother and am perfecly content living off of her. I do not believe it is essential to strive towards any goals or to buy women stupid crap and support them. I explain to him the Aristotle point of view regarding "happiness" as a falicy. He tells me that I have to get in touch with the "real world" and mocks Aristotle for his concepts. He tells me that it is immature to believe these things.
I see that his reality is sad and tormented. His entire life has been struggling towards a false sense of happiness in a dead end job. He is long since divorced, and tries to tell me about how the meaning of life is purely to find a woman to love and be with forever. He stresses that this can never happen if I do not shell out large sums of cash for gifts to her.
On a side note - does anyone else believe in the magic number 25? It seems to me that people throughout recent history have been weeded out at the age of 25 for not conforming to society. My father brings up this point by mentioning a relative of mine who died of "exposure" while living as a migrant at 25. He acts as though this is my likely fate. If the world is this horrible and enslaved, it wouldnt be so bad to die at 25. For all anyone knows death is stupendous.
The sad thing is I will soon be forced to get a crappy job because my mother will likely be going to prison. My father offers me a room with him (sounds opportunistic hahah) but tells me I must enroll at community college and hold down a job. I have no objections to this, I want badly to attend school. Anyone here have any suggestions for a job which would not make me go completely paranoid? Since my acid revelations going to a job is unpleasant. Watching people exchange money is unpleasant.
Does anyone have any advice for me? My interests are gardening and guitar. I also am in to eating healthy. I was thinking maybe a job at whole foods, but I have applied there before and have never had any luck.

edit: I would also like to add that throughout the conversation with my father I couldnt help but notice the glare from his wristwatch continually. It bothered me. It seemed as though a clock is being put on my existance as a free man. My father claims no man is free until he is working and self supportive but to me this seems excruciatingly oxy-moronic.

 

I"m not an expert but I think that maybe you should try a health clinic? maybe try to become a nurse or docter? (That is if you're not a weak stomached person). All I can really say is this: Do whatever feels right to you.

 

Yes I was considering the medical field. It is clear to me that many health professionals unknowingly practice unethical procedures and prescribe drugs which are unnecesary and dangerous. If I could achieve a position in health I may be able to advise healthier tactics to a handful of people. Whatever I do will be pointless anyway, but this is seemingly a little less pointless than most jobs I guess.

 

i have a job at the video store and it is sweet

 

I watched the documentary Ram Dass Fierce Grace

one part in particular I quite liked. When Ram Dass met the saint, his guide and guru. He asked him "how do I become enlightened". This saint said, "serve and feed people".

I actually just 2 days ago went out on a job hunt, maintaining in my mind "serve and feed people". This actually led me to apply at Whole Foods and a number of other cafe's and bakeries. No word yet.

Anyways. When people take the whole "what is happiness" tone with me.... For one, I don't think anyone who truly knows what happiness is will be trying rationalize and explain it. But, when someone does approach me trying to rationalize such things. Most people have gotten a glimpse of what they call enlightenment, ecstasy, pure euphoria, the sublime. Something, they always speak of as the peak. I just say, "you know sublimity is supposed to be permanent", or whatever word they use.

Which some people respond. But any response to that statement is essentially "no you are not allowed to be that happy, you can only be this happy".

 

You know what you gotta do. Play his game for a little while if you have to, or hit the road yourself, but it's obvious to me that you're someone who wants more from your life. You're in search of what makes you you, and that's the most important thing to find.

What are you thinking of studying?

Oh and whole foods sounds okay. My friend works at one, and he is a far out kinda guy, like me. But do you like dealing with people? I think it can be good to put yourself out there with situations that would drive you paranoid because when you come out on top in the end, you know that you're making it out there, and not in a sheltered world. When you close yourself off in your little corner, you aren't fighting the paranoia, just letting it grow in your mind as you hide. It's a way of admitting fear almost.

I mean it's good to have the security of home to decompress, but you toughen up a lot when you have to cope with unpredictability and friction. Get out there, see that the world really can't take that much from you after all, and you'll feel better each and every day.

I wish the best for you, you seem like a pretty cool person.

 

This is good advice. Many people struggle with having to operate within a system that is abhorrant to them for any number of reasons, but one must eat and live, and the freedom that is necessary to subvert the system requires that you play along for a bit. Pretend that you're a spy.

