To Hippie "Weirdo's" Everywhere The universe sings.... it's your soul. the cars on the street watch them roll. wheels they're turning flashing eyes burning everyone's learning to drive for as long as they're alive. live in your mind and you'll only find you live in an attic... repetition and static live in the now you already know how just like you did when you were a kid now listen to me cause I want you to see how because you are here I am free When I think of you all I can do Is think "That's who I am" and then I can jam Of course, everyone's me, but I like to see myself as the ones that I love It makes me shine It makes me sing like the stars of your soul all above brothers and sisters, peace restlesss worries ceace this poem's a magical charm to bless and protect you from harm
Actually, in a really odd and dorky way, this is kind of endearing. I guess because it seems very unassuming and hopelessly extroverted, like something from the acid casualty who didn't end up thinking that he was an orange and everyone wanted to peel him. It reminds me of an awkward rhyme this beggar came up to me with one night, and that was pretty charming too... I gave him a few bucks no problem. And I'm glad you didn't say it's a good idea to live inside your mind-- because it isn't. For once, someone isn't saying 'look within'!!! And the ending kind of sealed the deal-- it's like one of those Fantasy/Quest-type video game chants or something, except it's for homeless people trying to survive on the crazy streets... and I mean that in a good way.
lol I'm not afraid to say it...it's crap. Not really sure why I posted it...got other ones l like better, but this one was about hippies. It kind of makes me a little sick to read it,though. I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I wrote it or when I posted it. aaaugh
^sometimes we dont think when we're writing, i do it often and finish off with a big X! writing things that maybe arent very substantial is how we learn to recognize fluff and instead write things that are concrete...so keep writing, no matter if it's "crap" or not...it still flows well!
Yeah I liked it too, I like your attitude ! Well at least I think I do, but I might have been looking at it all wrong ?! Anyway blah blah blah, well done !! .
