How do you pick a partner (inspired by WarmHandedCanadian's post)

exactly my thoughts

 

it's totally untrue. logic plays a huge part in understanding how to maintain a loving and lasting relationship. only romantics believe logic plays no part. i can love someone for a time, but i'm never going to choose a life partner besed purely on a chemical reaction, never again. that's just stupid.

 

i was with curtis and my best friend at the bar hanging out, me and curtis were dating, he left to walk over and play pool, and i leaned over to her and told her "this is the man im going to marry" and we did. i knew. what is REALLY fucked up about the whole thing is that when he FIRST met me, 7 years ago, he was at a party at my house and told his friends (he was drunk as fuck) that he was going to go up to me and ask me to marry him. lol

 

I think there's a difference in saying that logics plays a huge part in understanding how to maintain a loving and lasting relationship, than saying that you chose the person you are with using your logic. To me those are two different things, but perhaps Im a romantic

 

i don't know...i'm fucked in the head

and drunk...so i don't know

 

I like small girls with good sized tits and intelligent but passive.

 

mostly chemistry. hell, id dint want to like my bf when we went for our first coffee (internet dating, had just startied talking ot smoeon ewho sounded more interesting). now i realize hes amazing for me
i had some general paramters before hand, like nerdy, intelligent, forgiving, patient, a silly streak, compassionate, honest, etc. this guy happens to exemplify all of them and then some, hes just amazing.

 

I always rely on logic when it comes to long term relationships.
Chemistry goes away very soon....
And I am definately not a romantic person.

 

I rely on instinct. Something tells me whether or not to pursue something/someone.

I'm in a situation now where my gut tells me to pursue someone but my mind tells me to stay single considering the circumstances. It's getting rather difficult.

 

It is so cute that people still believe in the concept of soulmates. In a couple of years when you read this back you can not believe how naive you were. Ofcourse, if you are in love it feels like that. But love does usually not last and when reality kicks in you realise that the golden glow around things have faded and that what is left is either comfort or distance.

 

hopefully you'll have developed a lasting relationship with your best friend with benefits. but i see too many people putting up with stupid bullshit because they get off on the rush. it's tedious. "but i LOVE HIM!" whatever.

 

yeah it is so cute to think like that , it's kinda sad that you do not, but somehow it doesnt surprise me. You definitely dot seem like the person who believes in soulmates or love that lasts forever or any of those "cute" things. I must say that I didnt use to think this way, but there are certains things that you need to feel before you can start believing in them.

 

cute doesn't get you through the tough times. people have such a fucked up romance movie vision of what love is. and everyone thinks "i just don't love him anymore" (read: he doesn't make my heart pound anymore and there's this really hot guy at work) is a valid reason to break up a relationship. that kind of love is a sham, it's just lust and chemicals happily tied up with some shiney valentine's day hallmark packaging. fuck that. i'll take the real thing.

 

but i love shiny valentines day cards

 

yeah, they're pretty, but you can buy those anywhere.

a real loving relationship requires using your head sometimes. because every relationship has it's down times, and if you've made your decisions intelligently, instead of being purely based on brain chemistry, those down times will pass. you know, right there in the center of your intelligence, that the benefits and joys of your relationship far outweigh a temporary loss of physical attraction or some fights over money. if you don't have any sort of foundation based in good sense, you will probably just give up.

 

I was using the word with sarcasm. I also dont think that what you describe is love or anything close to it, that's just I like you and I dont want to be alone, but if something better comes along, I'm running to the door.
Love is something completely selfless, that involves sacrifice and work and no is not always perfect but you care enough to make it through the tough times and yeah it's very intense and happy, but it also sometimes hurt, because if you are in a relationship with someone else, there are always going to be differences, no matter how much you and the other person are alike, but you are both willing to work to put yourself in the middle. Because too much giving only from one side, is just as bad
I think that in love we can possibly find every single human emotion, is a very crazy thing.

 

I'm too logical to fall in love...

My brain cannot fathom or comprehend the idea of love...

Therefore, I stand by my original statement: Logic has no place in love. Or is it the other way around???

*rethinks*

 

just take off the socks and get comfy

 

It is not sad to think like that nor do you know anything about me, so please do not judge.

I think it is good if people believe in soulmates, ofcourse in a way we all are since we are all soulmates. Not just two individuals.

 

So true. However, I am always fine with comfort.
Love goes away, so does chemistry.
Thats why I always rely on logic when it comes to long term relationships.