Say you are married and your husband is working with this lady you knew from high school and you know she was real easy then. So you ask your husband to please not talk to her. (The wife is going through a real emotional/physical crisis, she was very young and had to have a hysterectomy, so her hormones were seriously out of whack.) Anyway, after arguing about this, the husband PROMISES the wife he isnt talking to this girl. After a couple of weeks, he tells you that she is his friend, and he had been talking to her the whole time. Well, you suck it up and get over it, even though you are hurt because he chose to pick his friendship with her over you and how you were feeling and knowing that you were going thru a hormonal up and down situation that had you all screwed up. Anyway, years later, he tells you that everyone thought they were having an affair, he tells you that he stayed on her job longer than he did on any of the other womens jobs (He worked with a bunch of women.) He then tells you that he knows he could have had her if he had chosen to pursue it EVEN THOUGH NOTHING was ever said out of line by either of them. He also tells you that when he started going to work earlier to open the place up for his boss, that this girl was always already there when he was there. He says nothing ever happened. Then you tell him that you talked to his old boss, and she says that HE requested to come in and open things up, so when you tell him this, he says well, uh, yeah, I wanted the overtime.
I love him, but I have to question why he waited years to tell me that there were rumors about them having an affair. Also, why would he tell me that he could have had her if he had chosen to pursue it? Is there not always some small element of truth in a rumor?
My biggest thing with the whole issue is that he lied to me about talking to her all those years ago. I know it was stupid of me to ask him not to, but you have to understand, I was only 28 years old, had cancer and after my hysterectomy I was a wreck. My ovaries would work, then stop, so I was continuously for about 6 months being put on medication, taken off, put back on, and etc... I realize now that at the time it was a very unreasonable request, but just having him come back years later telling me all this stuff is crazy and it makes me remember how I felt thinking that her friendship was more important to him than my feelings even though they were unrational, but he should have understood as he knew what I was going thru. I am trying to digest it and he gets mad at me and I am like, you could have kept this to yourself. There was no reason for you to even mention it. I kind of feel like he is trying to confess to something but at the last minute backed out.
If I try to talk to him, he gets really irate and starts calling me a bitch, blah, blah, blah and I just found out that he even asked one of his friends if he had room for him at his place.
the other thread where I was pretty well classed as crazy and need to seek help? LOL, there are more issues going on, but he could have very well kept this info to himself, therefore preventing any type of confrontation over it. I am paranoid, but I feel like he has put me in that position by lying to me. Even after he told me he would always tell me the truth from now on, (since the incidents in the other thread from September, first of October), he has still lied about some things that he just eventually came clean about night before last
I feel like he is the one who has done wrong by lying in the first place, but yet I feel like it is always me on trial. I cant get mad or be really vocal about how I feel because he always loses control, but then that is my fault to because he says I provoke him, not to mention that when I get upset and cry, he is so coldhearted, he ridicules me and makes smartass comments to me, shows no compassion whatsoever.
no, I really dont. I want him to be honest, but why bring up something that happened years ago, we havent talked about that in years. All it did was make me more pissed at him.
