Bitchy Best Friend Advice.. girls...i need help!!!

Ok. im not the kind of person that has alot of girl friends, so i do cherish the ones i have and i do all that i can for them, as they do the same.

i have a friend that is just pushing the wrong buttons, being rude, all out of jealousy. and the more she does this, the more i am pushing myself away.

even my husband who had said she is a great friend has now considered her a "bitch" and that i should not be friends with her.

we have such a long past. and she was one of my best friends,. but i cant take her behavior anymore! i actually dodged her call today. thats pathetic.

I just dont know what to do. talk to her, right? or is her behavior and her false accusations a reason to just end it.

she actually went to my very best friends house, and tried to start shit, my best friend told her to just stop, she doesnt want any gossiping about me.
its just getting worse and worse. i cant even stand to talk to her on the phone.

 

I was in a similar situation and I just stopped returningher calls. We were best friends since I was 14. I just can't stand her anymore and she is drama.

 

First of all, your husband is awesome but I would not like it if mine EVER for any reason said "DONT be friends with this person" - just had to say that... haha.

why is she jealous? how long have you known her? details.


im not sure what to say... it would depend how much that particular friendship meant to me. there are no rules.

 

we have been friends for 8 years. keep in mind i moved here when i was in jr high, and i dont have childhood friends AT ALL. so older friends mean alot to me,. but her behavior and her attempts to break up my relationships with other friends is really messed up, and when i answered the phone yesterday my son was pitching a fit, and i was holding him, and when she called, she could hear him crying, and she had the nerve to say that she would hate to see that im neglecting my child, and that he is not happy, and i should pay more attention to him, when she doesnt even know anything. she was trying to get to me. everytime i talk to her she is trying to make me feel guilty about anything she can if its the way my life is, or our friendship, or anything she can.

i really dont need her unnecessary drama

 

Does she do it because she's jealous? If so, since I see you are interested in possibly maintaning the relationship- maybe talk to her in some way that subtly lets her know that she is important to you and she doesnt have to be jealous... you know, treat her like a cat. ahahaha....


now that i read further though, about the comment about your son... that's almost unexcusable. it WOULD be but im a forgiving person... has she said stuff that fucked up before? if her friendship means A LOT id tell her, THIS will not fly... if its been a lotta times then honestly, fuck it. I've been mad at my friends I've had for a long time.. you talk to jess on here. ive been best friends with her since we were like 13.... met in jr high ... anyways we've been pissed at each other... almost got into a fist fight a year and a half ago ... even THEN(and btw, ten mins after we got mad, we were hugging in jeremy's car, haha).... when we were ready to kill each other... i would never have talked shit about her parenting skills. friends dont do that.

 

no they dont, especially since she knows thats not true, and she was trying to get to me. and on her sons 5th birthday, her boy friend left her, and i took her and both her kids in to my house, and gave him the most kick ass bday hes ever had, that even when he went to his grandmas to have his real party, all he could talk about was going to darlenes house and how much fun it was and how he wants to come back.

yeah im horrible. grrr.

i dont know why shes doing this, it really shows jealousy, since she actually went over to my friend shellis house and tried to talk shit about me,. then called me and tried to talk shit about her,. and shelli is my soulmate best friend, and she told her that she was sorry, but she doesnt think she could EVER be friends with her.

you dont say things about your friends kids, you just dont. now, if i was a bad parent, and my son was being neglected, that would be different, but im not, she knows im not, she was just trying to get to me.

how do you tell someone that you just cant deal with her bullshit anymore?

after the visiting shelli and trying to stir up some shit incident i told her that i value our friendship, and that i dont want to hear anything about any gossiping or talking any shit, and that if anyone has anything bad to say to me, say it to my face. otherwise i cannot be friends with her.

and then this is going on. *sigh* again.

 

oh, must add this... she LITERALLY was pissed and hurt that shes not number one on my myspace!!!! like i really put it in a certain order of friendship,

1. i wouldnt take the time to do that,
2. its fucking myspace
3. she hasnt even been moved.
4. shes becoming PSYCHO

 

Darlene....

this is coming from ME... im like THE advocate of keeping friends and working things out cause that's what friends do but she seems delusional, lost, psycho, draining, etc.

I'd sooo ditch her right now.

 

Is she quite alright?? She sounds like shes needs alot of support right now... Hmmm shes not going through anything big is she?

But then again maybe shes just a bitch.

 

I would end it. You have to draw a line somewhere.....I think she crossed it with the comment about your son. There is a difference between a fussy kid and a neglected one - and she should know that. I value friendships....but when they are more hassle then what they are worth I let go. I don't mean a person is in trouble and I just don't want to help them.............I mean crazy bitches that think they are in the single white female movie. haha Or those that are just trying to fuck up friendships and your day..............every day.

 

id try and figure out if theres something else big going on in her life thats making her take the stress out on her friends wihtout actually telling them whats going on, but otherwise... yeah, its time to move on. if she is causing you more harm than good, its time to move on

 

Drop her. If someone said that shit about my kid I would destroy them.

She sounds like she is oddly possessive-almost scary.


On a side note, there are a lot of "s" in possessive.

 

you all are very right, very good advice and i thank you. i know that she crossed the line with the fussy child remark. but yes, she just broke up with her bf the father of her two kids just recently. and she is going through problems with one of her childhood friends who is battling cancer (melanoma) and she has been with her bf for 1o years and now shes with one of his friends? it could be a cry for help.

 

maybe acting out in her own stress? im starting to think about it more and more.

 

sit down with her and gently explain that although she is going through a tough time in her life, theres no need to be a bitch to her friends. if she doesn't change then become distant with her and she'll gradually leave you alone!