Wife caught me and now is pissed

wife caught me after the fact and wanted to know why I did it
did I get turned on watching naked women in porn or in mags told her yeah, told her I even did it to some mags with women in bikini, she really blew up at that, didnt see how I could get off to someone in bikini, asked how did I keep from doing it when we at the beach or anywhere in public when I see a hot babe i told her I have control but she freaked out and is acting all hurt and mad like I hurt her feelings. thought I wasnt wanting her anymore

I love my wife but I would rather do it myself than with her all the time
she now knows that I have turned her down for sex because I had already masturbated

we were out of town for almost a week and when we got back she went to store and I jacked off to video of 2 women making out. she wanted sex that night and I tried but couldnt finish and when she found out I had masturbated she flipped wanted to know why I couldnt wait on her

 

Oh boy. I'm not married, so I don't know as much as some.
That sounds like a tricky situation.

All I can say for sure is
Good luck. you have my sympathy.

~A

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with masturbating, but remember your wife's feelings. She may have underlying emotional issues that are brought to the surface when you don't have sex with her. Maybe in past relationships, she was constantly told that she was inadequate sexually, and she is bringing this baggage along.

Maybe look at the situation from her angle. What if she masturbated and decided that she didn't want sex with you when you were super horny? I don't think you would flip out like she did, but it might hurt you feelings.

I can understand why she would feel unwanted. From her view, you have a woman who is wanting you BAD sexually, but you would rather jerk off to porn. She might feel that she isn't turning you on, that she's not attractive to you anymore, or she is competing with porn stars for sex. This can take a toll on women b/c we in general tend to blame ourselves for issues that have absolutely nothing to do with us.

I understand that you don't want to only have sex with her; you want personal time too. Perhaps you might masturbate when she is gone for a couple days, while taking a shower in the morning (most men recover enough to have sex later that night), or while you are away.

Does your wife masturbate? If she enjoys it, perhaps you could have couple's masturbating time while watching porn. Who knows what wild ideas might develop...

Peace and love

 

YOu would not believe what I have put up with. SHe wants to know where, why, how many times, how I can get a hardon looking at a woman in a bathing suit. it is endless question after question. what am I thinking while I am doing it. what does she think I am thinking? come on now, I can imagine what she would say if I told her I was imagining being between another woman's legs

 

It is obvious that she is scared that you don't want her anymore. Maybe reassure her that it is not true?

Peace and love

 

I tell her I love her repeatedly and I do nice things for her. the sex is okay but I like looking at the mags and videos. I dont do it a lot but enough to decrese my wanting to do it with her I guess. she just gets me with the questions she comes up with. I dont want to hurt her but if she doesnt leave it along, I guess I will have to just tell her that I find these women attractive.

 

Look, actions speak louder than words. If you constantly tell her that you love her and do nice things for her, and then later that night decide to masturbate instead of having sex with her, nothing that you did previously means jack shit to your wife. She has problems with it and her questions are a defensive reaction to being hurt. She has issues with being insecure and you getting off with other women (even if it's just pictures) just makes the situation worse. You're feeding her insecurities. If you can't see this, then there is a lot more problems than just sex.

Peace and love

 

I think that She should give you a good spanking you if you are cheating on Her.

 

I dont think I would ever cheat on her but she needs to get over this and move on

 

Masturbation is healthy and natural, but then again so is sex. You should be having more sex with her. She wants it...ur lucky! Go for it. Do something to stimulate the sex to make it more interesting. Try sensual massages before hand, more foreplay, toys, pain (if ur into that) etc. Spice it up!

 

she will do anything in or out of bed, but it just isnt working for me I can have sex with her but a here lately it is hit or miss if I get off during it

 

Jerk in the shower. If she catches you, tell her it's your dick and you'll wash it as fast as you want to.

 

she is too damn sneak and manipulative, I dont know how the hell she is doing it but somehow she knows everytime I do it. I need to know how the hell she is figuring it out. even if I do it straight into the commode while looking at a mag she knows it I even told her if I had done it in the commode the time she caught me she never would have known but somehow she seems to

any ideas on what she might be doing
I have checked for cameras and all and havent turned up anything
I dont use a towel anymore cause that is how she got me

 

Maybe re-evaluate your relationship?

If masturbating is THAT important to you and it bothers her as much as you say, there is probably something else going on in your relationship that is the underlying problem. Plus, your attitude of hiding it from her kind of says "I don't care about your feelings. I'm going to do it whether you like it or not!" Perhaps that is what she is most upset about. There is something else going on here.

Peace and love

 

According to your report she is sneeky and manipulative. You are (trying to) keeping secrets from her about something that she cares about. (It don't matter if she's right, she still cares about it.)

She's sneaky and you're learning how to be. There are problems beyond who spanks your monkey.

 

she just told me she is leaving after the holidays. makes me a bit sad but at least now I wont have to listen to her constant nagging about it

 

Why not try a different approach. Do her first, that is, feel her up, finger her, work it till she cums. Have her rub against your dick, doesn't matter if you cum, just make sure she cums. THEN, have her jack you off.

Then next time you have the urge, do something unexpected, walk up to her and ask her to do the deed for you. If you can get her to do it, picture her just getting nailed by several guys all at once, tell her about it, you're scared she'll do it in front of you, stuff to let her have some control.

Have her dress up and "discipline" you, if you can do her, then ask her to stand there and you jack off in front of her.

As her to dress up sexy, hose, short skirt, bathing suit, and jack off in front of her.

Make a video of her and as her to jack you off watch her. She'll feel better if she knows you JO fantasies are about her.

 

she is the furtherest thing on my mind when I JO. That is the problem. she is being unreasonable, thinks it all should only be about her

 

Nice to know I am the furtherest thing on your mind when you are doing that and that you will be sad if I move out after Christmas. I really love you too you jackass. (Yes, I am being sarcastic here.) So go jackoff, masturbate, whatever, until your hand falls off, just do NOT expect me to be sitting here waiting.

 

Oh yes, I am really pissed now!