Sex without physical attraction...healthy?

I sometimes have sex with friends that I'm not really that physically attracted to because I love them and it gives them pleasure..it isn't that great for me, but I don't see the harm in it. Of course if it was a really an unpleasant experience I wouldn't do it. Sometimes I wonder though if it's really such a good idea. What do you think?
P.S. please don't respond with "Ick! or Eew!"

 

No I'm not gonna say "Ick"or "Ew"lol ,i do the same thing,It's really not about physical attraction for me although I always notice who I'm physically attracted to.Usually it's more or sometimes all about connecting emotionally,As it turns out who I'm emotionally attracted to is not always (most of the time)who I'm physically attracted to.Since it's really all about emotions for me of course including love and everything else it does'nt matter so much to me as long as I'm feeling the love and the good vibes and they're feeling it back.That's all I really need.I'm not going have sex with anyone I find utterly disguisting of course lol.It's nice when the two match up and I have both the physical attraction and the emotional attraction.And lust is more of a fantasy than my real life so there always has to be some connection other than physical..I don't think there's anything wrong with it really.If you love these friends I feel it's all about sharing the love with each other and I can't see that being bad But if it makes you feel gross and disguisting then it's not a good thing!What do you get out of it.How good does it make you feel to have sex with them is it more than the freakiness of not being physically attracted to them?I'd say simply if it makes you feel bad it's not a good thing.Hope that helps.
Joey

 

Sounds like you understand. Yeah, I'm not going to have sex with someone that I'm really repulsed by, no matter how I feel about them otherwise, 'cause not only would it be an icky experience, but it might even give me hangups when I'm trying to have sex with someone I AM attracted to. But if a person is sweet and pure hearted it can really make up for a lot in terms of lack in the physical attraction dept.
I guess what I worry about is that when the other person is too much more attracted to me than I am to them, they will end up getting hurt somehow. I mean, I want it to be just a good experience for them, but if they get to thinking that I am more attracted to them than I am, I could end up giving them more pain than pleasure. I donno. There's nothing simple about human relationships. Seems like no matter who your with or what you do there's going to be pain involved somewhere sooner or later.

 

Yea diffenetely stay away from the "ickies",Then it does'nt matter how I feel about them and I'll probably feel gross and it will affect my seeing people I really want to in the future.Good piont.I did have that situation with a friend and I decided not to go for it just cause I basically felt repulsed by him in a physical sense and I could'nt get past that and I'm glad I did'nt,I would've felt horrible eventhough he was a great friend for many years.What really gets my attention more than anything is kindness.Lots of kindness can balance out a not so physically attractive person to someone I naturally like being around and that's very attractive!!I worry bout' people getting hurt,me included.There's no way around that risk.People sometimes are more serious about me than I am them.Even sometimes when I'm disguisted and don't want them around at all,their thinking about skipping through the tulips or something,whatever lol.I don't know why there would be such a huge difference about how I feel for them and they feel for me.They end up hurt and I feel angry and misunderstood.I try to be up front and honest now but that does'nt always work so great (I keep trying though).I guess I'm only responsible to tell them where I'm at and how I feel,what they do with that is up to them.If I don't lie or lead them on about "us" and try to be honest(not so much I hurt them though)I think I'm doing ok.The hard thing for me is being honest even if someone else does'nt like it.Can't please everyone though,Right?If someones involved with me they need to take their own responsibility for themselves and the decisions they make.The decision to be involved also includeds the possibility of being hurt(I did'nt make it this way lol)So I won't take full responsibilty for them being hurt since it takes two to have a relationship and things are not usually one sided.I may get hurt too,Knowing that i say Is this person worth the risk?Do I really want this?and so on,they should be asking themselves similiar questions so I would'nt feel horrible if someone gets hurt along the way as long as you know your motives and intentions are good.Jeeez I sound so damn serious,like a court case or something LOL.Sorry did'nt mean to get crazy serious all of a sudden lol. Know what I mean though?Can't aviod the pain altogether but maybe can reduce the amount of it.Relationships are a bitch!!,but can be wonderful too sometimes. J***

 

Yeah, like you say, it's a two way street. If I'm not being dishonest about how I feel, I can''t be blamed for the other person getting false expectations. So far nothing bad has come of it. I don't have much to share with other people, but what I do have I see no reason to keep from someone I care about if it doesn't hurt me.

 

Why not ?

 

i totaly do the same thing and it makes me feel weird like gross but idk cuz like everytime i c them its always wat they want but they never want to date thenm most the time after a while we arent friends anmore:**[

 

I guess that it totally depends on your personality. Personally, I'd rather not shag my friends just for fun, but maybe you're different and don't mind doing it? If you're okay with it, then why does it matter what we think? It's not harming anyone either so it should be okay

 

I think everyone has to try different things and find what works best for them.

 

I don't think it's a good idea but I do it anyway, because it's hard to find people I really like. But yeah, you should probably avoid creepy old men, something tells me it just wouldn't be worth it.