The Drunkest You've Ever Been

My boyfriend slept over and it was just me, him and my older brother. I got real drunk, and got pissed at myself for some reason and started punching myself in the face like bad. I gave myself a black eye and a bloody nose. They had to sit on my hands to get me to stop, and tried to feed me but everytime they tried id throw the food so my dog would it eat. lol, i went in the kitchen and got all the food i saw and started giving it to my dog so theyd quit trying to make me eat it lol.

 

The drunkest I'd ever been was probably two months ago when I went to the bar in my hometown...I hadn't seen a lot of the people I saw there in a long ass time and everyone was buying me drinks...that's pretty much all I remember, but I woke up passed out in the bar parking lot...and I had puked all over myself and the the pavement next to me...

I started the night out drinking about four Killian Red's...after that...I don't know what I drank LOL...probably liquor...because I never puke when I drink just beer. Only have puked when I drank too much liquor.

 

I have too many stories.. I will come back to this soononce I sober up

 

I once was so drunk that I was on some random guys porch vomiting and he walked me back to my dorm...because I guess he knew who I was and was a fellow student...I then proceded to get into my appartment and go into the bathroom and completely black out...however many hours later I wake up to my roommate taking the door off the hinnges and I'm completely covered in vomit and my pants are off...so I wake up the next morning to realize that my shirt is completely covered in puke and my ankle is sprained, I went to the emergency room and got some percacets and everything worked out.

 

youre a fucking liar.

if youre gonna lie at least be good at it
gosh

 

sometimes when i black out really bad i piss myself.

 

The only time I've seen a grown man piss himself is when he's drinking Firewater. That shit made a middle aged man dance on the counter top. LMAO I only drink Firewater maybe three times a year.....it's just that good....

 

Let's see... The drunkest I've ever been was my 21st birthday. My friends took me out to a bar here in town. I started off with a yard of beer and a shot of jack, which is the free drinks they give for birthdays. Followed that up with a sweet jesus x2... a 3 wise men, a squished smurf, 2 shots of patron, a long island, and a makers and coke. So I had 12 drinks in about 20 minutes of being at the bar. My friends were relentless. Needless to say, they had to carry me out! I don't remember anything after exiting the bar. I woke up on my couch the next afternoon! They took a few pictures of the aftermath... so I have a picture of myself black-out drunk on the ground with my pants around my ankles...and a crapload of writing on my back and legs. haha. good times, i think...

 

hmmm, I've been pretty done in if you know what i mean 8), but that i can thnk of right now probably my boyfriend, Brads 17th birthday, we weren't going out then but we were good friends and by the end of the night he was pretty much passed out on the couch and while everyone else was swimming or doing other fucked up things I decided I should go inside before I kill myself and sat right down on him didn't realize he was there (even though he was moving a bit) and when i did i just laid beside him and we pretty much talked about how weird the ceiling was until we passed out... the next day was a barfy love fest haha... the bathroom was totally ruined

this was not actually the drunkest i've ever been but i can't think of full stories right now haha, but i remember one time we got a cab and i pulled this girl out of the cab and pushed her down, not nice but there was a reason i now don't recall... i also lost 3 awesome T-shirts and a cool hat 8(

Cheers

 

Worst I have ever been. Jeez, that would be the times I can't remember.
But let me tell one of the stories, which I can remember.
A few months back, home alone just me and a litre bottle of Southern Comfort. Drank that and went into town. Start drinking in my favorite bar with some friends. probably was about one when I came in. At three o'clock I go outside to get my bike and go home. The sky was golden, truly, everything had a golden color over it. It was absurd.

 

whats firewater? sounds good...

 

Not sure...can't rember

 

It's a type of Cinnamon Schnapps. They don't sell it at very many places. I have to go to the Liquor "Warehouse" type places to find it. It's killer bro....drink at your own risk. We usually take shots but you can find a lot of recipies on the internet to mix it with.

 

Well there are 2 i can remember one was at a friends party and there was just this bottomless bag of drink and i ended up throwing up and crying over god only knows what and the other was after a concert we were bumming around and then a friend whipped out a bottle of vodka and I think someone else bought us something and then spent the rest of the night running around talking to randoms last I remember was when my friends sister came to pick us up and my friend was looking for me and found me making out with some guy we had just met.

