I hope it's ok for me to post here as a girl who is interested in girls, not a lesbian, I haven't decided on anything yet...anyway, I've noticed alot of negative attitudes towards bi people (not here, on tv, like the lipstick lesbian special and logo and stuff) and I don't understand why... I can see where you might think it's impossible and they just want attention but you have to put some thought into this, I mean if you can like the same sex, why not both? Why focus on what you don't have in common rather than what you do?
I think most of that comes because a lot of girls say they are bisexual without knowing the true meaning of the word. They will kiss a girl and be like "i'm bisexual!" when really they aren't. Or maybe a girl will sleep with another girl and claim they are bisexual but I doubt they could ever have a long term relationship with a woman. Or some girls will claim they are bisexual and really are just slutty girls. I get very cautious of dating someone claiming to be bisexual. Because I only date woman and i'm looking for a female who is experienced in relationships with women and aren't there to "try it out" or whatever. So the term gets thrown around and that is why bisexuals have a bad reputation. With that said, I do understand that there are real bisexuals out there. I have a very close friend who is, and I take her very seriously. I just don't take serious those who have no idea what that means.
I know there are alot of reasons lesbians get irritated with "bi" women. However, I dont believe that every lesbian has a problem with bi women. I used to consider myself bi...then realized it was just a cop out. It was easier than fully coming out. More socially acceptable? I dunno. Or the fact that I was married to a man for 4 years. I knew I shouldnt have married him but we got together when I was 16. My mom died when I was 18, I had a baby and I was scared. I didnt want to be alone or have to take care of myself. So I guess the "bi" label was to make myself feel better about the bad decision I had made, when I knew I was a lesbian. I know alot of the lesbians where I live get irritated with bi women because we live in a small town. And the larger cities around us, arent even that large. So its hard to meet women. They feel like, "If they like men too, then leave the girls alone, and let us have them." My ex-girlfriend felt that way. Not saying I agree with her. But maybe thats part of the negativity aimed towards bi-women.
i see what you mean about miss-using the term and that whole...leave the lesbians for other lesbians thing, although I think thats a little...bad? because thats like saying a caucasian woman has no business dating an african american man and she should leave him for other african american women.
I admittadly have found myself on occasion a little annoyed with people who say they're bisexual, but only in cases when I really do highly doubt the person actually is attracted to the same sex as well. I don't know about elsewhere, but in england being bisexual seems to be the new 'cool' thing to do among younger people. It's great that people are growing up to be so open-minded, but I do get annoyed with the term being thrown around so much. With people who are genuinely attracted to both sexes, I have no problem with. Great stuff, good for them.
I agree with Wynter and Mystic. I don't have a problem with bi women out there doing their own thing at all. I just don't think I could date a woman who appears as if she doesn't know what she wants and is inexperienced. I understand the concept of "you love who you love, no matter what gender" and I think that is awesome, but alot of bisexual women and men don't see it that way. For some, it's just a good time when they are drunk.
The way i see is that you can't always put a label on people. It's crap that people can't be bisexual, it's greedy, just for attention bla bla bla. You can have different 'spectrums'. And as for girls who find girls sexually attractive but are not into serious relationships, then where's the harm as long as they are honest and aren't leading anyone on.
I think sometimes the term bisexual is used as a catch-all. I'm a lesbian, but I am in a relationship with a man, because that is what works for both of us. It's complicated and messy and in a few years it might not be what I want, but right now, it works for me. And the few people that I have come out to who know my male partner have all responded "so...you're bisexual." because my life and my relationship does not fit into a simple box or definition then the only way some people can understand it is to call it "bisexuality". but it is not. I guess my overall point is that the term is both underused and not well defined.
I don't really think I fit into any category of sexuality. But people love their labels, so rather than argue with every sap I have a conversation with, I go along with their assumption that I am "bisexual". I seem to identify with that more than anything else, so I guess I'll just go from there. When I first came out, I came out as a lesbian, but time went on, my girlfriend and I broke up, and the next person I had feelings for was a male. Life just comes and goes.. I do consider myself more attracted to girls than guys, usually, though.. But then again, it depends on the girl and the guy. It's all relative.
i have a friend who says she's bi but isn't i have a few lesbian friends and of those lesbian friends i have a few lesbian friends who rlly were "bi now, gay later" (including myself) and i have a bi friend who i take seriously so i'm figuring that at least at my age there are ppl who say they're bi to say it there're ppl who say they're bi cuz they're horny there are ppl who say they're bi transitionally and there are bi individuals who don't narrow love down to gender (serious respect for them) fitting so much into one category can be confusing it can also be frustrating and if u divide up those 4 categories it translates to only a quarter of those types actually being bi which makes the stigma make sense cuz then 75% of these ppl would b bullshitting in one way or another not that anyone knows the real percentages and this reasoning is mathematically off this is just rationalization because like any stigma this stigma is irrational
