What would you think

If a guy told you he had decided not to sleep with you because of the incredible connection that you had even though he really did want to and he knew that you were up for it too?

 

GAY ? or maybe he`s insecure about performance/size. is he keen on foreplay, or is it just the penetration that he is refusing ?

 

Not gay, not insecure

I think its jsut a nice way of saying I think you're ugly

 

either sex isnt a big part of his life (ie low libido), or sex is really really sacred to him and he will only share it with a few select individuals his entire life. or else he plain ol isnt interested

 

^ mmhm

Don't right away start thinking it's bad because it is unusual to you
I have a friend, that is definitely not gay, and he holds sex, and girls, as something very sacred, and would only have sex with someone he is very in love with, yet the girl he is in love with, he would not ever do anything with, cause he likes her as a friend
(kinda stupid, I know)

 

I also have a guy friend like this... he only wants to sleep with someone he's in love with, or in a relationship with. He's been celebate (by choice mostly) for quite a long time because of this, but insists that sex without love is meaningless. I think it's really great, to be honest.

 

It doesn't sound all that odd. If he thought you were ugly why go on about the connection you guys had? Sex fucks up a lot of relationships especially in the beginning. Maybe he wants to get to know you or maybe he hopes this will make him stand out from other men. I wouldn't be so quick to assume he has found fault in you. Women are way too quick to do that, just because he doesn't maul you like an animal the first date doesn't mean he thinks you are nasty. Try to quit equating sex with your self worth.

 

Well he doesn't hold sex sacred, I mean he would sleep with any woman that lookd sideways at him.

We have been really good friends for over a year.

He told me that he had decided before we met (had been chatting online for a while) that he wouldn't sleep with me. So anyway we met, I kinda fell for him, he told me that he wasn't interested in being anything more than friends and then just the other day he told me that he wanted to be more than friends for a long time and had to stop himself from making a move several times.

I really don't understand what he is telling me hey!

And I don't equat sex with my slef worth exactly, but I also know that I am not very attractive and to be honest he isn't the first guy that has used the old 'why fuck up a friendship with sex' line on me.

 

Women always complain that men are horny bastards.

Now when a chick meets a guy who isn't, she complains.

 

That is so strange. Has he every had any realationships were he was in love and got hurt? Because you said he has had his share of women he slept with. Because he could be scared to pursue his feelings he has for you because he probably never felt this way before. It does scare us guys sometimes when we meet a woman thats so wonderful in every way but we are afraid to put our heart and feelings out there because of the chance of getting hurt. You shouldn't every feel like you aren't attractive because guys LOVE a woman with confidence. If you don't feel like you are the best thing walking how do you expect other people to feel that way about you. My girlfriend is a plus-sized girl but she has the confidence of a petite woman. And it show s and thats one thing that I love about her.

 

I'm not complaining - jsut asking someone to help me understand what he means

 

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth?

 

pardon?

 

Just sit him down and have a blunt conversation with him and putting everything on the table and tell him to do the same. Because it could be anything but you won't ever know until you ask him.

 

Yeah I agree that that would be the best option and he will talk to me about it to a point and then he jsut clams up and won't go any further and I don't see the point in pushing the point and having an arguement.

 

Yeah I understand. I don't like confrontations either. If a argument can be avoided I would rather avoid it. I guess you just have to follow your heart and do that.

 

i'd think he just wasn't really that into me.

 

How come a guy isn't allowed to be interested in a girl and not want to have sex right away?

 

right away? it's been over a year she said. what does this sound like?

"He told me that he had decided before we met (had been chatting online for a while) that he wouldn't sleep with me. So anyway we met, I kinda fell for him, he told me that he wasn't interested in being anything more than friends and then just the other day he told me that he wanted to be more than friends for a long time and had to stop himself from making a move several times."

either he's just being coy and he wants HER to be the aggressor, or he's really not that into her.

 

yeah I think he is not really that in to me, and thats cool and all, but then why does he keep trying to convince me that he is?? its all too weird for me!