Funny or embarrassing sex stories.

I was drunk and I went in to the room where my GF at the time was, trying to be quiet cause her grandma was in the other room and I was supposed to stay in on couch. Now she's a fucking idiot so she didn't tell me but her friend was in the bed too but i didn't know and we didn't have a condom, so when i was almost done I pulled out and turned over and i was gonna cum on the bed cause it wasn't my bed and i thought it would be funny if she had to explain the stain to her, extremly christian, grandma and i came all over her friend

 

I once masterbated in a lbrary.

 

me too, except on an airplane

 

That reminds me of one, me and my girl were getting naked in my moms van one night in a school parking lot when a spotlight shone through the window. he told us to get out with our hands visible, and then another cop suv pulled up. the first one threw me up against his car hood with only my boxers on. apparently school parking lots are off limits during non-school hours.

I got my car now, got 5% limo tint. we could be in a full parking lot and no one would know.

 

Umm, just because they can't see your bare ass doesn't mean they won't notice a vehicle shaking and rocking.....

 

That's just the phat sub-woofer he installed last week.

 

That's still not much movement....

Must be boring

 

Want to see if we can rock a car better than they can?

 

I don't think you realize what you'd be getting yourself into.

 

Your vagina. Duh.

 

Right after my ex had moved in w/ me I threw her a candle lit, indoor 'picnic'. We had wine and dinner and danced, and eventually headed into the bed. After a while I got to finishing taking off her clothes and in my heavy buzz I fall off the back of the bed, waking her 3 yrd old son.......

 

I was having sex with a guy once and he hit his head on the wall so hard that he gave himself a bloody nose...I bet he was embarrassed...

I don't know if this is true or not but one of my friends once told me that she was giving a guy head and just as she was about to swallow she saw someone walk past the car and it scared her so badly that she choked and gagged on his cum and she almost ended up with it coming out her nose...I bet she was embarrassed....

I once hit my boy friends (ex now) mom in the head with a shoe while she was getting it on with his dad....we thought it was his brother.

 

you thought his mom was gettting it on with his brother???

 

Wait, cherryiceangel knows SlenderBlondeGirl? What?

 

what? .......

 

ahahahahahaha.
akward times ensured after that, no doubt...

10cent, stiff springs and shocks do wonders!

 

No it was his mom and dad...but we thought it was his brother and his brothers girlfriend....

A mom and a son...thats just nasty.

 

Definately...I was spending the weekend...2 hours after I did it I had to sit down and have dinner with them....:&

I don't know why she never liked me....

 

i think someone should post nude pics of WOMEN not dudes. WOMEN and NOT LITTLE GIRLS!