Ok, after trying and trying and trying and trying, my partner and i are finally at our wits end. We cannot successfully have anal sex. We both want it, and i get extremely turned on by it, but when it comes to the crunch, we can only get, say, an inch in before it starts to become quite uncomfortable for me. We have tried all sorts of positions, we've tried it after a few drinks to relax me, we always use a tonne of lube, but it's simply not happening. A few times after trying, i've had blood coming out from there, and have been in discomfort for days, sometimes midly lasting weeks! Please help! Its the only fantasy we havent been able to follow through with! Grrrrrrr. Kind regards, SpicyCapsicum
what positions have you tried? i'm not a huge fan of anal, but it's a lot of fun every once in a while... i find being on top or spooning with me guiding and controlling the movements is least painful.
Yep, we've tried spooning, me on top, him sitting down with me facing the other way, we've kinda tried doggy but i find myself more tense like that, and we've kinda given my legs over his shoulders a go, but both times with doggy and my feet on shoulders i think i've been a little sore already. We use a water based lube, does that make any difference??
Sounds to me like it's too much too fast and you are involuntarily tensing up because you are injured in that area. Best thing to do is give it a couple of weeks to heal then start with a finger. Then work your way up gradually
Thats what we've been doing though. The times in between trying are months. We start with a little anal toy, we start with fingers, these sessions take hours.
Here is a short tutorial I typed up a while back. It's how *I* learned.. The key to this is to take your time and go slow. You learn how to control your butt and schincter muscles. You learn how to RELAX THEM and you get used to the feeling of it all. Anal play for beginners Disclaimer: I am NOT a doctor and I do NOT play one on TV. This is the way *I* learned how to discover anal play. As usual care needs to be practiced. GO VERY SLOWLY. First start off with a TRIMMED index finger. You may even want to put on a latex glove first to help make it even smoother. Use KY or the drug store brand of KY and lube the finger well. Place it VERY GENTLY near the anus and lightly circle the hole with the finger. DON'T INSERT YET. Just circle it for a few minutes. After a few minutes without insert, just put the finger over the anus and gently press a bit without entering. Just apply a bit of pressure. Do this over and over a few times and after a few minutes SLOWLY begin to insert JUST THE FINGER *TIP* in about a quarter of an inch then take it out. Do this a few times then go a LITTLE further in. Repeat this until you have you whole finger in. DO NOT FORCE IT, IF HE OR SHE OR YOU SAYS STOP, STOP! Within a week or so of trying this the person should be fairly used to the finger and inserting and pumping it in and out should become easy. Also try moving the finger around while inserted, back & forth,etc. Orgasms ARE VERY VERY INTENSE when you leave your finger or butt plug or dildo in. Soon you will want to try something slightly bigger than your finger. Try your middle finger or graduate to a SMALL butt plug. Same rules apply to the new toy as did with the finger. Start off using the finger as usual then after getting loose begin with the plug. Plugs have flared bottoms to prevent them from going all the way in. If you graduate to dildos later get ones with a flared base or ones that have the balls at the bottom. This prevents them from slipping all the way in. You don't need a trip to the ER to retrieve it, that would SUCK! After a while you will become very used to anal play and you won't need much time to prep for your session. You'll loosen up very quickly after you learn how to relax your anal muscles. It takes me less than 5 minutes to go from start to riding a 8 inch silicon dildo like a bucking bronco! GITTYUP LITTLE DOGGIE! The key to learning anal play/sex is to TAKE YOUR TIME.
Tommy: You should do those female fantasy home parties and act out your entire instruction guide....I would totally hire you.....haha. And I think plenty of other women would : )
Whats a good position to do introduce yourself to a toy?? Like obviosly its easier for the other person to do it, but what position will help you relax your anal muscles more??
Spicy.....I don't have an answer that relates to the introduction of an anal toy specifically.....but when the doctor has to administer intra-muscular shots in my hind end they ask me to stand facing away, bend over the exam table with my upper body's weight on the table (so figure your bed) with my feet turned slightly inward (pigeon toed) and then exhale as they inject me (I get sea sick so I have had a few trips to a ship's doctor) ....maybe that works with your kinda quest too : )