 

the drunkest i have ever been was that time that i dont remember anything.

 

i was so shitty once, i drank piss

 

i was 9 years old, some cute chick fed me 1/2 a 26 ounce bottle of vodka and bye the end of the night i was barking and clapping on the floor like a seal for more shots......worst time ever....i ended up stagering home thru the woods and puked out my kraft dinner when i finnaly got there....

 

The drunkest time I can remember: It was homecoming night, but my friends and I are far too cool to go to school dances, so we all dressed up in fancy clothes and went out on the town.

We jumped from party to party stealing beers and just being retarded. Around 2:00am my group had dwindled to just 3. The other two were trying to be alone so I decided to go home, quite tipsy but not smashed if you know what I mean.

When I got home I decided to have a real fancy dinner seeing as I was looking so sharp. I reheated some steak and poured myself a glass of whiskey(I also gave my dog a plate of steak and mashed potatoes ). I had a good 5 or 6 more stiff drinks. Then I decided it was time to go have a smoke.

Of course I smoked with an old tobacco pipe(All this time I was dressed for success: nice dress pants, dress shirt and vest, and an old knee length coat with fur inlay I got for four bucks at a thrift shop). By now I was trashed and I ended up sitting on an electrical box next to the main road by my house smoking my pipe.

As I smoke a couple of cars drive by. I make no effort to hide and am in plain view from the road. A car approaches, I can't see very well because of the headlights, but I take a draw and let out a massive cloud of smoke as it passes. Of course it's a cop cruiser.

I watch it praying he didn't see me as the car continues up the road. But then it pulls into a parking lot to turn around and I know I've been made. I freak, and very drunkenly decide to run for it. I confidently attempt to hop the 6-foot fence back into my neighborhood. BAM. I misjudge my capacity for athletics and face plant into the wood. Now I'm lieing on the ground, bloodied and in pain unable to do much of anything. Plus piggy's coming back, with his search light on. He's almost on top of me. I give up and hug the ground, expecting to be arrested imminently.

But the cop thinks I've just ran along the road so he burns rubber, passing right by me. I honestly can't believe my good fortune as I watch the cop speed away. But he soon realizes his mistake and turns around. Too late, because I've managed to slowly lift myself over the fence. Straddling the top I lose my balance and topple over the side landing with another resounding thud. But I am safe and I stumble home: bleeding from multiple points on my body, my clothing is tattered and smeared with mud, I am badly bruised and very sore, but I make it back to my house. Then I pass out.

Sorry for the read, but that is my most interesting night of drunken escapades to date.

 

A friend and i bought a fifth of jose tradicional b/c it's about the cheapest 100% agave tequila to be found in my neck of the woods. i took an adderall when we got back to my buddy's place and proceeded to begin the adventure. While he went to take a shower i downed half the bottle. After he got dressed he saw how fast it was going so he went solo to get another bottle, leaving me face to face with old jose. well i took jose's challenge and downed every bit shot by shot before my friend could even get back with the second bottle. We then proceeded to split that one about 75-25 in my favor (so I'm told). yadayadayada I came to in the ICU and was told that i had a BAC of .34 when I was admitted. The doc told me that it would have killed a lesser man. Evidently I was found face down in the pouring rain on the side of a busy street. I was poked with sticks until it was determined i was alive, but really drunk. Then a fire truck was called to pick me up (i guess i was flammable at that point) and carry me to the ER. The doctor signed an order to send me to a mental hospital against my will for 2 days after i was released the next day. That might've been the drunkest i've been. It's hard to be sure about these things. there was also the time i passed out in the middle of a semibusy road for an amount of time somewhere between 1-2 hours after almost drowning in a friend's neighbor's pool that i broke into.

 

Oh man last march i was hanging out with my friend grayson and we decided to go to his friend leonards house. Leonard invited this guy jimmy, who is like 18 over and he brought some whiskey and starbucks liquor.

I chugged a normal sized water bottle of whiskey and holy shit. I have no idea what the fuck happened that night, i literally have no recolection.
From what i was told however, i was drunk as fuck and falling and just plain almost killed myself. My dad picked my up and i was throwing up the whole night. Got grounded for like a month.

For like 5 months after that whenever i would drink any amount of hard liqour i would just puke.

Now i can drink without puking, but i dont drink anymore im sticking with ganja man.