 

i would agree with your father about one thing. living off of your mother is not the right way to go. at this point in your life it is probably a good idea to stay with your mother until you know what you want to do. it is your mothers choice whether or not she wants to support you for longer not your fathers.

i was pleasantly surprised to read your words. at your age you already understand so much about life. i truly believe that when you decide that it is time to start supporting yourself you will be able to make a very wise decision. you are not going to make the same mistakes your father made.

when you said that you would be happy with just food to eat you were right - he is very wrong. money will never buy you happiness. what will make you happy is love and no amount of money will bring you love.

your right - this is a sick world and you are doing the right thing by avoiding all the bullshit about finding a good job with good money. what you need is a way to live and provide for your family in a way that you feel good about. figuring out what this is will take some time. only you know when you are ready to do something with your life - there is nothing worse than parents who try to push their children into a life they may not want. it is best to wait until you feel like doing something. at some point you will have to start supporting yourself(your mother wont live forever). it will probably be easier for you to find a way to support yourself early in life rather than waiting until she is dead and you are too old and inexperienced to do anything in the world.

i dont want to do what i am forced to do. i will not live at my parents. they are not good for me to be around that much - i had to get out of there before i went fucking crazy. so now i do a job that i dont care for until i my music career takes over. so - sometimes you have to do something you dont want to do just as basic survival- the world is full of people who are forced to do something they dont care about.(sad world) but there are many people in the world who are truly happy and in love working a job that they enjoy. it is possible.

i would suggest that you start thinking about what you are here for. what are you going to do in life? what do you bring to the world? how can you utilize your gifts to make you money to buy you food so you can continue to live. or you can move far away from the city and live off the land (if you have enough money to make that move). dont settle for anything you dont like and by all means do not listen to your father. unfortunately us humans have little choice when it comes to survival now a days. we cant afford to move away from the city, settle down and live off of the land - we would have to save up for our entire lives and then we would be to old to make that move anyways. life sucks - for most of us. you have to do your best to figure out how you will get through this life without being totally reliant on your mother - in that respect i understand why your father is worried but still i wouldnt listen to his advice as he cant even figure his own life out.

 

He probably just doesn't want you to be a bum. When nobodys around to feed you or provide a roof over your head anymore you need your own leg to stand on unless you want to roam the streets a homeless person, and if that's what floats your boat then nobody is going to tell you you can't. Nobody can 'make' you to conform to the bland ways of a mediocre life, but a source of income is what keeps most people on the go. You don't need lots of money or a companion to be happy, in fact what makes you happy is entirely up to you. If you feel you are living your life to the fullest so be it, but living off someone else may make your party come crashing down one day.

 

What does this have to do with lsd?...

 

Kinda what Buddha did. But that's a whole other thing. I don't think it takes an acid trip realization to make a person not want to go to a job they hate. That's just normal. Our world's values are fucked up. You put it pretty well. I wish I had a job at a video store. I love movies and could take great joy in sorting and talking about them. You don't have to do anything great in life. Just keep in mind what is mediocre to someone like your father may be great for you. I get a feeling it may take you two awhile to see eye to eye. Old people say idealism is a luxury only the young can afford. While you and i both seem to think your father has become conditioned into being a 9 to 5 drone racing with blinders on to his grave by a society whose values are totally backwards. I think going to college would do you good, but i think sticking it to your dad would do you and him good as well. Major in philosophy work in a head shop. Then make sure to tell your dad what you learned at school that day, everyday.

 

lol elfin your dad and my dad would get along

 

LMAO

"Dude, na, let me show YOU the perfect product for YOU"

 

Well to be free, you have to understand the pains and joys of living without money, without society, and without relying on others. Right now I'm stuck on a similar situation: I'm living with my parents waiting to graduate high school. Right now we're both contemplating how to live life with happiness.


My plan is to go to a four year college for mechanical engineering. This summer I'm going to be a nomad for a month or so just to see what its like living without. I'll probably spend most of that time in the wilderness, living off of the many edible plants, fish, and small game (and whatever else comes my way). After that I will know how freedom tastes, and will know myself that much better. Then I will go and attend college for four years and obtain my degree and a lot more knowledge and wisdom. After that I will have utter and complete freedom and will then make the big decision: Do I live with money or without it?

With money, I know I could easily climb the corporate ladder, but to what point? There is no reward in making a lot of money, just more stresses and worldly distractions. Without money, your only concerns are your needs, and you are the only one responsible for yourself. No one to let you down. Throughout my life I have always made sure to be as selfreliant as parents would let me, and I do not rely on a single friend to help me anymore because I have learned that you can't count on people.

Hopefully this knowledge helps you, it has taken a while to assemble all of this!

