I need your opinions on this!!! :)

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by Stella_Drives, Sep 14, 2007.

  1. Stella_Drives

    Stella_Drives Senior Member

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    Recently, I transfered colleges and I was bombarded by facebook friend requests by a bunch of girls (all lesbians, or atleast that's what their facebook said) I don't know/ have never met. I'm talking like 10-12 new requests over a week. So I messaged them something like "Hey, I don't believe we've met before. I was wondering how you knew me or if your just adding all the other lesbians at school. Thanks" They weren't looking to date me either, I'm listed as in a serious relationship.

    Personally, I think it's absurd just to because friends with someone based on sexual preference. I'm not saying i don't agree with supporting each other, I have run/ started GSA's before but adding me as a friend just because we are both gay is ridiculous. It's segragation. It's like if I added a bunch of other brown haired people because we have brown hair. Or if I added all the other jews.

    If we are trying to gain rights and become equal in the eyes of the societies we live in, we must intergrate and come into the lives of as many people as possible to shatter their views of lesbians and gays and to only view you as "friend".

    What I'm trying to say is I don't feel we as the homosexual community should segragate ourselves like that. Sure, we need the support of the community, but when you are JUST friends (I'm talking in real life, not facebook. I know some lesbians that exclusively hang out with other lesbians and gays, besides interacting with people at work.) with other gays and only DEFINE yourself as "lesbian" and not "poet, or environmentalist or republican" we are definately moving in the wrong direction.

    What's everyone else's views? I feel like my views are really different then the majority of lesbians I've met recently...
     
  2. zaras_star

    zaras_star Member

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    I understand and agree with you. I have had a similar experience lately. I just moved from my hometown into a bigger city an hour away. My hometown is very small, conservative, and 'closeted.' There really isn't a gay community there and I only know of a couple of people who are openly gay. I tended to ally myself with an artsier crowd starting in high school and some of us just happened to be gay, as well. It didn't matter if we were male or female, straight or gay. We all had common interests that brought us together. I've been a little surprised since I've moved because I've heard more than once from the lesbians that I've met that either a) they don't have straight friends or b) they don't have male friends. To each our own I suppose, but my mindset is that we are all one. Sure, I prefer women. I freakin' love us! And there are parts of me that I can only share with another woman. BUT we are all human and we can find things in common with each other that bring us together on different levels. It's called COMMUNITY. Tolerance. Compassion. We need it.
     
  3. almost free

    almost free Member

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    I'm so glad that someone else shares my thoughts on this issue. I find it difficult to take ppl seriously when they ask for tolerance, but choose their friends on such close minded criteria. It's almost like heterophobia.
     
  4. unlearn.and.be.free

    unlearn.and.be.free Guest

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    it's true...some people are heterophobic, i believe that. but there are also separatist lesbians...and lesbians who find heterosexual people straight up BORING. lol. but yes, it's totally not cool to just close yourself off to anyone and anyone just because they are straight.
     
  5. nodirectionhome

    nodirectionhome Member

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    I'm not sure I agree with the idea that it's possible to be "heterophobic." I realise that there may be some queer people who don't want to be around heteronormative people, but I'm not sure I would call that "heterophobia." I feel like "heterophobia" is the sexual orientation equivalent of "misandry," "anti-white racism," et al. (As in, you can't oppress the oppressor, or discriminate against the dominant group.)

    Also, I admit that I don't know much about the radical lesbian separatist movement, but my understanding of it is that it is not based on the feeling that "straight people are boring." In fact, I understood it to be a part of the feminist movement, which claimed that lesbianism was the logical end of feminism - i.e., males discriminate against and oppress women, so it would be best if women become entirely independent of men (by becoming lesbians, leaving patriarchical societies altogether, etc.).
     
  6. Bocks

    Bocks Senior Member

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    By some weird coincidence (or maybe I'm just a queer magnet), almost every one of my closest friends is gay. I never went looking for them, we just found each other and came out later.

    I also have to admit that I'm guilty of looking for other gay people to immerse myself in (whoa...so to speak!), but I think that should lessen now. I JUST came out to my family a week ago, and I think I felt less vulnerable or insecure when I was surrounded by other gay people.

    It used to annoy me when other people labeled themselves STRICTLY according to their sexuality, but then to a certain extent, at least on a personal level, my sexuality has influenced my choices and interests, and probably personality.

    I used to think that straight people were boring, simply because there was so much, on a broadly general level that they'd never have to go through (try picking a partner from a minute percentage of the population, for a start), but I can't really say that anymore--some of my closest friends are straight.

    It's a really difficult point to argue either way, really. I like straight AND gay people. Honestly, I'm probably biased towards gay people because we have so much in common, but that doesn't stop me from making friends with heterosexuals.
     

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