Please ... I've never asked for an opinion on this, but now that I am endeavouring to truly know that which I am, and having read a number of posts, I would like to share this ... not even sure why. I would say I am wondering if the following, in part at least, is what many people are hoping to experience? This happened 25 years ago. I wasn't meditating, didn't meditate at the time, but used to pray. During that time, I was praying to die, or to be taken.... I wasn't praying at the specific moment that this happened to me, but prayer was part of my life then. Before getting into it, I have to say, words cannot really express this experience, it was beyond anywords or description. Anyway, I was lying on the floor listening to some gregorian chant. My friend was lying next to me and remained oblivious to what happened next. All of a sudden it was like a part of me started to float up, way up into space or somewhere, it wasn't even up, but that is the only way I can describe it. And then all of a sudden, the elevated part of me experienced myself being naked. It was a nakedness without shame even though I didn't have a body. Then I realised I was among all these 'others' but they belonged there, and it was like they were welcoming me or something, it was like they were kissing me all over or caressing my none body, but it wasn't sensual, it was like I was being rejoiced in welcomed. Then all of a sudden (again) my 'nakedness' was dressed in light. It was like as I was 'rising' up ( was always rising during this stage) I rose into light, I became the light, was dressed in the light. At the same time, all the others who were this light too, were now me, and I was them. And there was a music that was beyond music, the most beautiful sounds, and the light was beyond light, and beyond any colours we could imagine, and this light and sound was like a wave. We were all one, but also individual. It was a love and a peace that defies explanation. Words seems so crude in trying to express this. And then I realised I was being taken higher which really took me by surprise, because I couldn't imagine (up until that moment) that I could go any 'higer'. Of course it wasn't higher, but words are failing me. Anyway I was going 'higher' and I realised I was going to be 'shown', or experience (I feel self conscious even saying this, but I had this sense that I was being taken to) the Godhead -- for lack of a better description. And in this blissfull state I felt so undeserving and even though I didn't have a physical body but an oceanic body of light, sound, love, pure joy .... it was as if I was postulating myself. And I remember 'saying' or communicating "I know I am not deserving yet, but please, please, please let me stay". I couldn't not look 'up' at the Godhead. I wasn't afraid, I just felt unworthy. And it was at that instant, all of a sudden (again) that my physical body felt afraid, and then it was like this thing that was connecting my physical body and my light body, started to bring my light body back. I was instantly my usual self lying on the floor, but with me I had the answer to my request to stay. Which was, 'you are not ready yet, but now you know'. Now for quite a while after this experience people were telling me I was glowing, looked different, and I was so high. The thing is, even though I had that experience, and I cannot deny it was not my imagine, I feel that somehow I turned my back on what felt like a tremendous blessing, almost rebutting it and I don't really know why. I actually went through some years of rejecting the existence of the omnipotent divine love. Again, crude words. I am not, for some reason, comfortable using divinity names. Though I do contemplate sanskrit mantras such as: moshka, sat chit ananda.... I am not very learned in all of this. Anyway I thought I 'd share this.... I guess I feel like having had this experience, I should be more changed or something? Maybe that is what makes me question, what it really was.
I think somehow, that by having that experience I might have thought, that life would be different. And of course it was, but in a subtle way. Not in some dramatic way like I perhaps expected. When I read things like Yogananda, or The Baghavagita, there's some really heady stuff in the descriptions, and they make sense to me. Like I've had some kind of glimpse. I think. I do feel I've had many spiritual blessings, insights, experiences.... Perhaps we all do, but not all of us really 'get it'. I don't know. I don't want to sound righteous or anything. That is the last thing I want to sound like. I feel somehow, I have not honoured all that I've been shown, all that I am. I mean I've tried to live with dignity and respect, compassion .... But somehow I feel I've fallen down in my spiritual calling. I hope, believe, I am returning. But have no idea how it will manifest. I just keep saying, when my mind wanders in meditation, 'align me to your will' or I give thanks. Does that answer your question.
