My parents got a really weird letter from my cousins. The oldest is 13 and the youngest is 7. They got a typed letter stating that the kids didn't want presents any more. I said that they had too much stuff already and didn't want any more.... I don't know is it just me or is this really weird? I have never heard a kid say they didn't want a gift.
sometimes holiday and birthday gift giving can be really crazy. If you have a large family and everyone is married and has kids, it can amount to easily 40 or 50 gifts for people you rarely see. I think it's much more important to give gifts to people you truely love than to be obligated to give gifts to people just because you are related to them. Perhaps this family is just trying to cut down on the whole gift giving thing. Another thing to think about is how some families have strick requirements for what they allow their children to play with. No matter how many times we have requested that people not give our son noisy electronic toys or cheap plastic junk, he still has a room full of sheap plastic electronic junk. My in-laws buy each child the same amount of gifts. But they put little thought in to what would be good for the child. They just look to make sure they have the right number. We would much perfer that they give one nice gift than 7 pieces of plastic. But they don't listen. Some families are trying to instill in their children that holidays are about being with family and celebrating the love that they have for each other, not about what you can get. These families don't exchange gifts at all or they exchange very minimally with immediate family only. Perhaps a handmade gift or a food gift. There are so many reasons why your parents received that letter. Coming at this time of year, they are saying, "We won't be bringing gifts for everyone at the holidays. Please don't buy gifts for us." Respect their wishes. Write a beautiful card or even just a note to express how much you love and appreciate these kids and give them that instead of the gift you would have bought. Kathi
The kids a really allowed to play with almost anything they want to. My family is thinking that it is their father. He is very controlling. In their house kids are seen and not heard when he is around. We don't spend holidays with then and my mom don't usually send them gifts for Christmas just something small for birthday like books or money. The thing it I don't even think it is the wishes of the kids but their dad. I think part of me being bothered by the letter I know what their family life is like.
i just want to state something.. My ex-bro in law was a very controlling to my sister me and my nephews. Well not to the children as much. BUT i know that theres so many stages of controlling deprending on substance abuse and such. During the holidays the children were spoiled rotten. You know , sometimes thats a good thing and sometimes not so much. I come from such a HUGE family that if my nephews had gotten christmas presents birthday presents and occassional here and there presents from everyone especially when it came down to family gatherings, it would add up to thousands of ppl. What my sister does now is packs up the toys they don't play with at the end of the yr and the children donate the toys to the homeless as a christmas.. They wish them a merry christmas which is very sweet!! just my thought anyways
Maybe they have been talking about recycling at school and decided to tone down their own consumption?
I wouldn't mind if my child decided he didn't want gifts at christmas anymore. I hope that I am able to express to him how truely gifted he was being born in Canada (not saying Canada is the prime country to be born in, just saying he could have been born into the 3rd world). I hope he has a level of realization just how lucky he is to have food and shelter and clothing, let alone a room full of toys. I didn't really grasp what the rest of the world was like when I was younger. I will really try to not raise a me-me-me child, a child who needs a toy everytime he goes to the shopping centre... a child that thinks of others. Not saying that this is the reason behind your nephews' letter, but wouldn't it be nice if it was? There does come a point when enough is enough! I remember years where we got so many things that half of them weren't even really seen... it was rip the present open, and then toss it aside to reach for the next present. I think that what Frickinfrack's family does with taking their unused toys to the homeless shelter is really wonderful.
When we were little, my sister and I told my dad he didn't have to get us anything for Christmas. We did it because we knew that he was struggling. He was newly divorced from my mom who had already re-married and he was single working a low paying job trying to keep his apartment so he didn't lose the joint custody of us. Kids aren't stupid. Maybe that's the same kinda thing going on there?
