Has anyone ever experienced living in a shelter for domestic violence? If so, any information you could give me would be greatly appreciated.
bring nothing valuable, there's some really hard up and messed up souls there, there's some decent women too. Store your most valuables with ppl u trust. Are kids in the picture? Anybody outside of the shelter who inquires about the shelter residents do not talk to and report it immediately to shelter admin as this is a serious threat to the residents.
if they are helping you to file paperwork etc , allow them to do so,,, it will help you further on down the road. Do not allow anyone to know where you are and as liguana mentioned anyone asks questions tell the folks at the shelter,,, It can be a lonely place, keep in mind that you are there for a reason and it is to better life ahead ... makes things easier to handle ,, and again like liguana said only take necessities n such ,, papers etc,,, all else will likely disappear on you before leaving...
I always imaged those places as places where everyone supports one another, woman power etc.. not where they thieve of each other, is it really that bad?
well quite frankly it not a whole lot different than prison is,,,, except for the helpin getting away ,,, i am sure there are some out there where it better than average,,,,, but like anything good,,,, it takes a buncha searching... n when its an emergency type thing there is no planning,,, ,,, n one would have to think that if a person was very well off they would have alternative means of getting away safely,,,,often times when we have to go to a shelter it is because we have no other alternative,,, therefore ya get all walks of folks in desperate ciurcumstances too
That's what I was expecting as well. As if the situation wasn't bad enough.. Hopefully it won't last long. Gotta do what you gotta do sometimes I guess. Thanks for the advice..much love.
sending you much luv n energy sugar, keep in mind though sister it is to help the situation so that one can heal and all that jazz,,, keep the chin up
Thanks so much sweetie. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? If I can get through this, I can get through anything..
I lived in one with my mother and siblings when I was younger. We had trouble with some of the women stealing our things. And husbands used to hang around or try to come into the shelter by saying they where and uncle or a brother. Which was kind of scary, cause some of them had guns. But mostly I remember meeting people who where really nice and supportive. I remember playing games and dancing with everyone, and having some close friends coming out. And I'll never forget those people! All I can really say is dont trust people with your things even if they say the will give them back. Be careful who you trust, and never forget what is right and wrong...think for your self. ( I say that because one of the consolers who worked there told my mom it was okay to throw up if it made her feel better... stupid bitch) I think your strong for making this move! I support you 100%! Your a strong woman and I'm glad your making the choice to be safe! I'm sending you my support and my love! * hugs*
Aww..thanks sweetheart. Sounds like you're wise beyond your years. Going through things like that will do it to you. I've luckily found a way to fly me and my kids back home to TN tonight, so we're not gonna have to go. I've never believed in hell, but if there is one, then I've been living in it since I've been here in Cali. Long story short, I got back with my kids' dad who lives here..moved me and my babies from TN..away from our family and friends..dealt with constant physical/mental abuse (which was all my fault, of course) all for him to leave us here with nothing..no money or anything, and he's now been gone for 5 days...not even a phone call. I've never been so scared in my life. I really didn't want to air out my laundry here, but I guess it helps to trade stories...it helps to not feel so alone, I guess. Abused women always want to give that ""one more chance"..maybe he'll change, blah blah blah. This is something I've been dealing with for 10 years now, and I can finally say that I am done...
I bet I speak for a lot of people here when I say that we wish you the best and are delighted that you are taking charge and handling the situation.
Yes, sugarmaggie, you are a sweet, strong woman and you deserve the VERY best...much luck and love during this time of change...
sugarmaggie, Congratulations and best of luck to you. Have you thought about notifying local law enforcement about your situation? Theres no telling what he's thinking, what he may do or where he may show up. Perhaps provide them with a description of him, what he drives and the such. If anyone thinks this is a bad idea PLEASE speak up. Rest, and try to relax. Happier days are right around the corner.
Thanks everybody, I really appreciate your kindness. I'm home today, and cannot imagine how well I'm going to sleep knowing I'm safe. The dark circles under my eyes have circles...I haven't slept for days. I know everything's gonna be ok, though. I have a very supportive family, and I know I'm very lucky in that sense. It's going to take awhile to get my babies straightened out, but I know in time that will come too... I have an order of protection and a domestic violence charge on him right now, so he's in for a surprise when they find him. From what I hear, Cali doesn't take those cases lightly, so I don't think I'm gonna have to worry about him for awhile. I wouldn't take all the money in the world for this peace of mind. Thanks for being so sweet, guys. I was very hesitant at first to put this thread on here, but now I'm glad I did.
