random

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Beckner420, Oct 24, 2007.

  1. Beckner420

    Beckner420 troll

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    A tad bit past the wooden sign
    just a couple miles down highway six
    there'll be path beneath the leaves and sticks,
    where all good dogs go to die

    you'll never hear a childs cry
    none exept his own,
    just man and friend alone
    where all dogs go to die

    The forest sad, it tries to hide
    one last walk, one last talk
    where all dogs go to die

    A deviant move, crouched beside
    No words, just tears
    For all the years
    For the good dog that died


    (Drove passed a place that looked like a place where people would take their dogs to...)
     
  2. teh-horace

    teh-horace for your pleasure

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    *snaps*




    fuck yes.
     
  3. blackheartbitch

    blackheartbitch Member

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    pretty good. :)
     
  4. Witkacy

    Witkacy Member

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    Good start, man. I would say that the last two stanzas get more abstract than the first two, and as a result they aren't as strong. This has potential, keep working it!
     
  5. Beckner420

    Beckner420 troll

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    thanks for all the words. Yea i wrote that randomly, having only the main line in my head. Got like 50 tucked away from the last year but most of them arent very good.
     
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