I just recently had an experience of being enlightened. I now know exactly what the Gita and the Upanishads mean when they say "getting in touch with your Self". It wasn't nearly as dramatic as yours, but surely it was life changing. Instead of running from the experience I explored it more deeply. It showed me what I could be, what everyone could be and what I will become. I've often thought about leaving this "quest" I'm on, going back to the way things used to be, but it's too late. I've glimpsed enlightenment and there's no turning back. Once you see something so beautiful, it's hard to ignore it. Interestingly enough, I'm 20 so this is about the time you had your experience. Oh, and don't worry about not getting "it" back. You will.
Yes I agree, once you've had a glimpse it changes you. And I've found it difficuilt to 'fit' in any kind of conventional way. Its very easy to see how much illusion we live in, and I think living 'conventionally' is very much founded on the illusions. I don't mean that to sound judgemental, or as if I am above anything. Not in the least.
I find it easy to live conventionally. I am aware of the illusions that pervade us, but you gotta live here, you know?
I guess my use of conventionally is broad stroking. Some people are much more suited to living in the margins of society. I appreciate for some it can be a diminishing place, but for others it is the preferred, and personally better option. It doesn't necessarily make it easier. It makes me think of the book title ' The Road Less Travelled', but this conventional subject is a whole other discussion. I do respect we have to live here. We are here to learn - it seems.
Actually the title atleast, "The Road Less Travelled", is a perfect way to look at this subject right here. In the Yoga Tantra tradition there is actually only two distinct paths or directions an individual is on, or rather the direction in which consciousness is flowing. The first is the outward path, termed pravritti. This 'road' is leading away from the oneness of Divine Consciousness. It is the road of evolution, which produces this illusionary world of individualization. The other, 'the road less traveled' is the inward path, termed nivritti. This is the path whereby you unite or return to the Source of your individual consciousness. This is the Yogic path, leading to Samadhi. What you experienced cgraycelt must have been some glimpse of this, Samadhi, Enlightenment like you have stated above. In the tradition of Yoga Tantra, this Samadhi is the ultimate goal so to speak achieved via the Kundalini Devi. Not as a glimpse, but as an eternal state of consciousness that does not diminish when the body dies. Peace, Love, Om. Yogin Jnana Dvaita
Thank you Ditmog. So this glimpse that I had, as a carnate being, can you only have moments of it as a carnate being. From my experience, I don't know how I could operate in the world of Maya if I was constantly in Samadhi. Though I must say, I would happily give up Maya to be in Samadhi continuously. I feel somehow I should be further along the path, having had this glimpse. I've had discussions with people, and also had a sense, that if one does not bring another carnate being into the world, then that person will have a better chance of not having to return as a carnate being. What are your thoughts on this?
Namaste Cgraycelt, One is ultimately supposed to be in permanent Samadhi after the Kundalini gets to a certain stage. But as far as your question about reincarnation, as long as your cakras contain karma to be lived then they require a body. This is one of the reasons why the spiritual practice, Sadhana, is so important. A complete Yoga Sadhana purifies the cakras, ultimately leading to the Kundalini awakening and Samadhi consciousness. If you are interested and are looking for practices to begin, I suggest that you check out the "Cakra Meditation" thread posted by my teacher Yogin Bhairava, and check out the website: www.kundalinidream.org. You were blessed with a beautiful experience. But don't worry yourself so much about where you think should be on the path because of it, we are where we are. You just got to keep walking, everything will unfold the way it must unfold. I hope this was of some help. namaste brother. Yogin Jnana Dvaita
Namaste Ditmog. I also feel blessed that I have returned to the inner path - even though I am still attached to some kind of suffering because of it, i.e. taking "The Road Less Travelled" can be quite isolating and not having the desire to sacrifice for the Mammon monster causes material challenges.
