So! There is this guy at my class he is a geek, but he is soooo damn smart! He asked me out, and I said no,(I thought he was stupid, but I was wrong) Now, after talking to him I realize how wonderful he is! Only he doesn’t, I can see by the way he talk to me and look at me that he still likes me (and I like him myself) but I’m afraid if I go out with him he will depend on me to feel secure and have a little self-esteem, be cause he has no self-esteem and he lets everyone beat him up and call him names without defending himself! Everyone is taking advantages of him (since he is extremely smart) and he is not responding! I want to help him see his talents (he writes great poetry and he is a marvelous actor) and have a strong personality and be able to stand up and say no to thoese who make fun of him but always suck up to him when they need something with school work! Should I go out with him and help him out or help him out and then go out with him! Any tips???? Anything to help??? Thanks a lot. peace:
You should go out with him! My boyfriend is kinda geek (computers, playing D'n"D, very smart, good student) and he is also as you have said bout this guy - with not really big self confidence. I used to think that we will never work out because we are so different but now I can see how inteligent, interesting and lovely he is. Good luck
Much in agreement. I like geeks, too. Smart and talented guys are sexy, especially if they are funny, too. Trust me, when you two get a little older, this stuff is not going to matter at all.
im a huge nerd and i love nerds. my bf is a huge nerd too, its awesome as for worrying about his self confidence, well, helping your partner love themselves and work through life is just something you do when youre in a relationship - youll have to do it with anyone youre with, its not much of an excuse (save perhaps a cowardly one) to not date someone who you genuinely like
You'd be surprised at how much self-esteem some nerdy guys do actually have. A lot of them are aware of how sexy some of us think they truly are (oh my god, give me a guy with acne and glasses and an amazing IQ any day over an underwear model *drool*). Go for it, I'm sure you won't regret it.
nothing raises someones self esteem more then the person they like asking them out. i think if u went out with him, it would raise his self esteem and might not let people pick on him anymore
Go for it, but know that this is not a project. You are not supposed to attempt to change your partner. Help him out sure...but don't let him become dependent on you. Geeks make more money btw. And if you don't think that money matters...you'll work till the day you die. Oops off subject!
It's getting so complicated! I have feelings for him that's true but I think I like the person I think he could become with a little self-esteem not the person he is! I guess my feelings for him were just freindship! I'm confuses, I don't know! I mean, he is the nerdy guy who gets the best grades who always follows the rules , who doesn't like metal, and I'm a singer in a metal band a total non-comformist (while he is 100% comformist) we have lots of differences!!! May be It was just an illusion! although he had lots of talent (he is a great actor oh my god) I mean it's like I like parts of him, but I hate the fact of how geek he is!(because I beleive he can be better) I don't know is it my imagination??? do I imagine that he can be better while he can't! or can he (plus there is another guy I like with whom I have lots of things in commun) I don't know!!!
you dont like how geeky he is now? its part of who he is - you cannot enter a relationship plannign to change him, only planning to support your partner
I mean it's not the fact of being geek but of being a total geek like controled by this! he cannot even make anything! like I can't see him kissing me he would be sooooo Uncomfortable!
then dont go after him if youre gonna be shallow or plan on changing him. thats just mean, yknow, to start dating someone with the intent of making them into someone other than who they are. it says that they arent good enough for you
I didnt mean this! I meant that he can be better! that's all! or I though he could anyway! I just was confused and it has nothing to do with the fact of him being a geek (I consider myself a geek by the way) it's just that we don't have the same way of seeing life!!!
haha WOW im a guy and this post totally put how important confidence is to females into perspective for me. i mean i knew it was important but damn i dident think it was a diciding factor. i mean honestly i though it would be common sense that once a person starts to open up to you and get comfortable with you they because the true person they really are and the shyness goes away. seriously, so you have to initiate the first kiss, so fucking what! i have been freinds with these so called "geeks" my whole life, and im also freinds with non geeks, but you know what, my best freinds are "geeks" because they truely are better people most of the time. dont denie youself a great opportunity because your afraid of something that is NOT even a problem!
