- Ego Conciousness & the Seperating of the Sands -

So in general, and of course in large enough dose to actually
finalize the splitting of the conscouisness from the entity, but
not a large enough dose that it happens swiftly and without
immediate notice (as well as alotted time for speculation on
the phenomena), how do you feel about the situation and the
emotions, revelations, etc. that come with?
When you start to go under, do you notice that you are not
'you' anymore? For me, typically (buzzing on around an 8th)
I tend to feel that I am watching myself from about 6 feet
and at a slight angle from above and behind my head, and
I see my body and my thoughts contained within going by
as the seeping in takes place. I watch myself and of course,
every time, go through the same reflection of the self and
memories, experiences, emotions past and present (and
sometimes future) and get the usual mirror-of-life effect.
But the last few times I ate up, this happened within the
first 10 minutes following ingestion, and the feeling of being
seperated that quickly tends to drop and impression of
anxiety that isnt tranfigurated until at least an hour or so
passes by. Not fear, exactly, as I have only gone so far out
of my mind as to put myself in a situation where I think that
my current life moments are bubbles of dreams and that what
I do is not real, and therefor will wake up momentarily on
the floor realizing that I was dreaming, 3 times in my life.
But a definite anxiety is felt, in a way that can perhaps be
alikened to God revealing all the secrets of existance that you
ever wondered at, but were most definitley not ready to recieve
this kind of advanced conciousness evolution so soon and
yet still so unprepared to let go. Too much information, too
much astral travel, too much seperation from mind, body, soul,
and the direct flow of causal/mental energy.
I can go much further into detail later on, but I just wanted
to get others opinions of the ego-'death' happenings to compare
and contrast experiences and perspectives.
It is most bizzare to have it happen all at once, if you really
can learn to let go, but at the same time, if you've ever gone
that far into unexplainable realms you would know the apprehension
and occaisonal regret for allowing reality to split in half before
your own eyes. The tongue and intellect tend to scrape at
and cut itselves on the pivots and indents of the topic at hand,
the unameable, unspeakable, and all to often seen as non-sense
or insane ramblings of the man/woman who has seen the Light,
as well as the End.

 

Have your mind trained in the gym? Whew. Good thing nonetheless if you can even say that. Anyways.

Well ego death seen by me as in leaving the body, emerging into light only to find a fractal echoing of peace and lightness, had that once on lsd. Something ripped through reality , it was like a wave of organic spinning jungle machinery with a swooshing gameboy sound, turning self to dust. Nothing much resulted from this while back to myself though , insights or understandings. Its not something I would like to experience again as my brain is fragile to this kind of dose and foreseeing the "death" scares the crap out of me.

I had far more interesting trips with mushrooms lately. Not strong enough for a forced ego loss... A sort secret pathway opening , a button is pushed and the whole trips turns around, consciously, visually , after trying harder and harder to break through a veil. In this state physically comes a descending force that when allowed straightens my body, makes it rock around when standing up, as if trying to find the best position of antenna for the TV, and comes to compact itself in the ankles, feeling like I am rooted with everything around. Then there is another one going up at the same time and sending me into a controllable all inclusive cellular orgasm, its like a very alien thing lol, an astral spaceship. It ends up dissolving me into what Im trying to find out, going up , but midway there are "friends' and undoubtly they have a lot of fun. They want to work with us , they want us to remember, they say they know alot about technology. It seems to be us working from above. I asked them things like comon gimme a sign , let the aliens land tommorow but its too much , instead I woke the next morning with a bird inside my house I was like wtf. Coincidence? Hana enough rambling.

Im pretty crazy but having a trip tonight ill see if i can rationalize this a little, make it more objective.

Theres something funny going on in.....Not tokyo no, not juno no.

Am

 

When I was younger I would think I could take more than I could and would get stuck in a constant state of Tension and be very very anxious during the trip. I think what you said describes why that happened quite well

 

To be honest, I tend to get lost on as little as an
eigth now. I dont know why, I was never like that
before! Maybe its become to natural to me, I
should take a break :tongue:

 

That happens to me to!!

Over the summer I smoked every day and tripped pretty often and I would get higher and higher each time