My Best Friend's Dilemma

My best friend got married to my 1st cousin (like a sister to me), back in 2000. They moved away and came back around Summer of 2005.

He and I developed a good friendship and like to spend one night per week sitting in one of our backyards drinking and talking.

We live less than 100 yards away. There is no driving home. We walk.

In the beginning everything was cool, but now his wife has turned into a clingy little child. She actually pouts now. A 35 year old woman!

He has attempted to accomodate her over and over, by taking her out to super nice restaurants, buying her clothes, just spending time with her, taking care of her cats, etc.

He works hard and brings in the money and all he asks is this one night to relax with a friend as opposed to the other six nights he sits at home with her watching whatever she wants to watch.

She is always "sick" or "upset" now. Or the cat is "acting weird."

Several times she would call his cell phone right when we started and say, "I'm scared" when we were RIGHT THERE IN HIS BACK YARD.

She has completely reverted back to a 6 year old, but wants to have complete control of his life.

So, what happens when he gives in to her demands to come home? She goes to bed, and goes to sleep. But, he NEEDS to be there?

He is about at the end of his rope and I don't blame him.

I asked my wife why she would do that, and she said that she was just being a bitch.

Family or no family ties...THAT IS BULLSHIT!

Any advice?

 

tell her he needs guy time, he gets one night a week of guy time, and that she needs to mellow out because she is being way more high strung than you remember her

i know shes family but you arent the kind of guy whose shy about telling the truth, are you? you can phrase it nicely, but really, she needs to be told about her behaviour and that its unacceptable

 

I've thought about telling her, but I just didn't want to butt in to his business.

You know, take control of a situation, and he feel resentful that I did.

But, I've told him the same thing. I just don't think he has the guts. I think he'd leave her before he'd stand up to her.

 

shitty

then maybe next time you see her, jokingly tell her to butt out or something. but if you do it subtly like that, itll take a while before it has even a remote chance of sinking in

 

I dunno, but that's pretty weird.
My husband spends almost every Friday night at my brother's house. Even if my brother isn't home, he's roommates with one of my cousins, and they all get along really well, so the husband goes anyway to hang out with Tyson and/or Matt...
And my biggest problem is "God dammit, I STILL can't get to sleep easy, even without that 200lb. rock snoring next to me".

They've been married for 7 years, and she can't let him go once in a while? I've been married for a year and a few months, I'm pregnant, and I'm GLAD to send him out drinking with my brother once a week!
It's hard to say. Obviously she has no reason not to trust him or anything, and she even uses the cat as an excuse for him to stay home?! I used to use the dog as a reason for him to not worry about leaving me alone at night!

That really is a hard one..

 

jokingly say next time you see her ... don't let the door hit you on the way out...

I know (i'm not siding w/ her) but some women like myself like security. Mind you, i don't lock my husband up either. We have our time apart, hes a band and i have friends i hang with we know we need time apart, tell her to go find a hobby? When i was younger i had a lot of bad things happen to me like strangers walking up to my door trasvestives walking in my drive way and getting molested so i can/not see both sides of the picture.