 

I met a very intelligent man at SCC who had 8 years and a phd in analytical philosophy. He was teaching art courses. I consider him to be like a mentor of mine. Philosophy is true knowledge. I do want to major in philosophy. I think I will stick to this decision because this sort of learning fully arouses my interests and keeps me yearning for additional perspective. I strongly believe that philosophy is akin to higher thinking and to me it seems that much of philosophy is a product of the use of mind expanding chemicals such as lsd. Looking at the world at an angle of pure truth. Anyone else taking philosophy courses? Oh and I think I will talk to the manager of Whole foods soon and try to convince her to hire me. The 20% employee discount is too good to pass up!

 

Dude first off Death is not the answer at all. You are still young yet and got alot of life to live even though it might suck right now.That being said I think your father has some vaild points and some not so valid points? I do agree that sooner or later you are going to have to get a job to support yourself unless you are content with being homeless ? I agree to a point that a relationship is healty and does bring happyness. Or should I say the right relationship ??? But it can also bring alot of other bad emotions and pain. Love is great at the best of times and down right horrible at the worst. I would think if you are attracted to women sooner or later you are going to want a woman to spend your time with and eventuly your life ? I know I love having a girl in my life right now. But there have been times I have hated having a girlfriend and its made things worse there have also been times I am happy being alone also. The bottom line is right now I would do whats best for your future even though you might hait it now. atlest his way you will set a good foundation for yourself and your future and later in life you will be able to do the things you want and will have the income to do it. Like another poster said play your fathers game for now and go along with his demands like getting a Job and going to school, When you are ready to go out on your own and have the funds you can go and live on your own with your own set of rules and your own set of values. I think later in life you will be happy as hell you got some skills from college so you don't have to bust your ass the rest of your life working at low end jobs. As for being a gardener there are alot of places you could look at like plant and flower nurseries, and estate that needs a gardener,land scaping company that needs a gardener to plant, go onto your state website and look under state parks and see if any parks or nature preserves have any openings. also you would have to be around people but plant depot and other plant and flower stores always need people to work with flowers !

 

The only reason you're questioning all these things is because you have the luxury of doing so. You're living off other people for free, which may seem fine, but incase you didn't realise everyone has to do something in life or at the end of the day you're just a lazy free loader. It's pretty self-absorbed to say 'my father is interfering with my free existence' - go and get some aspirations, take advantage of the fact that you live in the western world where you can get payed a fair wage or get some form of free education, cos others in this world would do anything to have those luxuries.

 

"incase you didn't realise everyone has to do something in life or at the end of the day you're just a lazy free loader." - I see...
Answer this, what do you have against so-called "lazy free loaders?" I am sensing some animosity in your phrasing. I have held a job ever since I was 13 years old. At 13 I asked my dad for 5 dollars to go get some food. He told me that no "allowances" will be given at this house. He put me to work in the fast-food joint he was managing under a false identification. I was too young to take money or cook so everyday he would have me scrub every appliance and crevice of the store until it was spotless. I am recently out of a job ever since i quit my last job about 6 months ago, and I have never been happier than now.

"take advantage of the fact that you live in the western world" - There are many flaws with this world young lady, and unless you have ever tried any other way of life I highly recomend you think twice before glorifying the western world. If you want to believe a few crappy appliances makes our life any better than ancient tribal nomads then at least have enough respect for other peoples to admit that you have no basis for the assumption you made about "luxuries." How can a person believe that any wage is a luxury. Money is the root of all evil. It has been said over and over again.

Why not tackle this brain teaser. If we are so advanced (which we are) whey do we still allow people to go hungry? It is a complete joke. There is no reason to allow this to happen, it is a problem that could be solved permanently with a peasly couple of billion dollars. Think about it, if no one had to go hungry, then no one would ever do any real work. Anyone who ever worked hard to kick others in the throat would have nothing to make themselves feel big and accomplished. We are "aspiring" to these ideals or goals which have been set by some rich guy who has us all fooled. In the grand scheme of things, you impact nothing. The only impact you have is on the people close to you, the people you are talking to and influencing everyday. You are not going to invent the next new computer technology, face it, the technology we are presented with is quite mediocre compared with what must really exist.

 

Yes I am very happy about free education, but it is only free up to the point where I am at now. College costs money. School is a two way street, and in my experience the majority of people are not williing to listen to anyone elses opinion but their own. A major problem is that a person could learn nearly all the facts this earth has to offer and understand none of it, but another person could learn very few key facts and understand everything that is relavent about life today.