I gotta save my relationship...But I don't know how...Need Help

Hello everybody...Okay here's the deal:
My first girlfriend & I have been going out for a couple of months now & I thought everything was going great (what an idoit I was), I really loved her & she really loved me. I noticed that over the past few days she's been acting strange around me, she's been quiter that usual. But I brushed this off as being nothing, 'maybe she was having a bad week' I thought to myself.

Then all of a sudden last night, 40 mins before I had to go to work. She rings me up & says she has something bad to tell me. About now I was freakin', She then tells me she wants to end our relationship. She says the old: 'its not you, its me' line & that she is not ready for a seroius relationship. Also that since she wants to become a doctor she says that she needs to really concentrete on her studies (Am I just a distration to her?). It hurts me deeply that she would chose money & books over someone who loves her...

I don't know if its the truth or she is using this as an excuse to cover up the real reason...I asked if she still loves me & she said she doesn't know... I don't know if she wants just a break from each other or that she wants to end it permenatly... I also don't know if she is doing this herself someone/something is influencing her.

I felt so miserable & depressed, there was no way I could go to work after that. We haven't offically broken up yet & she wants to talk to me in person. People tell me to end it & move on, but I can't. I feel I have one more chance to win her back but I don't know how. I'm not good with words & I'm so confused. What should I do?

 

what you want to do with your life isnt about "money and books", but about what you are truly passionate about

to be honest, do you want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you? i mean, if her passion is becoming a doctor and healing others through medicine, she aint gonna have a lot of time for you

 

the most important relationship to cultivate is the one you have with yourself...be yourself. all relationships with others are temporary - even if you stay together your whole lives, death will eventually part you. so the only person you will be with, be knowing constantly, through thick and thin, is yourself. if you are strong alone, then relationships with others will never hold the fear and depression you currently feel. don't give others power over you - you are a free and beautiful spirit.

 

sorry ur hurting right now but tho I may choose someone I love over money I would not choose someone who loves me over money if I wasn't sure I loved them back. Sorry to come off insensitive but that line just kinda struck me as self-centered and I need sleep NOW.
You'll get over her.

 

If she is serious about her education, and wants to be a doctor, then yes you are likely a distraction to her. You assume that she chose books over love.....yet you expect her to choose love for you over her future. If you "love" her you will understand that she is planning for her future and respect it, even if you don't like it.

Yeah, it sucks for you. It's also not your choice to save your relationship because she has to want to save it too. Spend some time being miserable, and then move on. It's really all you can do....and most of us have been there too. It hurts, but you do get over it.

 

I'm afraid if you do manage to save it, that you'll lose it later on anyway. Don't prolong the agony...end it.

 

You're right I have been selfish, I've just been doing things I wanted not what she wanted. I shouldn't expect her to give up everything for me. I was a fool to think otherwise.

I'm still not giving up hope though...

Thanks dean-louise for trying to make me feel better, you say be myself. But I don't know who I am anymore, the person who I thought I was is not me. I've been lying to myself this whole time & I am becoming somthing I never wanted to be...

 

just go easy on yourself. knowing who you are and where you want to be and how you want to be is your everyday work; like a painting or a story it's a work in progress; each day you will find something different.

i spent a lot of my life trying to be happy through what others thought of me or what others could give me or do for me, and i know it is just a road to heartache. we are all looking out for ourselves; some with no thought for anyone else, and some trying to make others happy as well as themselves, which is usually difficult to do all the time.

so what i am trying to say is don't wait for her or anyone to think you are worth being with or loving, cos their opinions of you are far less important than YOUR opinion of you. and at present you are unhappy and lonely and feeling rejected and that's ok - it does pass... the quicker you let it go, the sooner!

so again i say - go easy on yourself. spend the next few weeks doing stuff you love. :sunny:

 

hey dude, about 3 1/2 years ago I got some divorce papers handed to me. I thought the whole world was coming to an end and that I would never be able to love again.


Then one day I got a call from a friend In Colorado that needed a roommate, so I packed up my stuff and left Michigan, where I had lived for 39 years and where my whole family and all of my friends were.

I live in a log cabin on the side of a mountain, have a wonderful and very loving fiance whom I adore. Have a great job, new friends and a great life.

Had I not gotten those divorce papers, I would still be in Michigan in a crappy marriage at a crappy job, in a small house in the middle of a corn field.

Remember that everything that happens can be turned into something that is good or even better.