Alright, so I'm in a situation that is tearing me apart. I currently have a boyfriend(of 1.5 years), who absolutely loves and adores me. I love him so much, but it seems these past few months I have been really withdrawn from our relationship. & I think I know why... My boyfriend's best friend is also my best guy friend, so it's a little weird.. My best guy friend is absolutely wonderful and he deserves so much. My friend writes poetry and songs(i do aswell) and he always lets me read his writes and lets me critique them. I am so in love with his poetry is makes me want more like a bloodsucking vampire or something. A lot of his poetry is about himself, and I think I've fallen in love with him through his poetry. My friend, we'll call him B, is currently battling drug abuse. His poetry is so saddening and a lot about suicide and the lack of love and how he can't be in love with a certain girl because of he'd be deceiving someone.. In B's poetry it is almost like a cry for help. I think he wants me to read his poetry for a reason? Is he trying to tell me something? I love my best guy friend so much, he means the world to me, and I want the best for him. We have the same views on life and I feel like what he writes is a lot about me. I still love my boyfriend, too. Our souls are like one, but lately I've just felt really irritated with him, and he has been so clingy. I'm just really torn right now, and my mind's thoughts are tearing me apart. All I can do is write my thoughts down on paper. -What do you ladies and gentlemen think?
Pursuing B would crush your boyfriend like none other. No joke. Don't be with someone because you pity them; be with someone because you love them. You said that mutual love exists between you and your boyfriend, and you've been together for a long time, so don't fuck it up because someone else is crying for attention. Just my thoughts, but in the end, you would know better than anyone here.
I totally agree with you on your thoughts. But then, I still have a thought in the back of my head: I dont look at B crying for attention. If I were to ever be with him, yes, I would help him in the process. But, I sometimes find myself longing for his touch, or a deep connection with his mind..
All I'm going to say, is that if you act on that desire right now, everyone is going to wind up hating everyone and everything will wind up completely fucked up. In the future, who knows... But right now, I would not recommend it.
If you want a partner who is weaker than you, go with B. "it is almost like a cry for help." "yes, I would help him in the process" "My friend, we'll call him B, is currently battling drug abuse" sounds like a fixer-upper. If you want a partner who is your equal, it sounds like A is the best choice.
the reason he is being clingy is because he sees u fading into the distance and he loves u. he'll probably soon develop chemical problems if this keeps up.
personally id put some distance between you and B. you and your bf are having some issues that you need to sort out, and teh grass-is-greener thing is all youre seeing right now (in my ever so humbel opinion at least)
that's a really hard situation to be in. okay, assuming the three of you wouldn't be interested in a poly relationship, i'm going to go against the popular opinion here. the pragmatic thing to do would be to forget all about B and just stay in the relationship you have and make the best of it. but love is not a pragmatic thing. you're irritated with your bf because you know he's not what you want and need. you care for him, but only a part of you is involved in that relationship. you know you need someone with a bit of poetry in their soul. someone who will speak to that side of you. you can try to ignore this aspect of your nature, but it will make you die a little each day to do so. i would not say a drug problem is a reason to write someone off that you care for as long as you're clear on your personal boundaries and take care of your own needs. however, i do feel you need to leave one relationship before you begin another one. to do otherwise would cause pain to people you care for and would in turn hurt you.
