Well, this is the situation... Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3 months. When we were first together he told me that I was his 7th sexual partner. Which was definitely more than me; he was my 2nd, so it kinda bothered me a little bit but I got over it. well now, a couple of days ago he told me that I was really his 11th. Idk, this really bothers me alot. When I asked him why he didnt tell me the truth in the first place he said because he knew that I wouldnt want to be with him (which is probably true) He says that the majority of them was between when her was 13(when he lost his virginity) until he was 17 and has only been with 3 ppl since. Hes clean and all but this is driving me crazy. I know its something that I need to just get over though.. has anyone been in this type of a situation or know what i can do to try to stop myself from being disgusted with him??
idk.. i guess its just b/c hes so much more experinced than me and ive seen a coupleof the girls and he introduced me to them.. only for me to later find out that they were people he has slept with.. i mean not like he hangs out with them we just ran into them... Idk. it just freaks me out a little ... it also has alot to do with the way he did it.. like threesomes and stuff...
Personally, I don't care about my fiance's past sexual history. It doesn't matter how many girls he has had sex with before me- what matters is that he is not fucking anyone else while we are together. Peace and love
You shouldn't be too concerned. I've slept with 7 men and the guy I'm seeing has slept with many more than that and I told him, as long as you're clean it doesn't bother me. And it shouldn't bother you either. It has nothing to do with how he feels about you.
yeh i know exactly what you mean... my current boy has been with a lot of people and ive only been with a few. and it was a bit disconcerting at first and pissed me off. i think the main reason was that i thought if he's slept with so many people then am i just another notch? kind of thing... i think in my mind i felt like i wasnt special to him... which is a little bit silly... although i think there may be some truth to it... it was really weird when we first started dating he told me about all these encounters he'd had - i was never really sure why he told me all that stuff - it certainly made me feel crap hearing about these amazing times he'd had with other girls... i think now he thought he was impressing me or something. anyway point is... i think if they have stopped for this long to be with us then we must be better than all those other chicks hey
He was young, dumb and experimenting and having fun. If he didn't do it now, he'd do it later in life and be more tempted to fuck around while with you. It's actually a good thing he did all that at an early age, now he knows what he likes/doesnt likes, and he obviously likes you. Try not to be disgusted with him, sounds like he really likes you and doesn't want his sexual past to be an issue between you two. Hope everything sorts itself out for you :]
good thing you didnt ask me at 20 something.. i couldnt keep count.. i find it funny that its a issue with you. i remember in my teens having a issue about women /girls with more experience than me but that was because i was self conscious about performing for them with less experience.this doesnt seem to be your issue. what disgusts you about his past? are you better than those other girls? What does his past sexual experiences have to do with the 2 of yalls current relationship? i feel these questions need to be answered before we can go any further here. so if you break up with him over this,,youll be at 3(i assume yall have had intercourse),then if you have issues with the next,4,then possibly 5.. are you just going to quit having sex if this doesnt work out so as not to have your current count rise?
Yes I do think I am better than them...most of them (as he tells me) were unfaithful to him. Its not that I care about my count(2) or whatever.. or that I want to break up with him.. I just really need to figure out how to not let it bother me.. My last boyfriend was a virgin and I never felt like he would one day decide that he liked one of his past girlfriends better.. I guess thats how I feel about it
you feel your better but you worry he will like one better?? hmmmm, well if your that insecure,perhaps your not mature enough for a relationship... its really not fair to him for you to be insecure in the relationship. youve already admitted to having trust issues because of it(liking a past GF better). if your insecure about past relationships that he has had,inevitably theres going to be jealousy when it comes to other situations,and quite frankly those feelings are unfounded and baseless. so ,my opinion,which is what you asked for, untill you learn to deal with your insecurities your not ready for a committed relationship..
all tha above is good advise but one important element needs to be dealt with here. taking as given that the past is to be forgotten in relationships, i would enjoin yo to consider this. if you are confident in and of yourself. if you know that you please him sexually and him you, which keeps you together.great! but if even a smidgeon of your discomfiture is because you are feeling inferior...my take......then it is your task to become such an assured and vital woman that he or any other man will be a good boy because you are with him. get self confidence then you wont give a damn what he's done.you'll know your the best!
You're gonna have to get over it. Your next boyfriend will have slept with over 20. Your current guy is practically a virgin. As you get older you'll look back on this and laugh.
