Very positive stuff. I like this a lot. I like how al most all of the things you do are not so obvious. ie. dance with the wind, walk with the clouds, swim with the rain. I would however look for another verb to go with the eagles and the birds. Flying and singing seem too easy... You say that English is not your first language, BRAVO. You have an amazing way with words in a foreign tongue. I wish I could write poetry in Italian. I can speak it fluently, but it takes a certain talent to write poetry in any language. Well done. Keep posting your positive outlook on life. Peace, A.
Thou the One I Love O Thou, embracing Silence seized by Your Love I expand in the void, while staring in Your eyes. my body lifted in a state of inertion, transported trough Your penetrating rediance, I move freely, without need, wish or force. O Thou, I am here for You, no I am here because of You, yes my life is Yours, to share the treasure wich I am connected to.
Don't rush it, people will post/reply at their own pace. Right now, I don't have enough time but I will get back later tonight.
The second "title unknown" piece was my favorite of the two. I couldn't really connect to the first one. You're using too many generalities, (e.g. "everybody seems to play their role" what roles?? how do they play?? "through the many illusions given by the world" again, be more specific, what illusions?) you need more specifics, something more tangible that would grip the reader by bringing reality and life to your poem. Otherwise your poetry is just a collection of vague trite phrases such as "madness of life". They don't really mean anything unless you give them meaning, illustrate them, make the reader see, feel, taste, hear, instead of just floating in vague abstraction.
I like this one Magixarts, I saw your homepage and I love it, the design of your homepage fits very good with your poetry,
Thank you peanutje. Uhmz, when I read your message it's as if I regonize your energy, I know who you are........
suspicious mind I see you running, going nowhere, but up and down the shores of my Being waiting for beautiful ships to arrive, so you can hurt yourself and stay alive it´s a matter of focus, concentrate this nightmare of mine reflecting out my lucid eyes ain´t nothing more then a cruel game, waiting for hope to die i try to bury myself by killing time - the owner - of this suspicious mind
That for sure is strange I wouldn't know who you are. I am new here and I saw all the poetry and then I visited your homepage and I was impressed by it and wanted to tell you about it. At his forum I got an overkill, so I am not posting at this moment, maybe I will later. I am female, 20 years old from Ireland?
Beautiful 'Like the rose I am laughing with all my body, not only with my mouth, because I am without myself, alone with the king of the world. You who came with torch and at dawn ravished my heart, dispatch my soul after my heart, do not seize my heart alone. Do not in rage and envy make my soul a stranger to my heart; do not leave the former here, and do not summon the latter alone. Send a royal message, issue a general invitation; how long, O sultan, shall the one be with you and the other alone? If you do not come tonight as yesterday and close my lips, I will make a hundered uproars, my soul, I will not lament alone. Do you break our harp, exalted one; thousands of other harps are here. Since we have fallen into the clutches of love, what matters if we lose harp or reed pipe? If the whole world's rebeck and harp should be consumed, many a hidden harp there is, my friend; The twanging and strumming mounts to the skies, even if it does not enter the ears of the deaf. If the whole world's lamp and candle should flicker out, what cause for sorrow is that, since flint and steel still remain? Songs are spindrift on the face of the sea; no pearl come on the surface of the sea; Yet know that the grace of the spindrift derives from the pearl, the reflection of the reflection of whose gleam is upon us. Songs are all but a branch of the yearning for union; branch and root are never comparable. Close your lips, and open the window of the heart; by that way be conversant with the spirits. He comes, a moon whose like the sky ne'er saw, awake or dreaming, Crowned with eternal flame no flood can lay. Lo, from the flagon of thy love, O Lord, my soul is swimming, And ruined all my body's house of clay! When first the Giver of the grape my lonely heart befriended, Wine fired my bosom and my veins filled up, But when his image all mine eye possessed, a voice descended: "Well done, O sovereign Wine and peerless Cup!' ~~* Rumi http://www.orderofthegrail.org/islamic_origin_rose+.htm
I like "suspicious mind"...i really like how you isolated "its a matter of focus, concentrate"...definitely drives the point home...
wow, i really love your work. my favourite i think is illusion it's nice and short but it's really powerful. reminds me a bit of syd barretts vegetable man, and i love that so it's gotta be great! keep posting your stuff.
