Please help

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Confucius lol, Nov 11, 2007.

  1. Confucius lol

    Confucius lol Member

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    Alright, this might sound pathetic, but oh well. I'm 14 and haven't ever had a girlfriend. There's a girl I really like, and I've wanted to ask her out for a long time, but I'm too shy around girls, and I don't know how to ask a girl out. What should I do?
     
  2. salmon4me

    salmon4me Senior Member

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    Do you talk to her often? Do you make her laugh?

    Might want to ask her to do something that's not too 'datey' if ya know what I mean. Something where she won't have to worry about pressure. Some sort of friendly FUN activity.
     
  3. His Eden

    His Eden Queen of Mean

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    What is wrong with being 14 and not having a girlfriend?

    I have a son a little older than you are, and he was pretty shy at the beginning of the school year. When he was setting up his class schedule we made sure he had a couple classes that were fun. His art class has really helped him get over being shy. I base that on the handprints on the seat of his jeans. Yeah, wait until you have to explain rainbow hued handprints on your ass to your mom. ;) Anyway, talk to girls in your classes. Even if you don't want to date them, they may be able to give you some tips. It will also make the idea of talking to a girl you like a little less daunting.

    Oh, and being a little shy can be a good thing. Some girls find it irresistable. Not too shy though.....
     
  4. Confucius lol

    Confucius lol Member

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    I talk to her a little bit almost every day I'm in school, and sometimes I make her laugh. The problem with that suggestion is anytime I try to do that, I freeze up and can't get the words out.
     
  5. Confucius lol

    Confucius lol Member

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    lol, wow, I wish that would happen to me. :p
    I can talk to girls normally. It's asking them out that's the problem.
     
  6. salmon4me

    salmon4me Senior Member

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    Try to imagine that you just asking your boy to go shoot some hoops or whatever. Totally casually ya know? The kind of thing where she might not even realize that you just asked her out.
     
  7. Hyphy

    Hyphy Duke of Earl

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    There's nothing wrong bro, you're a young buck. Approach anxiety is genetically hard wired into our being. If you're afraid of asking her directly to go out with you try it indirectly. Try this:

    (in a kind of upset tone)"Damn, I have to go to the mall to look for something(it doesn't matter what). (Now in a CONFIDENT, it's nothing tone) You should keep me company. It'll be fun."

    If she says she can't say you understand. When you see her again express that you had a good time, without bragging. Next time you ask her to go with you somewhere she will. Bet. If she says yes, you're set! Kick it at the mall, go to eat do your thing but, make sure you express your interest in her when you do this to avoid being pulled into the friendship zone. Good Luck!
     
  8. Confucius lol

    Confucius lol Member

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    Although I appreciate the advice, the problem, as I've said, isn't how I'm trying to ask her out. It's just getting the words out that's the problem.
     
  9. Confucius lol

    Confucius lol Member

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    Might work if I was blindfolded and had no interest in her. Thanks for the advice though.
     
  10. hippie_chick666

    hippie_chick666 Senior Member

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    Ask if she would like to get something to drink, like coffee or smoothies? Something that you would do with or without her. Then it seems considerate of you to invite her along. It's not as much pressure as having dinner or lunch together.

    Peace and love
     
  11. Confucius lol

    Confucius lol Member

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    Well, the only time I really see her is at school, and there aren't many oppurtunities to do something like that during school.
     
  12. theongoingwow

    theongoingwow Member

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    You're 14, of course you've never had a date. Find out what she likes and bring up a mutual interest with her, then ask her out. It really isn't hard.. believe me.
     
  13. Confucius lol

    Confucius lol Member

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    I have an idea. Today at school, we had an assembly and pretty much messed around outside for extended lunch. Well, she was dressed up for the assembly, and she looked amazing! Maybe I should mention something about it next time I see her on Monday. What do you guys think?
     
  14. ruski

    ruski Senior Member

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    when im really nervous about talking to someone i just make myself do it. i walk right up to them and even though my body is freezing up i force my legs to move... then by the time im facing them and they are looking at me i have no other option but to talk and i sort of forget how nervous i was
     
  15. Confucius lol

    Confucius lol Member

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    Wow, I never thought of that. But I still don't know exactly what I should say to her...
     
  16. raul7

    raul7 Member

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    If you feel like this girl would make a really good gf, that you'd have a great time together etc, try not to rush things.

    start slow, hang out, see what happens.

    You're very young, very VERY young, all the time in the world.

    Make some mistakes, learn from them, move on.

    :]
     

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